


Say Uncle

by Icecat62



Category: Emergency!
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gen, Humor, Major Character Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-15 23:45:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 64,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2247864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icecat62/pseuds/Icecat62
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Johnny takes a chance on love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Uncle

**Author's Note:**

> I've edited this old fic and revamped a major scene. Apparently when I first wrote it, many people were a bit disappointed by a certain section, so hopefully what I changed will rectify it.
> 
> Originally posted to ALLEFanfic@yahoogroups.com and JohnnysGreenPen - November 2001.

The mattress beneath his back was soft. Too soft. It was then that he remembered that he wasn't in his own bed. Keeping his eyes closed, he mentally berated himself. He had done it again.

Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and looked around the unfamiliar bedroom. Lace curtains hung in the windows and a large dresser with perfumes and makeup were to his right. He could feel the heat of a body next to him.

Rolling over, he cringed. She was a bit too young. She had to be barely twenty-three...if he were lucky. He hadn't bothered to ask her age. Hell, he hadn't asked her much of anything, all he remembered was seeing her. Seeing the resemblance. That's all it took. Even at the age of thirty-eight he could still charm them with a few words and a smile.

The girl hadn't bothered to ask how old he was either. She had smiled at him, hung on to his every word. It was a game he had been playing for years and he knew she was playing it too. They both knew what they were doing. They both knew what they wanted and didn't care about tomorrow. The feel of her, the way she had clung to him, her taste...it had managed to block out the reason why he was with her. Now that it was over, it all came back to him.

Curling a finger through the girl's long blond hair, he frowned. It wasn't as soft as hers. Not as golden. No matter how hard he searched, he could never find a woman to replace her. He'd tried, God how he'd tried, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't find someone to take the place of a woman who he had never even been with. How could he replace something he never had? That was his dilemma. If he had what he wanted, he knew it wouldn't be like this. It wouldn't be a one night stand of frenzied sex. It would be forever...and that's what scared him the most.

Pushing the sheet back, he slowly sat up, rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair. He was getting too old for this. He was tired of playing games, he was tired of avoiding the reason for all of this. All he wanted to do was resolve it, but he knew that if he tried, he would end up losing things. Things that mattered the most to him. Things that would kill him if they were lost.

Standing, he quietly dressed. Pulling on his jeans, he looked down at the sleeping figure that he had used to replace her. He felt the familiar sorrow and guilt growing in the pit of his stomach. Pushing it aside, he glanced at the digital clock on the dresser by the bed. It was four-thirty. It would give him enough time to get home, shower and then get to the station. As he buttoned his shirt, the girl woke up and gave him a sleepy smile.

"You going home?"

"Um...yeah...I have to be at work in a couple hours."

"Oh. Well...last night...it was nice. If you want..." She paused and gave him a strange look before shaking her head and wistfully smiling at him. "How about I call you some time. Maybe we could go out to a movie or something."

Looking into her eyes, he gave her a grateful smile. She knew that she wasn't the one. She knew and she was letting him off the hook by leaving it up to her to call him. He knew he'd never hear from her again. "Yeah...that sounds good."

Buckling his belt, he moved over to the bed and ran a hand gently through her hair. Leaning down, he gave her a kiss that was almost chaste compared to the ones that they had shared only a few short hours before. Without saying another word, he grabbed his keys from the dresser and left the room.

He felt relieved as he made his way out of the house and to the old Land Rover parked in the driveway. No strings attached, no complications, just the empty hole in his soul that needed to be filled.

*******************************

"John. John. Gage!"

His head snapped up from the magazine he was staring at. Chet was standing over him giving him an annoyed look.

"What is wrong with you? Did that knock on your head leave you deaf or what?"

Frowning at Chet, Gage stood up and tossed the magazine he had been looking at down on the table. "I was thinkin'. Can't a man think without gettin' yelled at?"

Chet smiled sweetly. "If the man were capable of thinking that would be different."

"Oh grow up Chet."

"Nice come back John. You got anything better than that?"

Pushing past the shorter man, Gage walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself another cup. It was his third cup so far and he still didn't feel wide awake. It use to be he could survive on two or three hours sleep with no problem, but he had to admit to himself that he wasn't exactly a kid any more.

Staring at the cup in his hand, he could feel the nagging depression latch onto him again. He had to do something soon or it would too late. She'd be gone and he'd be alone without ever knowing if they could have made it work.

Chet's voice buzzed at his ear again. In a whiny irritated voice, Gage spun around and glared at him. "What do you want?!"

Chet took a step back from him. "Ya' know what grouchy, you need to quit staying out so late on work nights."

"And you need to quit buggin' me."

"Now come on John, if I didn't bug you, how would you ever know that I still cared about you?" Chet batted his eyes and smiled at him, backing further away when Gage took a menacing step forward. "Relax! All I wanted to know is, are you still going to the picnic?"

Gage stopped and thought for a minute. The annual fireman's picnic was on Saturday. Did he switch shifts with Davies or did he forget and let Thompson have the slot? Rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, he frowned. "I don't know. I think I switched my schedule."

Chet looked at Gage like he was nuts. "Well, you better have remembered or Roy'll be pissed at you. He went to a lot of trouble getting everything arranged and if you don't show up...well I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Chet moved even closer to him, lowering his voice. He looked pointedly at Gage. "It's not every day that Jennifer turns 'twenty-one' you know."

Gage froze. He didn't like the look that Chet was giving him or the tone of voice he was using. He hadn't slipped up some how had he? How in the hell would Chet even know how he felt? He glared at him again and walked past him and headed for his locker.

He listened to Chet's footsteps following him. Yanking his locker open, he ran a finger down the paper taped to the door. He had Saturday off. He didn't screw it up. Breathing a sigh of relief, he tapped the faded picture of Smoky the Bear before shutting the locker.

He smiled smugly at Chet. "I remembered."

Chet was still giving him the willies by the way he was looking at him. "Did you buy Jennifer her present yet?"

He gave Chet a wary look. "Yeah...I bought it a couple of weeks ago."

"What did you get her?"

"Huh?"

"You are deaf. I said, what...did...you...get...her."

"It's none of your damn business!" As he went to turn and leave, Chet grabbed him by the arm. Shaking him off he glared down at him. "Chet will you leave me alone!"

"You're going to have to do something about it sooner or later John."

He felt a chill run down his spine again. Chet knew. Some how he knew. He opened his mouth to begin his denial, but Chet cut him off.

"I know how you feel about her, Johnny."

Gage gave Chet a deer caught in the headlights look. He called him Johnny. Not John, not Gage...Johnny. This was Chester B. being dead serious. It wasn't something he was use to.

Chet used Gage's shock to continue talking. "It kind of surprised me when I figured it out." He smirked slightly. "To be honest, it really grossed me out at first."

Gage glared at him and Chet held his hands up in a defensive gesture. "Come on, be honest with yourself. It is kind of...weird."

"Chet...you...I should..."

"Just hold on a sec, I'm not done."

Gage closed his mouth, gripping the mug of coffee tightly in his hand, waiting for Chet to insult him again. Instead, he was surprised once more.

"You should tell her how you feel. She feels the same way."

Gage gave Chet an uneasy look. If he said anything to agree or question how Jennifer felt, it would be admitting how he felt. What if Chet were only baiting him to find out his feelings? What if he was going to use this to torture him like he always did? Looking into Chet's eyes, he saw nothing but sincerity. Taking a deep breath, he made his decision. It was do or die.

"How do you know how she feels?" The maniacal triumphant laughter he was expecting never came.

"I've watched her watching you."

"She watches me doing what?"

Chet grinned. "Anything and everything. She's been keeping an eye on you ever since she turned fourteen and you...you've been eying her since she turned seventeen."

Gage could feel his face turning red. "I have not!"

"Yes you have John." Chet smiled at him and shook his head. "While you two have been watching one another, I've been following it every step of the way."

Gage flopped down on the bench in front of his locker. Setting the mug of coffee down beside him, he ran a hand nervously through his hair. Looking back up at Chet, he gave him a worried frown. "Have I been that obvious?"

His eyes widened in fear. "Does Roy know?!"

Chet laughed. "Calm down John. Do you think if Roy knew he'd still be friends with you? Beside if he knew he would have shipped Jennifer off to a private school some where to keep her away from you."

"Very funny."

Chet shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, I'm only telling the truth. Jennifer will be the easy one to talk to, it's Roy that you're going to have to convince. You know he's going to freak when he finds out about you two."

Gage placed a hand on his chest, his voice getting loud. "There isn't...I haven't even said anything to her yet! How can he get mad about that?!"

"Who's getting mad?"

Both Chet and Gage's heads snapped to look at Roy standing at the entrance of the locker room. Chet then looked at Gage, nodding his head slightly he mouthed, go ahead. Gage shook his head no, then smiled nervously at Roy.

"Uh...no one...Chet and I were just talking...about the picnic."

"Yeah, I said that you would have gotten mad if he hadn't remembered to take Saturday off. We came in here to check out his schedule."

Roy stared at Gage, his voice rising slightly. "You didn't forget did you?!"

"No! I remembered...see!" He jumped up, opened his locker and pointed at the date. It clearly showed that he had the day off.

Roy relaxed and smiled. "It's a good thing you did remember or Jennifer would have been really upset. After all you are her favorite uncle."

Chet smiled at Gage. "Yeah John, you are her favorite. There's no one else that she likes better than you."

Gage grit his teeth. He knew what Chet was doing and he wasn't prepared to tell Roy. Not now.

Looking at Roy, he didn't know if he could ever say anything to him about it period. The fear of losing his friendship over all of this weighed heavily on his mind. The only problem was now that he knew that Jennifer felt the same about him as he did about her...he couldn't avoid any of it. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. He'd first see how things went with Jennifer and then he'd talk to Roy. Why cause a stink before it was necessary?

Roy gave Chet a curious look then shook his head. Between Chet and Gage, he didn't know which of the two were more bizarre at times. "Come on Junior, we need to go to Rampart to pick up some supplies."

"Okay."

Roy turned and left the room and Gage shut his locker. Chet stood smiling at Gage. "Are you going to tell him on the way over?"

"No!"

"When are you going to tell him?"

"I...look I'll tell him...when I tell him."

"Oh that's really smart."

"Just shut up Chet." He pointed a finger at him. "And don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Whatever. You're the one that's going to have to suffer the consequences not me."

Gage quickly turned away from Chet and jogged out to the squad. As he slid into the passenger side, he immediately tensed up. How in the hell was he ever going to talk to his partner about this? He was a trusted family member as far as the rest of the DeSoto's were concerned. How were any of them going to react to how he felt about Jennifer?

His heart skipped a beat as he thought of Roy, Chris and Joanne hating him. Then he thought of talking to Jennifer about how he felt and his heart began to race. Rubbing his sweaty palms along his thighs, he took a deep breath and tried to relax.

Chet said that she cared about him. She watched him all the time. Caring and watching someone was a hell of a big difference than loving them. Did he really want to take a chance and risk everything he had, just to find out if she loved him?

He looked out the side window, avoiding any eye contact with Roy as they drove to Rampart. He had to do this. He had to finally know. It was better than letting something wonderful slip through his fingers because he was a coward. Like it or not, his relationship with Roy was about to change. Or it would end. He'd know by Saturday. Two more days and all his questions would be answered. All his dreams realized or shattered. Until then, he'd have to try and act as normal as possible. Turning to Roy, he began a conversation about the picnic, while another part of his brain thought of what he would say to Jennifer.

*******************************

Taking slow shallow breaths, Gage sat in the Rover trying to stop himself from hyperventilating. Cupping his hands together, he breathed in them, knowing that if he didn't gain some self control, he'd make a complete fool of himself. He was supposed to be calm. He was an adult not some pimply faced teenager getting ready to ask a girl to the prom. Why in the hell was he so damned nervous?

Leaning back he stared out the windshield watching all of the people as they made their way to the park. Today was the day that his life would be changed forever.

Chet had reassured him several times over the past two days that he wasn't yanking his chain when it came to Jennifer. His words echoed repeatedly in his mind. "John, this is Jennifer DeSoto I'm talking about, not one of the nurses at Rampart. Do you think I'd ever do anything to hurt her? Give me some credit."

Placing his hand on the door, he pushed it open and stepped out. It was a beautiful day. Perfect. He felt like he was going to throw up.

Making his way around the truck, he opened the back and pulled out a cooler. Grabbing a baseball cap, he folded it over and tucked it in a back pocket of the worn out jeans he had on. Pulling out his baseball glove and a bat, he shoved them under an arm and closed the hatch. Grabbing the cooler he began the long trek up the hill to the section of pavilions where all the firemen and their families were gathering.

The closer he got to them, the more his head pounded. The small headache that had been nagging at him since the explosion at a rescue they had three days ago, now thumped in his head like a kettle drum beating a heavy rhythm.

His throat constricted as he saw her. She stood at the end of one of the pavilions chatting with her mother. Her long blond hair gleamed in the summer sun like brushed gold. With each step toward her, his chest tightened in fear. What if Chet was wrong? He'd look like a complete ass, worse yet, he'd look like some pervert.

When she turned his way, a bright smile lit up her face. She moved away from her mother and began running up to him, just like she had a thousand times before.

He quickly dropped everything he was carrying, knowing what was coming. She jumped up and threw herself into his arms, laughing as he caught her and spun her around in a circle. Her arms clung tightly around his neck and she kissed him on the cheek.

Just as he was about to release her, she whispered in his ear. "I'm glad you're here Johnny."

Letting her slide down his body, he looked down at her, the smile on his face growing bigger. She had called him Johnny, not Uncle Johnny.

Leaning down he kissed her on the cheek. "I wouldn't miss this for the world. It's not every day that my little princess turns twenty-one."

She gave him a nervous look and let her hands drop from around his neck. Toeing the dirt beneath her feet, she tried to smile. "Yeah...I guess I'm always going to be a little princess to you aren't I?"

His breath caught in his throat. Chet was right. There was no mistaking the sound of disappointment in her voice. Taking a deep breath, he began what he hoped would be the start of something wonderful for them both. "Jen...we need to talk. I..." He quickly shut his mouth as Joanne walked over to them.

Jennifer turned around and leaned against him, her hand seeking his. No one would think anything of it. She was his little princess, he was her protector.

"I was wondering what was keeping you, Johnny. Usually you're the first one out here."

He could feel Joanne's eyes raking over him, looking for something. Or maybe it was his guilt playing tricks with his mind. Pushing aside his nervousness, he tightened his grip on Jennifer's hand, giving it a light squeeze. "Yeah, I'm sorry about bein' late. I got stuck in traffic."

He reluctantly let go of Jennifer's hand. As he bent down to retrieve his dropped bat and glove, Jennifer grabbed them before he did, flashing him a bright smile. "I've got them Uncle Johnny."

"Thanks Jen."

Picking the cooler up, he followed them to the pavilion and dropped the cooler down beside several others. Joanne was still looking at him funny. "Jen, why don't you go and see if Chris needs a hand with setting up the tables."

"Okay Mom. I'll talk to you later Uncle Johnny."

"Sure Jen."

She smiled at him again and quickly trotted away. He couldn't help watching her as her hair shimmered and bounced with each step she took. He could feel Joanne's eyes still on him. Turning to her, he tried to wipe all of his feelings for Jennifer from his face. "Do you need me to do anything?"

She was looking at him. He knew that look. It was the one she gave the kids when she knew they were up to no good.

"No Johnny, I think we have things almost ready. Why don't you go find the other guys and see what they're going to do."

"Sure Jo...thanks."

Making his way around tables and people, he finally found the person he was looking for. He tried to keep the panic out of his voice, but failed miserably. "Chet...she knows."

Chet looked up at him and grinned. "Of course she knows, I told you she liked you."

"No you dolt, I'm talking about Joanne."

Chet's eyes grew big. "You told her?"

"What?! No, do you think I'm stupid?"

Chet smirked at him.

"Ha, ha. Very funny. No, I didn't tell her, she just keeps lookin' at me with that look."

"What look?"

"You know...the look she gives Roy when she knows he's hiding something from her."

"Oooohhh. 'That' look." Chet frowned. "You're in trouble then."

Chet drew a beer from the keg next to them and handed it to Gage. He spotted Joanne staring over at them. "Don't look now John, but Jo's watching you like a hawk."

Gage turned around. Chet's voice hissed at him. "I told you not to look!"

Catching Joanne's eye, Gage gave her a bright smile and waved to her. She looked confused at first, then she smirked as she waved back at him and shook her head as she turned away. Turning back to face Chet, he blew out a breath in relief.

Chet stared at him in amazement. "How did you do that?"

Gage took a big swig of beer and swallowed it. "Do what?"

"What you just did. She was real suspicious and now she's blowing it off like there's nothing wrong."

Gage shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know."

Shaking his head, Chet took a sip of his beer. "So when are you going to talk to her?"

"Who? Joanne?"

Chet made an exasperated face. "No you dimmy, Jennifer!"

"Sssssshhh! Man, keep your voice down!"

Chet frowned at Gage as he remained silent. "You're chickening out aren't you?"

"No, I'm just thinkin'."

"Don't think, just do. When you think you mess up."

"Chet."

"No, I'm serious. You do your best work when you're running on instinct. Believe me, I've seen you in action. Just go and talk to her."

"Now?"

Taking Gage's beer from him, he motioned him away. "Now."

Just as he was about to go, he frowned at Chet. "Why are you doing this?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"You really want to know?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, okay, calm down!" Chet grinned at him. "If you don't get married soon and have some kids, how are my kids going to have a pigeon to play pranks on?"

Gage stared back at Chet. "You're a real jerk, you know that don't you?"

"John, quit stalling and go talk to her before some young guy gets to her."

"Shut up!"

Turning away from Chet, Gage made his way across the pavilion feeling people staring at him. A few men snickered. He knew that they had no idea what he and Chet had been discussing. They all probably figured Chet was tormenting him like he always did. *Thanks Chester B.*

As he walked out into the sunshine, he looked around trying to spot Jennifer in the crowd of people milling about. When he finally found her, he cursed under his breath. It was just his luck. She was standing next to Roy as he flipped burgers on a grill. There was no way in hell he was going to even attempt talking to her now. It would have to wait until after lunch.

Lunch came and went and every time he began to even think about talking to Jennifer, she would be with either Roy or Joanne. It had to be a conspiracy of some kind.

Sighing, he tossed his plate of half eaten food in the trash. Looking around he finally thought he would have a chance to talk to her. She was by herself clearing a table. Just as he went to walk over to her, a man walked up to her and took the plates she was holding out of her hands.

Squinting, he tried to place the man's name. He knew he was from Station 110. A new guy. A very 'young' guy. He watched her from a distance as she talked with him. To his relief she looked bored.

She looked up and caught him staring at her. Smiling, he made a face and gestured behind the man's back. When she started laughing he knew he had nothing to worry about. She looked away from him and said something to the guy and then she walked quickly away. He watched as the younger man followed her with his eyes.

Something he hadn't expected flared up within him, making his chest tighten. It had been years since he had felt this emotion when it came to a woman. Jealousy. He was jealous of someone other than himself talking to her. He didn't like the feeling.

There was no reason to feel the way he did. He hadn't even told her how he felt. Maybe it was just him being overprotective of her. She had been the one person that he had known in his life that had loved him unconditionally. From the first moment she had placed her small hand in his, he knew he would never have to be anything more than who he was.

Walking through the pavilion, he finally saw an opening to talk with her. She was by herself, washing her hands under a faucet. Walking toward her, he took a deep breath, trying to think of the words that would start everything in motion.

Suddenly he jerked to a stop as a hand grabbed him by the arm and pulled him off course. He glared at the person who had grabbed him. "Hey! What's the big...oh. Hi Marco."

"Come on Johnny, the game's about to start!"

"Okay, okay, just hold your horses. I'll be over in a minute." Marco jogged off. Turning back toward Jennifer, he cursed. "Damn it!" She had disappeared again.

 

*******************************

Sitting in the dugout, Gage leaned back on the bench for a moment before he stood and grabbed his bat. He was getting frustrated by his inability to talk with Jennifer. He had to talk to her today. For some reason he felt that if he didn't, he'd never get another chance to.

Walking to the batters box, he took a few swings to warm up. Stepping forward he stared at the pitcher who smirked at him. It was the guy from 110 that had been hitting on Jennifer.

"Hey old man, you ready to strike out like the rest of the geezers?!"

Gage narrowed his eyes in anger. Sure they were old. It was a running joke that the A shift at Station 51 was the old folks home for fireman. They had the longest running group that had stayed together at the station. They had grown older like a group of brothers. They were all family. He didn't mind the jokes, but coming from the new guy...it really pissed him off.

Adjusting his stance, he watched the ball go over the plate.

"Strike one Grandpa!"

Digging his heals in deeper into the dirt beneath his feet, Gage smiled thinly back at the boy.

Roy smiled at Chet in the dugout. Chet smirked back. "Home run?"

"Yeah...I think he's got Johnny a bit 'irritated'."

Marco and Mike snickered and Cap shook his head. "I never thought I'd live to see the day when somebody called John, grandpa."

Just as they were all about to break out laughing the pitch was thrown.

Gage smiled as he watched the pitch coming toward him. It was perfect. Dead center, blazingly fast. His bat connected with a resound thwack. He knew it was going to go over the fence the moment he hit it.

Instinct took over and he sprinted toward first base. As his foot connected with the base, he quickly sprinted toward second, then shifted gears into a slow jog as he heard his fellow teammates yelling the word home run. As he trotted to third, he looked at the pitcher.

Keeping his eyes locked with his, Gage slowed down even more. Just as he reached home plate, he took his cap off and tipped it at him. He received a glare in return.

He couldn't resist. "I guess you can keep your place on the Little League team you're on...sonny!" With a satisfied smile, he made his way back toward the dugout. When he saw Jennifer standing by the fence, he instinctively trotted over to her.

"Nice hit Johnny. I guess you showed him, huh?"

"Yeah, I don't think he'll be so quick to count us old guys out any more."

She frowned at him. "You're not old."

He grinned back at her. "I'm not?"

Her frown turned into a teasing smile. "Nope. You look the same as you did when Dad first brought you home to me." Her face turned red and she quickly looked down at her feet.

Gage's smile grew wider.

"Uh...I mean when dad first brought you home...to our house."

He knew he couldn't talk to her now. Not here. "Jen, we need to talk. Can you meet me after the game, down by the Rover?"

As she looked up, he could see the uncertainty in her eyes. Her voice sounded so small and unsure. "Okay...okay Uncle Johnny."

Cocking his head to the side, he looked at her face. She looked scared, like she had done something wrong. "Jen, it's not what you think. I'm not mad at you."

She gave him a confused look.

"Jen, I..."

A voice cut him off before he could tell her how he felt. "Come on John, we have a game to play!"

He grit his teeth in annoyance. It was Chet yelling at him. Chet was the one that told him to talk to Jennifer and now that he was, the guy was interfering. "Look Jen, just meet me there, okay?"

"Okay." She turned away from him and made her way into the stands.

Jogging back to the dugout, Gage was met with high fives and slaps on the back. As he made his way down the bench, he noticed he also received a few funny looks.

As he plopped down on the bench beside Roy, he could feel his partners eyes on him. When he heard his voice, he knew he was under the microscope again.

Roy's voice was dry. "Nice hit Junior."

He avoided looking at Roy and pretended that his laces were loose. Leaning down he retied them. "Thanks." He could feel the tension in Roy. He knew something was up. *Oh boy.*

"So what did Jennifer want?"

Sitting back up, he leaned against the wall behind him. "She wanted to congratulate me."

Roy kept looking at him. It was more of a penetrating stare.

Just as Roy opened his mouth to ask him something again, the umpire called the third out. Jumping up, Gage grabbed his mitt and slapped Roy on the shoulder with it. "Come on Roy, let's go show'em how to play ball."

Gage watched Roy stand. He still had that look on his face, but it was fading.

As he jogged onto the field, he knew he'd have to do a ton of talking in the next few hours. Some of it would be with Jennifer and some of it would be with Roy and Joanne.

His stomach did a flip flop as he thought of what he would say to Roy. As he took his position behind home plate, he tried to think of only the game. At least he could enjoy that while he had the chance.

*******************************

As he made his way through the handshake line, Gage scanned the crowd for any sign of Jennifer. He was so intent on looking for her, that he wouldn't have even noticed the insult aimed at him unless the man hadn't made a point of trying to squeeze the shit out of his hand.

"You're not a bad player for an old man."

Yanking his hand away, the words slipped from his mouth without a second thought. "Screw you, asshole."

He felt a fist connect with his ribs. Bringing a hand up, he quickly grabbed his attackers shirt and pulled him down to the ground.

He was a bit surprised to find himself on top. It always seemed that whenever he became involved in an altercation, he always managed to be on the receiving end of a fight.

*Well, it's about time I did some giving.* Placing two quick rabbit punches in his opponents face, he then felt hands grab him from behind and pull him away.

He heard people yelling. "What's wrong with you Johnny?!" "Knock it off Greg!"

So that was the guys name. Greg. Shaking off what ended up being Roy's hold on his arm, he calmly dusted his jeans off. Roy stared at him in surprise.

Chet and Marco were smiling, while Cap ran a hand over his face and shook his head. All he could think about was the report he'd have to file.

Mike reached down and picked up Gage's baseball cap and handed it to him. Leaning forward, he kept his voice low. "Nice punch John."

Gage grinned. "Thanks."

His grin faded when he noticed the looks of disapproval that Roy and Cap shot his way. He pointed a finger at Greg who was being helped to his feet. "He started it!"

Roy rolled his eyes, suppressing a smile. "You sound exactly like Chris, you know that don't you?"

Turning away from Gage, Roy stepped toward Greg. "Let me have a look at your nose."

Greg sniffed and wiped a trickle of blood off his upper lip. Glaring at Roy, he spun on his heal and walked away.

Roy sighed and addressed another man. "Make sure he gets that checked out."

"Sure Roy."

Now that all the excitement had died down, Gage's thoughts immediately shifted back to Jennifer. What if she had seen what had happened?

Closing his eyes, he felt like a complete jerk. He knew how much she hated fighting. She was always the one kid in the group that would do anything to stop a fight, even if it meant being a tattletale and running home to tell her mom about it.

Looking around, he didn't see her. The relief flooded through him and was then replaced by nervousness. The butterflies took flight. It was time. She was probably...hopefully...waiting for him down by the Rover.

Shoving the cap on his head, Gage jogged over to the bench, grabbed his glove and bat and made his way off the field.

He heard Roy yelling at him. "Johnny!"

He yelled back over his shoulder, hoping that Roy wouldn't follow him. "I'll be right back!"

*******************************

Jogging down the hill, he made his way through the lot and toward his truck. He could see her leaning against the back of the vehicle. Her arms were crossed and her posture looked stiff.

He slowed down to a walk, feeling like a man going to the electric chair. She had to have seen him fighting. How was he going to talk to her about there being a them, if he first had to explain to her why he had been in a fight?

Gripping the bat tightly in his hand, he stepped around to the back of the truck. "Hi Princess."

Jennifer turned and fixed him with a stony glare. He could tell that she was angry, but he also saw the hint of a smile on her lips. He had no way of knowing that she was trying not to smile because he looked too cute covered in dirt and with a guilty look on his face.

Clearing her throat, she tried to stay serious. She knew that if she gave Gage an inch he'd take a yard. He knew how to work peoples feelings, especially hers.

She nodded her head in the direction of the ball field. "What was that all about?"

Placing the glove in his hand on his chest, Gage's voice rose. "That guy Greg hit me, what did you expect me to do?!"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Walking away would be good. You know...turn the other cheek."

He snorted. "Yeah, if I would've turned the other cheek, he would've hit it."

They stood silently looking at one another. He made the first move. Taking his keys out, he opened the hatch of the Rover and tossed his cap, bat and glove in.

Reaching down, he pulled a small box out. It was wrapped in colorful paper, with a bright blue ribbon tied around it. Shutting the hatch, he looked nervously down at the box in his hands. Looking back up, he noticed there were too many people around. He wanted this to be private. Raking a hand through his hair, he gave Jennifer an unsure look.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?"

She looked around them and hugged her arms to her chest. She suddenly felt like she was going to cry. This was the 'talk' that she knew was coming. He had guessed that she had a crush on him and now he was going to let her down easy. Biting her lip to keep from crying she silently nodded her head yes.

As he placed a hand on her back and directed her toward a cove of trees, she looked at him. His expression was serious, but at the same time fearful. She knew she was right. Gage would never do anything to hurt her, but she knew he was going to tell her that he was too old for her. He was her uncle and there would never be a chance in hell of there ever being anything between them. Each step felt like a nail in her coffin.

Leaning against a tree, she looked down at the ground. She didn't want to let him see the pain in her eyes and worse yet, she didn't want to start crying before he even had the chance to blow her off.

"Jen...I've been wanting to tell you this for some time, but..." He stopped and swallowed, nervously running a hand through his hair again. "What I'm tryin' to say is..." He took a deep breath.

When she looked up at him, she was surprised to see his face tinged red with embarrassment.

He wiped a hand over his face and took another deep breath. "This is harder than I thought it would be."

"It's okay Joh...Uncle Johnny. I know what you're going to say. I don't think you're right...but I can't change your mind. I just thought...I thought that you and I..." Her voice quivered and she looked away from him. Tears filled her eyes. Sniffling, she wiped an angry hand across her face. She wasn't a baby! She wouldn't stand there and cry like some stupid little girl.

Raising her head, she looked him in the eye. "I know you think I'm nothing more than your little princess, but I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm a woman. Maybe you don't think it's right, but I wanted...I wanted us to at least try..." Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she stood straighter. "I thought that maybe you and I could...I thought...oh hell!"

Gage stood looking at her opened mouthed. Chet had been right. Jennifer did care about him.

"John Gage, maybe you need to grow up. Maybe you need to stop seeing me as little Jenny and start looking at me like Jennifer DeSoto. I'm not a little girl and I'm not a little princess! What have you got to say about that?!"

*******************************

Gage could only stare at Jennifer. He was dumbfounded. This was his little Jenny lambasting him. She had never yelled at him like this before, but then again, they never had this type of thing come up in their relationship together. It had always been him and her agreeing on almost everything, whether it was on the color of crayon used to draw a horse or the flavor of ice cream on their cones.

He felt a stupid grin spread across his face. She was mad as hell at him. She had no idea that he even had feelings for her. Adult feelings. Here she was standing before him, glaring with her lips pursed in anger all because of the emotions that he had elicited within her.

No she wasn't his little princess any more and he sure in the hell wasn't going to complain about it. As far as he was concerned, Uncle Johnny needed to be put on a shelf along with her collection of dolls.

His finally found his voice. "You're right Jen. You're not a little girl. You haven't been for some time now." Clearing his throat, he could feel himself becoming both embarrassed and elated at the same time. She would finally know how he felt. "I've been having problems...about you...being a little girl." Taking a step forward, he looked her straight in the eye. "I haven't exactly been thinking of you as a little girl for a long time."

He could see the look of comprehension coming into her eyes. It was mingled with surprise.

"You...you mean you...like me?"

Taking a deep breath, he decided to take the plunge. If he was going to take the dive, he might as well go deep. "Jen, I more than like you." He nervously shifted the box in his hands. "To be honest...I love you." There. He said it. Now he waited to see how she would respond.

Jennifer stared at him, her mouth opening and closing, but no sounds were coming out. All of the anger that she had focused his way was gone.

"Jen?"

Her voice squeaked. "You 'love' me?"

He knew it! He had made a mistake. A big mistake. He should have taken it slowly, going one step at a time, but in his usual fashion he had to dive right in and damn the consequences. He was almost forty years old and he still couldn't do things slowly like everyone else. He had blown it.

She took a step forward, her eyes locked with his. "You love me?"

He was about to look away and make an excuse and run off. Running from his problems had always worked in the past, but his feet remained rooted to the ground and he found he couldn't look away from her. "Yes."

Before he could react, she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. Her voice was muffled as she tucked her head against his chest. "I love you too."

The emotions ran through him faster than he could process them. Surprise, elation, hope, worry and yes fear. Without even thinking, he hugged her tightly to him, reveling in the feel the way her body molded to his.

The feelings that he had for her were finally able to surface and block out everything else. Gone were the feelings of the love for a little girl. Yes, he still felt protective of her, but now the emotion was joined with the more adult feelings he had harbored for her these past few years.

"Jen, you don't know how long I've felt like this. It's been horrible."

He felt her stiffen in his hold. She raised her head and gave him an unsure look. "Horrible?"

Loosening his hold on her, he smirked. "Come on Jen, think about it. Here I am, your dads best friend, 'your' uncle and I'm having these feelings for you that most people get called a pervert for. I don't know about you, but I've felt like...well I've been feeling kinda' bad about myself. Like I was doing something wrong."

When she smiled up at him, he could feel his heart begin to race. She understood.

Reaching a hand up, she traced the Station 51 emblem on his t-shirt as she spoke. "How do you think I felt? Every time Dad would bring you over, I'd start gawking at you. Do you know what it's like to have seen you all the time, sat in your lap and wished the good night kiss you just gave me would be on the lips and not the cheek? I felt...I don't know...cheap. Trashy. All my friends were dating guys their own age and here I was lusting after my 'Uncle' Johnny."

He gave her a surprised look. He hadn't expected to hear her talk like that. She noticed right away how flustered he appeared.

"Be honest with yourself. I know you. You haven't exactly lived the life of a monk. I've seen the women you've gone out with and I've heard some of the stories about you."

Gage's brow knitted in curiosity. "What stories?!"

She snickered and shook her head no. "No way. I'm not going to tell you what I've heard. Let's just say...you've got a colorful background."

"Well don't believe everything you've heard about me."

She stared into his eyes and smiled. "I won't believe all of the stories, but I'm hoping some of them are true."

He could feel his face burning as he realized that she was insinuating things. His little Jennifer was coming onto him. She wasn't the innocent that she appeared to be.

He felt disappointed on one level, knowing that she was already experienced, but the larger part of him felt relief. He hadn't wanted to go into their relationship knowing that she was still 'pure'. He wouldn't have to worry about the massive amount of guilt he would feel for being the one to take that away from her.

Holding her tighter, he smirked. "Which 'rumors' do you hope are true?"

She gave him a teasing smile, looking quickly around them. He found himself looking around as well. He had forgotten that they were still at the picnic and there was a chance of them being caught like this together.

He relaxed when he saw that no one was near them. She still wore a smile as she looked back up at him. "Well, I've heard you're a pretty good kisser. I know how it feels to get kissed on the cheek by you, but..."

Chuckling, he shook his head in amazement. "Well, I don't know Jen. Sometimes things you hear are all nothing more than talk."

"Then prove them right...or wrong. Let me be the judge."

He watched as her cheeks began to turn a rosy pink. She may have been talking the talk with him, but walking the path was another thing. "I don't know Jen. I think we should take things slow. Real slow."

She frowned at him. "A kiss 'is' slow. It's turtle paced. It's not like I'm asking you to do anything else."

Now it was his turn to grow embarrassed. Biting his tongue, he looked down at her, trying to decide if he should take this step already. It was going to be torture, sheer torture, trying to hold back with her. He had wanted this for so long and now that it had finally happened, he found himself wanting all of her. Now. *Just hold your horse's John. There's no rush. You've waited this long, you can wait a lot longer.*

Without saying anything, he leaned down and brushed his lips lightly across hers. The touch didn't send flashes of electricity down his spine nor did he find himself floating on air. It felt comfortable. Familiar. Like it was something entirely natural and normal for them to be doing.

He looked at her, knowing that this was only one kiss out of a thousand that they would share. He might as well start on number two.

*******************************

"I swear to God, I'm going to get that jerk back. Who in the hell does he think he is anyway?!"

"Just drop it Greg."

"Drop it? Why should I?" Greg fingered his nose and winced. "I think my nose is broken."

"Here, let me look at it."

The two men stopped walking. Greg tilted his head back while his partner checked his nose. "Nah, it's not broken."

Greg fingered his nose again. "He's lucky. If my nose were broken, I'd ..."

"Greg, drop it! You started it, what did you expect the guy to do? Take your shit and be quiet? For one thing that's Gage we're talking about. He doesn't know the meaning of the word quiet. Two, you hit him. Why'd you have to go and do that anyway, the game was over."

Greg ignored him and began walking, then he abruptly stopped. "Helllooo, what have we got here?"

Greg looked through the trees and watched as Gage kissed Jennifer, startled to see her responding in kind. "Man that is gross! What in the hell does she see in that old geezer?!"

Greg looked at his partner who was standing with his mouth open. "Joe...Joe...what's the matter?"

Joe's voice was a whisper. "Holy shit."

Greg gave him a funny look, then turned to look at Gage and Jennifer. The pair were still locked together, their kiss deepening. Greg made a gagging noise and turned back to Joe. "Okay Joe, what's her name? I know she's one of the firemen's daughters. I saw her earlier cleaning up one of the pavilions."

Joe shut his mouth and went to turn away. Greg grabbed him by the arm and held him tightly in place. "Spill it. Who is she?"

Joe looked nervous. "I don't believe it. If I hadn't seen it, I'd never believe it."

"Joe!"

"Okay, but...promise me you won't tell any one."

"Who is she?"

Joe glanced back at Gage and Jennifer who had stopped kissing, but were still holding one another. Running a hand through his hair, Joe lowered his voice. "She's Jennifer DeSoto."

"DeSoto...that name sounds familiar..." Greg's confused face quickly changed to one of disbelief. "No. No way!" He looked back at Gage and Jennifer and smiled coldly. "You have got to be kidding me! The old guy is making time with his partners daughter? That is sick!" His smile grew wider. "I wonder if daddy knows what his best bud is doing?"

Joe flashed him a panicky look. "Don't! You promised..."

"I didn't promise anything. I think dad needs to know what his little girl and partner are up to."

"Greg, don't go and start trouble. We don't know if they're seeing each other."

Greg began walking back up the hill toward the pavilion where the families of Station 51 were gathered. He snorted and laughed. "They may not be seeing each other, but ten to one, I bet that old guy is banging her."

Joe made a disgusted face at him. "Gage would never do something like that."

"Oh yeah? What did you just see? I bet he had his tongue so far down her throat he could touch her tonsils."

"Greg, don't do this."

"Hey, it's not my fault. Maybe that old dork down there should think twice about hitting people he doesn't know. You never know what that person might do to get back at you."

Greg continued walking while Joe stopped and watched his retreating figure. One part of him wanted to watch what was going to happen, while another part was scared to death at what he would see. It was almost like going on a run. You never knew what could be waiting for you.

He walked slowly, following Greg. He had to see how DeSoto reacted to the news. And big news it was.

*******************************

"Joanne, have you seen Jennifer? It's almost time to do the cake and presents."

Joanne looked up from the table that she was clearing. She didn't know what to say. She had seen Jennifer walk down the hill and then she had watched Gage go in the same direction that she did. There was something going on between the two of them. She had watched her daughter all day. There was no mistaking that look in her eyes. She had also made a point of watching Gage as well. He was acting...weird? No, not weird. Cagey. Like he was hiding something.

She sighed and looked at the napkins in her hand. It was strange in a way. She had watched her daughter grow up from a little girl into a beautiful young woman. She had also watched Gage grow in a sense. He was only a year or two older than Jennifer was now when Roy had first introduced him to the family. Nothing more than a boy in man's clothing. Now, for some reason, she had the niggling thought that the reasons for them both acting the way they were, was because of their feelings for each other. Feeling that she knew weren't those of a niece for her uncle and visa versa.

She should have been disgusted by what she was seeing happen, but she knew she couldn't stop it. To be honest with herself, she had seen it coming for years.

She had caught her daughter mooning over the dark haired paramedic, turning down date after date. No one was ever good enough and she knew it was because they weren't him.

Roy's voice cut into her thoughts. "Honey?"

She looked up at Roy and smiled. "I'm sorry. I was thinking."

"About what?"

Sitting down at a picnic table, she patted the space beside her. Sitting next to her, Roy looked expectantly at her.

Joanne felt guilty. It was like she was betraying her daughter, but she figured she'd better prepare her husband for the possibility of a shock. She took a deep breath. "Do you remember Beth?"

Roy gave her a confused look. "Huh?"

"Beth. Johnny's girlfriend last year...the one he almost married?"

Roy still looked confused. "Yes."

Joanne set the napkins down on the table and began to twist nervously at her wedding band.

"Do you remember the fund raiser at the station? Where she yelled at Jennifer."

Roy let out a breath. "Boy do I. I thought she and Jennifer were going to hit one another."

"Think really hard Roy. Do you remember how Johnny reacted to all of it?" Joanne looked at Roy, willing him to remember and some how put two and two together so she wouldn't have to say what she thought.

Roy's brow knitted in concentration. "Well...Beth yelled at Jennifer...called her stupid or something like that. I was just about to ask Johnny to take Beth around front to calm her down when..." Roy's eyes widened slightly. "...he grabbed Beth by the arm and yelled at her."

Roy stared off into space.

Joanne licked her lips and took another deep breath. "The next day he said Beth was history. All because she yelled at Jennifer."

Roy gave her an uncomfortable look. "So what has this got to do with where Jennifer is?"

Joanne reached over and took one of his hands in hers. "Roy, I think...I'm not sure, but I think Jennifer and Johnny...they might be involved in some way."

Roy yanked his hand from her grasp and stood up. He began to pace back and forth as he rubbed a hand over his head. He stopped pacing and looked down at her.

"Are you sure?"

"No...it's just little things...the way they look at each other."

Roy smiled at that. "Joanne, Jennifer and Johnny are always teasing each other."

"I know that, but it's different. She doesn't look at him like he's her uncle, she looks at him like a man...someone she wants." She laughed and shook her head. "And you know Johnny. What ever his little princess wants, she gets."

Roy sighed and sat down beside Joanne and took her hand in his. "I think you've been watching too many soap operas."

She frowned at him and pulled her hand from his. "I'm not imaging things Roy. Jennifer loves him."

"Of course she loves him. He's been there for her since she was almost a baby. Be for real Joanne, Johnny doesn't think that way about Jennifer. He wouldn't do that."

She gave him a small smile. "Maybe you're right, but I think I'm going to have a talk with Jennifer about it."

Roy smiled at her. "Go ahead and do that mom."

Leaning forward he gave Joanne a quick kiss and stood up. "I think I'll go and find her. I'd like to do the cake and presents while everyone is here. I know Cap and Chet have to leave early."

Joanne looked past Roy and watched a young man walk toward them. He was the same one that had started the fight with Gage after the game. "Roy..." She nodded over his shoulder and he turned around to face Greg as he walked up and stood before him.

Roy gave him an uneasy look. There was something about the mans body language that didn't bode well for him.

"Hi Mr. DeSoto."

Roy frowned. "Can I help you?"

Greg smiled thinly. "No, but I think I can help you. I couldn't help but overhear that you were looking for your daughter." Greg's smile was almost reptilian. "I know where she is."

Roy felt his gut tightening. "And where would that be?"

"She's with your 'partner'."

Roy knew something was wrong. Greg wasn't being nice or helpful, he was enjoying telling him this on some bizarre level. "She's with Johnny?"

"Uh huh. Down the hill. I didn't know your partner was dating your daughter. Isn't he a little old for her?"

Roy narrowed his eyes at Greg, his heart began to race. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

Greg snorted. "Oh, I guess he didn't tell you huh? Well your partner is down there making out with your daughter. Maybe you should go and talk to him about it."

Roy stood perfectly still, not moving, not saying a word. His brain was still trying to process the idea that his little girl, his baby, was involved with Gage. His partner...his best friend...was fooling around with his daughter? The man that he trusted with his life. The man he left his children with when he and Joanne had gone on weekend get-a-ways. It had to be a joke. No, a lie. The smiling face of Greg set him in motion.

Jumping forward, Roy popped Greg in the nose sending him falling back to the ground screaming in pain. He then jumped on top of the hapless fireman and proceeded to pound him in the face and ribs. The next thing he knew, he was being pulled off of Greg. Marco and Mike held him tightly while Cap blocked him from jumping forward again.

"Roy, calm down!"

Roy stared back at Cap in disbelief. "Calm down?! Did you hear what he said?!"

Cap moved closer to him. "I'll take care of this. You need to go and cool off. Do you understand me, DeSoto?"

Roy took a deep breath and saw that Cap was dead serious and to make matters worse, he actually seemed pissed off. Years of following orders kicked in. "Right Cap."

Marco and Mike's grips loosened, but they didn't let him go. Turning they walked to another section of the pavilion.

*******************************

Breaking the kiss, Gage held Jennifer to him, not wanting to let go. It was a dream. It had to be. Nothing in his life ever went right. The idea that Jennifer loved him was incomprehensible. The proof that she did was in her touch, the way she now looked at him. She loved him.

She smiled and gave him a funny look. "What are you thinking about?"

"You. I can't believe this is real."

"Well it is."

"Yeah, I know, but I still can't believe it."

Looking around, he slowly released her. "I think we should be getting back to the picnic. I don't want anyone catching us and running back to your dad and telling on us."

Jennifer giggled and grabbed him by the hand. "Johnny, you worry way too much."

"Uh huh. What would you rather have happen? Us telling him or someone else going up and telling him?"

Jennifer frowned. "Neither actually. He's not going to be happy either way."

Biting at her lower lip, she squeezed his hand. "Can't we keep this to ourselves for a while?"

"Nooooo! No way! I'm not going to go and sneak around behind his back. That wouldn't be right. You know it and I know it."

"Yeah, I do know it, but I'd like to at least enjoy this. You know Dad's not going to be happy and Mom...I don't know how she's going to react."

Gage frowned. "Geez, I hadn't even thought about her."

He looked down at the present in the hand. "Before we go up...happy birthday Jen."

Jennifer let go of his hand and took the small box from him. "What is it?"

"Open it and find out." Gage smiled as he watched her take the wrapping off of the box. He had thought a lot about what to buy her. Something adult. Something to express how he really felt about her, but not exactly screaming out romance. It was a gift marking the passage of time. This gift was one that would mark the end of innocence. No more toys or clothes for his little princess.

Opening the box, Jennifer was speechless. Looking up at Gage, she shook her head no. "I can't take this."

His smile faded. "Why not?"

Snapping the lid shut, she held it out to him. "I know what you make. Did you forget that Dad has the same job as you? Dad can't afford to buy Mom something like this so I know you can't."

He ignored the box that she was holding out to him. "Jen, I think you keep forgetting that I'm not your Dad."

She smiled slightly and he continued speaking.

"Your dad works overtime to pay for things like...let's see." Gage looked up at the sky and began ticking things off on his fingers. "College, college books, tuition, the new hot water heater we installed last week, the vacation to Yellowstone..."

He looked back at her. "I don't have those type of bills. What I make in overtime is marked for special things."

He took the box from her and opened it up. Tossing the box to the ground, he undid the clasp and moved behind her. Brushing her long blonde hair aside, he reached around and placed the gold necklace around her neck, letting his fingers trail over her smooth skin. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close to him. "Happy birthday Jen."

Leaning back against him, Jennifer fingered the diamond hanging from the thin gold necklace. It felt weird. She had never received a gift like this. Then again, no one had ever really looked at her like she was an adult. The idea that Gage thought of her this way made the moment more special than it would have been. Everything was changing. Her life wasn't ever going to be the same again. Twisting around in his arms, she smiled up at him as she drew him down for another kiss.

*******************************

Chris took a sip of beer from the cup in his hand and looked across the pavilion. "Hey Chet, isn't that Greg Patterson?"

Chet looked up from his son whose face he was wiping off. "Donny, why don't you go and see if Mommy has Jennifer's present."

"Okay Dad!"

Chet watched his youngest run off and then stood up next to Chris and frowned. "Yeah, that's him. I wonder what he wants?"

Chet strained to hear what Greg was saying, but they were too far away. When DeSoto decked Greg, he thought he was going to die. Chris jumped forward to go and help his father. Chet quickly grabbed him.

"Let me go!"

Chet held Chris tightly. "No way buddy. Your dad doesn't need your help." Chet smiled as he watched what happened. It looked like Greg was picking on the wrong people today.

When Chris settled down, Chet let him go, receiving a glare from the younger man. "Why'd you do that? What if Greg had hurt dad?"

"Chris...you wouldn't have helped. I know you and your temper."

Chris rolled his eyes, but then smiled. "I can't help it if people don't know when they're wrong."

Chet shook his head. "Are you sure you're not John's kid?"

Chris laughed. It was a running joke in the family about Gage being Chris's father due to their similar temperaments. Neither one had any problems voicing their opinions.

Chet nodded over to where Roy, Joanne, Marco and Mike now stood. "How about we go over and see what all the fuss was about."

Chris needed no further prompting and quickly made his way over to them. "Dad, what's going on?"

Roy looked at Chris and immediately felt embarrassed. Here he was caught by his own son brawling like some teenager on a hormone overload. After all of his lectures to Chris on maintaining his temper, 'he' was the one caught fighting.

Chet looked expectantly at Roy and smiled. "Yeah Roy. What's got you so hot under the collar that you'd face a month of latrine duty?"

Roy sagged a little more. He would still have to deal with Cap. He gestured weakly at Greg who was now being checked out by Joe. "That kid...he said that Johnny and Jennifer..."

Roy could feel the anger welling up inside of him again, but it was mixed with dread. He tried to be tactful in his explanation. "He said that they're...seeing each other."

Chris burst out laughing and looked over at Greg's bloodied form, then back at his father. "You're kidding? He thinks Uncle Johnny and Jenny are messing around? That's gross!"

Chet smiled painfully. Things weren't going the way they should have. Everything was slowly becoming a mess. Sighing inwardly he knew why. Anything associated with Gage never went right. The man's life was a roller coaster ride that never ended.

Roy smiled back at Chris as Marco and Mike joined in with Chris's laughter. Marco smirked. "No wonder you punched him."

Mike was laughing, but he gave Chet a curious look. Chet quickly nodded his head yes, effectively wiping the smile from Mike's face. Chet then gave him another look, this time silently begging him to keep quiet.

Mike nudged Marco and nodded his head at Chet. Roy wiped a hand over his face. He couldn't believe what a disaster this day was turning out to be.

Joanne kept silent while the men talked, preferring to keep her thoughts to herself. She had been right. Greg wasn't lying when he had told Roy that he had found Gage with Jennifer. Deep in her heart, her mother's intuition had been confirmed by Greg's statements.

She pursed her lips and continued patting at Roy's bloodied knuckles with a damp towel. She'd let them deny it. She'd find Jennifer and Johnny and ask them to tell the truth.

*******************************

As they walked side by side up the hill, Gage could feel his throat constricting. The butterflies that had been tumbling about in his stomach had turned into bats. With each step the nausea built. He knew exactly what was going to happen when he and Jennifer told Roy and Joanne about the change in their relationship. All hell was going to break loose. He wasn't prepared for this. No matter how much he had tried to convince himself that things would be okay he knew they wouldn't. He wasn't ready to lose Roy's friendship.

He remembered what his life had been like when he had first come to Los Angeles. He had drifted about, trying to find his place, but with no family or really close friends it had been difficult. When Roy had taken him under his wing and basically made him a part of his family things had changed. He had the structure and stability that had been missing from his life for so long.

Roy became like a brother to him and as much as he hated admitting it to himself, in an odd way he had also assumed something of a father figure as well. His own family life wasn't anything like the DeSoto's. It was foreign to him, but it had only taken a few picnics and meals with them to realize just how wonderful this kind of life could be. He was terrified of losing it.

His hand instinctively reached out for Jennifer's and he gripped it tightly. He felt her squeeze his hand back.

She looked up at him, her expression guarded. "You're nervous?"

"Boy am I ever. Roy is gonna' freak, then he'll kill me."

"Oh come on Johnny, Dad's not that bad."

He let go of her hand and stopped walking. Placing his hands on hips, he looked down at her. "Jen, just how do you think he's gonna' react?"

Placing a hand on his chest, his voice rose a fraction. "He trusts me! To him, us being together isn't very trusting. I'll bet you he's going to accuse me of corrupting you or something like that. Your mom's probably going to think I molested you and the guys...man, they're gonna' ride me worse than a claimer in a stakes race!"

Jennifer looked at Gage, feeling like everything was going to be yanked away from her. He was already having second thoughts. Maybe what he felt for her wasn't the same kind of love that she felt for him. Maybe she wasn't worth it. Her voice warbled as she spoke, her eyes downcast. "I'll...I'll understand if you don't want to tell them. No one has to know. We can pretend that this...that we never..." She couldn't continue. All she wanted to do was cry.

Gage felt a good portion of his nervousness disappear as he listened to Jennifer speak. It was replaced with guilt as he watched her practically shrink within herself. She was willing to hide her feelings for him so he wouldn't have to face Roy. He knew he couldn't do it. Now that they both knew how they felt about one another there could be no going back to being Uncle Johnny and little Jennifer.

"Aw come on Jen, you know I can't do that. 'We' can't do that." He looked around to make sure no one was watching them or were in hearing distance. Taking her hands in his, he lowered his voice. "I love you, Jennifer DeSoto and no matter what happens, that's not going to change." He wanted to pull her into his embrace and kiss the sadness from her, but he also wasn't an idiot. Until their relationship was out in the open, none of that could happen. Running a thumb over the back of her hand, he moved away from her.

"Come on. Let's go break the news to them."

She wrapped her arms around herself, still unsure. "I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't. I know how much you love Dad and if he hates you because of all this..."

"Jen, we'll deal with it. I guess sooner or later he'll get use to it. That's what I'm hoping. Let's go."

She could see that he was serious. She knew Gage inside and out and there was one thing she had discovered about him a long time ago. He was incapable of lying. He couldn't do it to save his life and if he tried, he'd get so flustered that everyone knew he wasn't telling the truth. He loved her and things would work out eventually.

Giving him a weak smile, she resisted the urge to take his hand. All she wanted was for this to be over and done with so she didn't have to hide how she felt any more. To be able to touch him, kiss him, any time she wanted, that's what she had been waiting for. "Okay...I'm ready if you are."

They resumed walking up the hill, side by side, their hands occasionally brushing together as they made their way up to the pavilion. Come hell or high water, it was time to face the music.

*******************************

Joanne watched them entering the pavilion together. There was no doubt in her mind that they were involved in some way. They were too close together, too connected. Her eyes locked onto the diamond that sparkled at Jennifer's throat. She knew instantly that it was from Gage. That wasn't a gift that an uncle gave to a favored niece, it was something that a man gave to a woman who he loved.

She took a long, hard look at her daughter, feeling the sadness building within her as she did. Gone was the small, delicate infant that she had held in her arms so long ago. Gone was the little girl with pigtails, ribbons and braces. In their place was a young woman, confident, strong and ready to step out into the world and make a home of her own. Swallowing back the tears at the loss of her baby, Joanne quickly spoke to the group of men.

"I don't want anyone saying anything to them. Roy and I will discuss this in private with them. Do all of you understand me?"

Five heads nodded slowly yes, even though she knew they wanted to start pounding the two unsuspecting people with questions as they approached them.

Stepping forward to greet them, Joanne began the process of fixing something before it had a chance to be broken. She loved her family and wanted to keep it together at all cost.

"We were looking for you, Jennifer. It's time for your cake and ice cream."

Jennifer's face broke into a timid smile. She knew something was wrong by the way everyone was standing around the picnic table looking at them. "Chocolate ice cream?"

"Yes, with rainbow sprinkles."

*******************************

Joanne watched as the men openly stared at Gage and Jennifer. All of them except for Chet that is. She caught his eye and raised an eyebrow at him. When he quickly looked away, she knew that he knew what was going on. Mike and Marco seemed to know something was up as well. Letting her gaze settle on Chris, she could see that he was angry. He was staring at Gage and his sister and she knew he saw the same things that she did.

She looked lastly at Roy and almost started laughing. He looked dazed. He never did react very well to surprises and this was most definitely a major shock to his system.

She watched as he looked the pair over, then his eyes settled on the diamond necklace. She saw his brow nit in confusion, his lips formed a thin line. He was finally putting two and two together and it wasn't what he liked. She'd have to make sure he didn't ruin things today. Talking with them in private was the only way to salvage anything.

*******************************

Jennifer felt edgy. She knew something was wrong, but couldn't place what it was. As the cake was brought out and set before her, she tried to forget for a moment that things were different. Looking at the cake, she smiled. It was white with pink flowers and lettering. The same way her cake had been decorated for years. She had always insisted on having a "girlie cake" as she called it.

Twenty-one candles burned brightly, covering a large portion of the cake. She looked around at the faces as they began singing to her. For a few minutes she was transported back in time. She forgot everything. She was twelve again, her mom and dad were young and all was safe and right with the world.

She sought him out, giving Gage a bright smile that quickly turned to laughter as he made a goofy face at her. That was one of a thousand things that she loved about him. He always made her smile or laugh.

She didn't look away from him, her smile returned, yet it was tinged with other emotions. He had been there for her for so long that she couldn't ever imagine her life without him. Next to her parents and brother, there was no one else in her life that could fill a place in her heart like he did. It wasn't the things he had done for her or the gifts that he would always buy her, it was him. The way he treated her. She knew that he would be the one person in her life that she could always depend on.

As the group finished singing, she felt her mother's hands rest on her shoulders. "Make a wish Jennifer."

Closing her eyes, she wished that everyone would accept her relationship with Gage. It had to have been the simplest wish that she had ever made, but it was one that she knew might be the most difficult one to grant.

Opening her eyes, she took a deep breath and blew the candles out, groaning when they all relit. Everyone turned to look at Chet who smiled innocently. "The Phantom says happy birthday Jennifer."

She smirked at him. "Well you tell the 'Phantom' thank you, but now my wish won't come true."

Chet's youngest jumped in. "The Phantom didn't do it, you did daddy!"

Chet quickly grabbed his son and placed a hand over his mouth. "Pay no attention to the boy, the Phantom did it."

*******************************

Joanne cut a large slice of cake and scooped out two dollops of ice cream onto a plate and held them out to Gage. "Johnny, after the picnic, could you come back to the house for a bit?"

He took the plate from her, feeling a tingle go down his spine. He could tell her question was more like a request. An order. She knew. When he and Jennifer had come into the pavilion, he knew that they all knew some how about him and Jennifer. "Sure Joanne."

"Good. Roy and I have a few things we want to talk to you about."

He toyed with the cake on his plate. "No problem, it's not like I have a ton of stuff to do at home."

Making his way over to where Jennifer stood, he ate some of the cake. It felt like dry sand as he swallowed it. He kept his voice low, trying to act casual. "Your mom wants me to come over after the picnic so she and Roy can 'talk' to me about something."

Jennifer choked on the ice cream she was eating, then quickly swallowed it. "You're kidding? They know? How did they find out, I haven't told anyone?"

"Maybe Chet slipped up and said something."

Jennifer shook her head no. "I think maybe we should go and ask Chet what he knows. He was here the entire time we were...you know."

Her cheeks tinged a light pink and Gage smiled. If she blushed that easily just talking about their kissing, he couldn't wait to get her alone so that he could show her 'exactly' how he felt.

He met her gaze, holding it he stared intently into her eyes causing her blush to turn a deeper shade. She giggled and whispered to him. "Johnny, knock it off! If someone catches you, we'll be in deep...trouble."

He quickly looked away from her and cleared his throat. "Is it me or is it getting hot in here."

"It's you and you'd better stop it."

Giving her a teasing smile, he slowly backed away. "I think I'll go and talk to Chet for a few minutes to see what's going on."

She smiled back at him. "You do that."

As he turned and walked away from her, she couldn't help but stare at his retreating figure. It was hard to believe that he was finally going to be hers. The sooner this day was over with, the sooner they could have their little talk with her parents. Maybe no one would approve of them being together, but she couldn't hold back any longer. All she wanted to do is be with him, hold him and kiss him. Among other things.

She felt the heat returning to her face as she watched him from across the pavilion. He would be really surprised to find that she had waited for him in more ways than one.

Fingering the diamond at her throat, she knew that her gift would be more precious than the stone around her neck. Maybe he had no idea that she was still a virgin. She hoped he didn't know. That way the moment would be something that he would never forget.

*******************************

With a sense of impending doom, Gage followed the DeSoto's car back to their house. He had talked to Chet and found out everything that had happened while he and Jennifer were finding out about their true feelings for one another.

Tightly gripping the steering wheel of the Rover, he tried to get the image out of his mind of Roy decking Greg and then jumping on him. All he kept picturing was Roy doing the same thing to him in a few minutes.

It wasn't that he was afraid of getting into an altercation. He had been in numerous fights in his life and no matter how many times he had been beaten, he never backed down from anyone. Which unfortunately ended up with him going to the hospital or sporting some wicked cuts and bruises.

The problem was this was Roy, his best friend and partner. He wouldn't fight him and that meant getting his face bashed in, which he liked even less.

Letting out the breath that he had been holding, he turned the radio on. He needed to relax. An old love song came on and he quickly changed it to an all sports station. This is what had caused all of the problems today. Love. Why couldn't he have fallen madly in love with one of the nurses at Rampart? Why not with one of the myriad of women he had met through the years? Why in the hell did he have to fall in love with Jennifer DeSoto?

Deep inside he knew the answer to his questions. It was from knowing her for so long. He had watched her grow from a child to the woman that she was today. It was like he had been waiting for her to catch up to him so that they could finally be together. Call it fate, kismet, whatever, he knew that this was right. He knew they were meant for each other and no one else.

Pulling in front of the DeSoto's home, he turned the ignition off and got out of the Rover like he had on numerous occasions through the years. Making his way up to the front door, he wondered if this would be the last time that he would be welcome here. Would Roy and Joanne approve of his and Jennifer's new found relationship? He highly doubted it.

He stood for a moment on the front step. Would they even allow Jennifer to be with him? She still lived at home and was subject to their rules. She had only recently begun working in the accounting department at Rampart. There was no way she could afford to live on her own and he knew that her living with him wasn't an option. If he asked her, which he wouldn't, he knew that any chance of him and Roy reconciling their differences would never happen.

Taking another deep breath, he knocked lightly on the door before stepping inside. Setting his keys on the small table in the foyer, he walked into the living room.

Jennifer walked in from the kitchen looking tense and upset. He gave her what he hoped was a brave smile. He was just as afraid of what would happen in the next few minutes as she was. She gave him a weak smile in return, then quickly looked away as Roy and Joanne entered the room.

Joanne motioned at the couch. "Sit down Johnny."

Jennifer turned in the direction of the stairs and Joanne stopped her. "This concerns you too Jennifer. Please sit."

Jennifer walked slowly over to Gage and sat down next to him. Roy's eyes narrowed as he saw how close they sat by one another. He almost winced as he watched her reach out to take Gage's hand in hers, then she quickly pulled it away from him and tucked her hands nervously in her lap. He couldn't take it. Everything that Greg had said was true. It wasn't a lie. Gage was involved with his daughter.

Leaning forward, Roy calmly folded his hands in front of him. "So John, how long has this been going on?"

Joanne placed a hand on Roy's arm, stopping him from talking. She looked at Gage and Jennifer. She tried to smile, but she found she couldn't. None of this should be happening. Not to her daughter, not to her family.

This was the stuff of ugly neighborhood gossip. She knew that what was happening would spread quickly, bringing shame to her and everyone involved. It wasn't right, but she also knew there was no way to stop it. It would have to play itself out and she knew the results would leave several people hurt for a long time.

Adjusting the material of her skirt around her legs, she tried to sound normal, casual. "Johnny...Jennifer. We heard some things today at the picnic. Things that quite frankly surprised your father and I." She paused, trying to keep her anger in check as she looked directly at Gage. This was all his fault. He was the adult. He should have never even approached Jennifer. She had trusted him with her baby and look what he did.

She sat up straighter. She wasn't about to let him think he could do this without knowing how she and Roy felt. "How long have you and Jennifer been...how long have you..." As much as she wanted to say it, the words wouldn't come out. Her mouth was dry and she felt like she was going to throw up. How could Gage sit across from her and be so calm after all that he had done? He wasn't who she thought he was.

Roy clasped and unclasped his hands, his eyes staring directly into Gage's. "What Joanne is trying to ask you John, is how long have you been screwing Jennifer?" He said it coldly, but without any anger in his expression. It was like he was acting on auto pilot. He expected they would deny everything, then back pedal and admit their guilt. He sat calmly waiting for their denials.

Jennifer jumped up from the couch and yelled at them. "What?! You think...you think Johnny and I have been...we've never done anything!"

Gage stood up and took her by the hand. "Sit down Jen."

She yanked her hand away from him. "How can you be so calm! Do you know what they're thinking?!"

He nodded his head yes. "If I were them, I'd be thinking the exact same thing." He took her hand and sat, gently pulling her down to sit beside him. He didn't let go of her hand. He needed to touch her, draw some type of strength from her.

He looked at the two figures sitting across the room from them. He never wanted to hurt anyone, but for him to have what he wanted, he knew there would be some difficult times ahead. He was use to it though. His entire life had been filled with struggles, but he had always held on and made the things he wanted come true. He may have had to fight and claw his way toward those dreams, but in the end it was always worth it. Being with Jennifer would be worth anything to him at this point in his life.

"Roy...Jo..." He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know what you've heard or what you're thinking, but nothing like that has ever happened between us. We..." He took a deep breath trying to collect his thoughts. "Jen didn't know how I felt about her until today."

Jennifer gently squeezed his hand. "He's telling the truth. I thought he'd never get past me being his 'little princess'." She gave her parents a pleading look. "You have to understand how we feel. Do you know how long I've waited for him to see me as an adult? Do you know what it's been like for me these past few years having to watch him with all those other women?"

Roy snorted and shook his head. "And that's exactly why you shouldn't be with him." Roy gave Gage a hard look. "Do you want to know what's going to happen Jennifer? He'll use you, get bored and then move on to the next notch in the bed post. Is that what you've been dreaming about? Is that what you want?" Roy's voice began to rise. "Damn it John, she's a kid! Couldn't you stick with the nurses at Rampart? It's not like there's ever been a shortage of them. If you wanted something younger why didn't you go for the candy stripers instead of 'my' daughter?"

Gage felt his own control beginning to slip. They weren't going to understand unless he made them see how he felt. Why he was doing this. He pulled his hand from Jennifer, gesturing wildly at Roy. "Don't you think I've tried? Don't you think I've looked enough to know that she's who I want to be with?"

Roy's face colored and his voice grew louder as well. "How in the hell do you know Jennifer's 'the one'?! Fine. You said she and you hadn't told each other how you felt until today. If that's true then how can you be so God damn sure that she's the one. I've heard you say that so many times it's like a broken record. Hell, you were going to get married to Beth last year, what about her?! She was 'the one' for a while and then you got tired of her and dropped her like you did all the others. Face it Gage, you have no idea what you're doing and I won't let you ruin Jennifer's life by making her one of your conquests."

Gage knew it was a losing battle. How could he explain to them how he felt without sounding like an idiot? Everything that Roy was accusing him of was true. He had been through most of the female population at Rampart and then some. What was he supposed to do? Give up and go without companionship? Live his life in a shell? Now that he finally could take a chance with Jennifer, he hoped all of that would change.

Running a hand wearily through his hair he stood up. "Look...I don't know what to tell you. All I know is I do care for Jen. I'm not going to hurt her, you have my word."

Roy looked at him and smirked. "I hate to break it to you, John, but right now your word doesn't exactly mean much to me. I trusted you. You were my friend and look what you've done."

Gage felt his blood run cold. The words he didn't want to hear were spoken. You 'were' my friend. He had lost one of the things that he valued the most in his life.

"I'm sorry you feel that way Roy. I never meant for this to happen, but it did. I can't help the way I feel."

Jennifer stood up beside him. "Honestly Dad...nothing has ever happened. All I'm asking is for you to at least give us a chance."

Roy smiled humorlessly. "Give you a chance huh? Fine. You want to see him, that's your business." He looked straight at Gage. "I don't want you coming back here."

Joanne nodded her head in agreement, her expression sad. "I think it's best Johnny. I don't want to have to explain to the neighbors what's going on." She looked pointedly at Jennifer. "I hope you know what you're doing Jennifer. This isn't some little summer break fling. Too many people are involved in this and are getting hurt."

Jennifer's lips thinned, her expression hardening. She couldn't believe her parents were being so narrow minded. "Fine. As soon as I find someone to room with, I'll move out. That way you and Dad won't have to be embarrassed by me."

"I'm not embarrassed Jenni..."

"Oh yeah?! Then how come all you're worried about is what the neighbors will say? How come you're going to cut Johnny out of your lives like he never existed?" Jennifer looked at Roy. "I thought you were his friend Dad. I thought what you two shared went deeper than friendship."

Roy frowned, his expression growing sad. "I did too Jennifer, but apparently he didn't feel the same way. If he did, he would have left you alone."

Gage looked from Jennifer to the two figures sitting across the room. He knew that if he stayed any longer things would soon get out of hand. He hadn't reached the point where he was so angry that he would begin to say things that he would regret later. It would be safer to let things cool down before trying to discuss this any further. Maybe after a time, they would see things differently. Maybe if they had a chance to see that he and Jennifer were good for one another, they would accept their relationship.

Looking at his watch, Gage sighed. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. I'm working overtime at Station 19 tomorrow afternoon and I'd like to get some sleep."

Roy smirked. "Yeah, it's just like you to start something and not finish it. You go ahead then. Just don't come back here, do you understand?"

"Yes, I do." Giving Roy one last look, he turned away and moved to the door.

As Jennifer followed him, Roy yelled at her. "Just where do you think you're going young lady?"

She looked over her shoulder and frowned. "I'm going to go and say good night if you don't mind." Turning away from the angry scowl that he threw at her, Jennifer pushed Gage forward and through the door, not giving him the chance to talk her out of following him.

As soon as they stepped out of the house into the balmy night air, she took his hand in hers, walking slowly down to the Rover parked at the front curb. She could feel the sadness emanating from him. She knew what he had given up for her.

He and her father had been virtually inseparable since the beginning of the paramedic program. They were the best working partners in L.A. and more than that, they were brothers outside of work. Two men so vastly different, but still like peas in a pod.

As he turned and leaned against the Rover, she watched him stare back at the house.

"I'm sorry Johnny. This is all my fault."

Taking her hands in his, he gave her a small smile. "It's no ones fault Jen. We can't help how we feel." He squeezed her hands and pulled her to him. "It may not seem like it, but we did the right thing. I'd rather have taken this chance and found out how you feel than to sit back and never know."

Her reply was despondent. "Yeah, I know, but you and Dad...things won't be the same." Her eyes widened slightly. "How will you and Dad handle this at work? He's not going to make you transfer is he?"

Gage chuckled. "Ya' know Jen, your dad doesn't have that much pull. I won't have to leave my job unless I choose to." He hugged her to his chest, his voice soft, hopeful. "Things will work out Jen, you'll see. They always do." Leaning down, he placed a light kiss on her lips, reveling in the softness of her.

Moving away, he smiled at her again. "Can I call you tomorrow?"

She smiled back at him, feeling like she was back in high school. "Sure. I mean Dad didn't say anything about you not calling me. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Jumping up, she kissed him quickly on the lips before backing away. She stood by the curb, watching him get in the Rover. He gave her a small wave before starting the vehicle and driving away into the night.

With a sigh, she turned and made her way back to the house. Walking in, she locked the front door. Joanne and Roy weren't in the living room any longer.

Making her way upstairs, she paused by her parents bedroom door, listening to their heated whispers. She cursed under her breath. Why couldn't her parents yell like everyone else's. Now she would never know what they were thinking.

Going to her bedroom, she grabbed her diary from the roll top dresser and flopped on the bed. She had a lot to write down, so she might as well get started while the days events were fresh in her minds eye.

*******************************

The loud music jolted him awake. Reaching out, Gage slapped the clock radio, effectively silencing the song that blared from it. Opening his eyes, he stared up at the ceiling, going over all of the things that had happened the previous day.

After leaving the DeSoto's, he had come home and lain in bed for over two hours, rehashing exactly the same things that he was thinking of now. He felt physically tired, but emotionally charged. There were so many feelings churning within him that it was hard to keep track of them all. Something wonderful, yet terrifying had happened and he knew his life would never be the same again because of it.

Throwing back the covers, he made his way to the bathroom. As he showered, he thought of what life would be like for the next few weeks. Work would be like a circus, with him being the center attraction. He knew there would be whispers, malicious gossip, but he didn't care. He'd had these things happen to him before. He could deal with them.

He smiled as he thought of Jennifer. There was so much of his life that he wanted to share with her. Simple things, like taking her hiking to hidden places that he'd never shown anyone before. Places where they could be alone and get to really know one another without interruption or interference.

Toweling off, he made his way back to the bedroom, peeled off the plastic wrapping covering a clean uniform and began dressing. He wondered what it would be like with her. Would he freak out when it finally came down to that moment? Would she freak? His expression grew thoughtful. How experienced was she? He had never really met anyone she had dated. He stopped buttoning his shirt. Come to think of it, he never really saw her with a boyfriend.

Shaking his head, he chided himself for being ridiculous. He had taken pictures of her when she had gone to the senior prom. That meant she had dated. It bothered him that he couldn't remember the boys name. At the time he really hadn't cared who she had been with. All he could remember was the shame and the guilt he had felt for wishing that she wasn't with the boy. That it was him who had his arms wrapped around her waist, making her smile happily for the camera.

As he continued dressing, he wondered if that boy had been the one to take her innocence. If it hadn't been him, was it someone she had loved or some horny jerk who had managed to sweet talk her with promises of love? Smirking, he remembered his first time. He had only been sixteen and she had been to him, a wiser old woman of eighteen.

They had begun by making out in the back of a pickup truck behind the a barn on her family's ranch. That was nothing new, but by the end of the evening it ended up being a mixture of fumbling embarrassment and animal like instinct when they had moved from groping to sex. At first he hadn't understood what she had wanted, but when she had jammed her hand down the front of his jeans, there was no mistaking her intent. Being a normal hormone charged teenage boy, he hadn't said no. If anything he had jumped at the opportunity to finally do it.

As he tucked his shirt into his pants, he hoped that it hadn't been like that for Jennifer. She deserved better than to have her virginity taken from her in the back seat of a car. Grabbing the keys to the Rover, he exited the house and began the drive into the city to begin his shift at Station 19, hoping that even with all of the changes, the day would go smoothly.

 

*******************************

Walking into the locker room, Gage noticed it. The silence. It was as if a mute switch had been thrown the minute he had set foot in the room. Walking past the two firemen sitting silently on the benches in front of their lockers, he quickly placed his things in a spare locker. He then sought out his partner for the day. Smiling, he greeted the other paramedic. "Hey Donny, how're ya' doing?" His smile faded as he received a cold look in return.

"Gage." The curt nod and lack of emotion in the mans voice cut through him like a knife. Donny usually greeted him with a bright smile and jokes. He was a great guy to work with.

He tried to act as if he didn't know what was going on. That things were still normal. "What's up?"

Donny snorted. "You have to ask?"

Placing his hands in his pockets, Gage looked straight into his eyes. "Yeah, I do."

Donny looked back at him as if he were sizing him up. "Look Gage, how about we both just do the shift and get it over with."

Gage held his tongue. He knew it, had expected it, but having it done to him was worse than he had thought it would be. The cold shoulders had begun.

Looking down at the floor, he quickly collected his thoughts. Should he try and explain what was really going on or should he just do what Donny had requested? Get through the day and get lost. He chose the easier one. It wouldn't do any good to start the day off with an argument. Maybe he could explain things as the day wore on. Maybe he could slowly win people over by not pounding them in the head with the facts.

Looking back up, he shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, whatever."

Moving past Donny, he made his way to the squad in the bay. Angrily yanking open the compartments, he took out the drug box and equipment, methodically checking it all. He fidgeted nervously, dying to go and grab a cup of coffee, but loathing the idea of walking into the kitchen and facing all of the accusing stares he knew that awaited him. If Donny Smith, one of the most jovial guys at the station, was giving him the brush off, then he knew what he would probably get from the rest of the men on duty.

As he was packing everything back in the squad, Donny walked past him without saying a word and got into the driver's seat of the squad. Sighing, Gage closed the compartment. Getting into the squad, they left the station to go and get supplies from Rampart. Sitting silently in the passenger seat, Gage felt his stomach begin to cramp. It was going to be one hell of a long day.

*******************************

En route to Rampart, they received a call. It turned out to be something minor. A boy fell out of a tree and sprained his ankle. After taping it up and giving the boy's mother instructions on taking him to their family physician, they finally made it to the hospital.

Gage walked down the hall alone. Donny had headed off to gather the supplies leaving him free to finally get his morning cup of java. As he sipped at the coffee, he noticed the looks he received from those who walked by. His mouth dropped open when one of the older nurses openly glared at him. Did the rumors and gossip spread so fast that everyone at the hospital knew what was going on?

He stiffened and felt his gut tightening as Dixie came walking toward him. The relief spread through him as she flashed him a bright smile, her voice warm. "Morning Johnny."

"Mornin' Dix."

Grabbing a file, she sat on the stool behind the nurses station and began marking things off as she spoke to him. "So how was the picnic yesterday?"

He gave her a wary look. There was nothing combative in her posture or voice. "It was good."

She arched an eyebrow at him and smiled. "Just good?"

"Well it was...interesting."

"That's what I've heard." She wrote a few more things down before continuing. "I hear that you and Greg from 110 had a little difference of opinion."

Gage snickered, then took a swig of coffee. Swallowing it, he gave her a semi-guilty look. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Tapping her pen on the desktop, she smiled knowingly at him. "I also heard that you finally got the nerve up to talk to Jennifer."

Placing the mug of coffee down on the counter, he hesitated, then relented. This was Dixie. She never passed judgment on anyone until hearing all the facts. Having been a part of the gossip mill at Rampart, she knew what a rumor could do. He nodded yes, wondering how she knew that he had been interested in Jennifer.

Gage gave Dixie a confused look. "How come you're not surprised?"

She leaned forward and smiled. "Because I'm a woman. I could see it happening."

"Do you think Joanne knew? I mean she acted kind of like she didn't."

Dixie smiled again. "She knew Johnny, she just didn't want to admit to herself that it was happening."

"Yeah, I guess so."

She gave him a sympathetic look. "It's going to be really hard you know that don't you?"

Running a hand through his hair, he frowned. "I knew people wouldn't be too happy about it, but I never thought...man, people are looking at me, Dix like...like I..."

"Like you're dating a little girl?"

He gave a surprised look, shaking his head in agreement. "Yeah! That's exactly it!"

"Johnny, you have to remember everyone knows Jennifer as Roy's little girl. Even though she's working here and she's an adult, it's going to take alot of getting use to the idea of you and her together as something other than Uncle Johnny and little Jennifer."

Their conversation was cut short when Donny walked up to them, his tone brusque. "Come on Gage, we have a call." Without another word, he turned and walked away.

Dixie gave Gage an encouraging smile. "Don't let them get to you. They'll get use to you and Jennifer being together. It may take some time, but it will happen. Look at Joe and I."

"Man, I sure hope so. I don't know how long I'll be able to put up with all the cold shoulders I'm getting." As he turned to leave, he stopped and gave her a grateful smile. "Thanks Dix."

"Anytime you need to talk Johnny, I'm here."

He flashed her another smile. Leave it to Dixie to make him feel better.

Turning away, he walked quickly down the hall and out to the squad, wishing that Donny would lighten up so he could talk to him as well. Maybe if he could get one person in the department other than Chet to understand, then maybe he wouldn't feel so alone.

 

*******************************

 

Stretching, Jennifer rolled over in her bed, pulling the covers up tightly to her chin. Snuggling against the pillow, she lay still. Her eyes suddenly flew open and she looked at the clock on the night stand. Her voice was sleep laden as she mumbled her feelings. "Crud." Flipping back the sheets, she rolled off the bed and padded her way silently across the room to grab her robe.

Opening the door, she peered down the hall. She could hear the voices of her parents coming from downstairs. It was safe to get a shower. She made it a quick one. She had to do this right if she were to get out of the house without having to argue with her two non-approving parental units.

Dressing in a her jogging clothes, she tied her hair in a pony tail and crept down the hall and stairway. As she silently made her way down the steps, she forgot one important detail. The second to the last step creaked loudly as her weight settled on it. She stopped and cursed herself for being so stupid. It had only been three days ago that her mom had been nagging at her dad that the steps had been on the honey-do list for way too long. Said dad now yelled at her from the kitchen.

"Jennifer could you please come here!"

Pursing her lips in annoyance, she headed for the kitchen and the certain argument that she had hoped to avoid. It was way too beautiful a day to waste fighting with them. Plastering on a fake smile and a cheerful attitude, she walked into the kitchen, preparing for battle.

"Good morning Mom. Good morning Dad."

Joanne smiled at her, but it was missing its usual sparkle. Jennifer could see the tension in her mom's face and posture. Her dad on the other hand didn't even bother trying to hide how he was feeling. The frown he wore was like a red flag. She almost started laughing when the phrase 'Danger Will Robinson' flew through her brain.

Roy's voice was accusing. "And just where were you're sneaking off to?"

Grabbing a muffin from the counter, Jennifer sliced it in half and jammed it in the toaster. "I wasn't going anywhere."

"I don't like you lying to me. Where were you going?"

Turning to Roy, she frowned. "I was going out for a jog so I wouldn't have to listen to you and Mom lecture me."

"Lecture you?! Excuse me, young lady, but do you have any idea what you're doing? I'm not lecturing you, I'm trying to knock some sense into your head before it's too late."

Narrowing her eyes, Jennifer couldn't stop herself. Chris was known for having a temper like Gage, but she was known for having her dad's temperament. Slow to anger, but once let loose, hard to contain.

"According to you two, it already 'is' too late! You've made up your minds that Johnny's been screwing me!"

Joanne's was shocked. Her baby never talked like that. "Jennifer!"

Roy's lips thinned. "You apologize to your mom this instant!"

Jennifer folded her arms, her voice sarcastic. "I'm so sorry Mom. You and Dad think Johnny has been molesting me for some time now. Is that better?"

Before Roy could yell at her again, Jennifer continued.

"I can't believe you guys! Do really think so little of him that you'd think he's been sleeping with me behind your backs? And what makes you think I've been having sex to begin with?! Have you even thought about me? Well it takes two to tango and if he's been doing it, then so have I. Maybe I'm the one who molested him first!"

Roy's voice was low. "Jennifer, stop it."

"No, you stop it Dad. I'm not a baby, I haven't been one for a long time. If either one of you have looked lately, you'll notice I'm an adult. I can decide what I want to do and who I want to see."

Roy slapped the table loudly, causing both Joanne and Jennifer to jump. "Damn it Jennifer, I know you're an adult, but you don't know Gage the way I do! Do you know how many women he's been with? I'm not talking about one or two, I'm talking hundreds."

Jennifer snorted, trying hard to cover up her discomfort. She had heard the rumors about Gage, but she also heard other things. Things that totally discounted more than half of those rumors.

"They're called dates Dad. Just because Johnny's gone out with a lot of women it doesn't mean he's had sex with them."

Roy shook his head. "I know for a fact that he's been around."

"Oh really. I never thought that he'd tell you every time he's done it with someone. The few times I've caught him talking to you about sex, he got all flustered and clammed up. I know him too Dad. He doesn't kiss and tell, not even to you."

Roy glared back at her. She had him there. Gage never really said if he did or didn't have sex with a woman he was dating. Most of the time he was glad that his partner didn't divulge his sexual habits with him like some of the other guys talked about their sex lives, but right now all he had for a weapon were the rumors and there were plenty of those.

"Jennifer, like it or not, he's been around."

"So what! He's a single guy! Like it or not, he's going to have sex occasionally. Did you expect him to hold off and wait until he's married? Is that what you're expecting me to do?"

Joanne sighed. "Yes. If you haven't had sex yet, it would be nice if you saved yourself for your husband."

Jennifer chuckled. "Oh, like you waited until you got married?"

Roy jumped to his feet yelling at her. "That is enough!"

She flinched as he jumped up, but she wasn't about to back down. They had to understand or there would be no hope for them all.

"Johnny and I have never done anything. Ever." She almost said he did kiss her for the first time at the picnic, but that wouldn't have helped her case.

"Maybe if the two of you could get your minds out of the gutter, then you'd believe me. Have you ever thought that maybe he does love me? Have you ever thought about what you're doing by accusing us of this stuff? We aren't screwing around! I'm going to see him whether you approve of it or not, so you both have to decide. Do you love me and care enough about us both to quit doing this or are you both willing to push us out of your lives?"

Without waiting for an answer, she stomped her way out of the kitchen, slamming the front door on her way out.

The silence in the kitchen was eerie. The muffin popped out of the toaster, burnt on the edges. Standing, Joanne calmly walked over and picked it up with a napkin and threw it in the trash. Sitting back at the table, she took a sip of her now cold coffee. "That went well."

"I don't want to hear it Jo."

"You know I'm right."

"How can you be so sure? At the picnic you were all ready to yell at Gage for defiling 'your baby'."

"I just know Roy. I can tell."

"Uh huh."

She got up and poured the coffee down the drain. Turning, she looked at Roy and smiled slightly. "I knew when Chris did."

Roy's eyes widened slightly, then he gave her a smug smile.

"Okay Jo, you're the expert. Who was it?"

"Cindy Margolas, the little Italian girl he was seeing his junior year in high school."

Roy blinked in surprise. "Did he tell you?"

"No, I just knew. He seemed...different."

He looked at his wife in astonishment. Chris had told him, embarrassed as hell, but he had told him about his first sexual encounter shortly after it had happened. He had wanted to know all sorts of answers to all sorts of questions that he had never expected to have his son ask him.

"He didn't tell you? You just knew?"

"No, he never told me, but I do know that he talked to you about it. I remember you coming out of his room with a red face and you wouldn't tell me what the two of you had talked about."

"Um...has Jennifer ever...is she still a..." He motioned with his hands, not wanting to say the word.

"She's never told me if she has or not. I had thought she...experimented when she went on that trip to Europe, but now I'm not sure. She may still be a...well I don't think she's done 'it' exactly."

They both stared at one another feeling extremely uncomfortable. Roy said what he knew the both of them were thinking.

"If she hasn't done anything so far, I know she will with him. He's not going to be happy with just dating her."

Joanne sighed. "I know you don't want to do this but maybe we should okay their being together."

"What?!"

"Hear me out Roy. If we support her decision, maybe she won't sleep with him to make a point of it. Maybe they'll date for a while and then they'll find out exactly how ridiculous it is for them to be together."

Roy didn't like the idea, but it did make some sense. Who knows. Maybe Gage would be his normal self and screw things up with Jennifer like he did with every other woman he had been with before. The only problem was this wasn't a woman, this was his little girl. Was he willing to take a gamble with his daughter's life?

He gave Joanne a sad smile. Walking over to her, he hugged her. "I guess that's what we'll have to do. Let's just hope she won't hate us when we have to say I told you so."

 

*******************************

 

The day wore on slowly at the station making Gage wish that he had never put in for the overtime shift. Between the runs and the chores spent in silence, he was slowly growing angry. He hadn't done anything wrong, but everyone was quick to place some type of blame on him. Was it so wrong for him to feel the way he did about Jennifer? Was it wrong to love her?

When it came time for lunch, he made himself absent from the group gathered in the kitchen, preferring to sit out on the hood of the Rover so he could think.

Dixie had been right when she said things would be hard and he knew that this was only the beginning. Tomorrow he would be on his regular shift, facing Roy for the first time since he had admitted his feelings to him about Jennifer. If Donny refused to talk to him , he knew Roy would make sure they spent as little time together as possible.

There would be no more friendly banter, no more playful teasing. No friendship. He felt a hollow pang in the pit of his stomach. They had been close friends and partners for years. He'd been a part of the DeSoto family for so long that he had almost forgotten what life had been like with his own family. The pain and the loneliness had been filled. He had a new family here in Los Angeles.

Leaning back, he closed his eyes and let the sun warm his face, wishing it could warm his soul as well. He knew that he had lost Roy and Joanne, but he had no idea how Chris felt about the whole thing.

Opening his eyes, he stared out at the horizon. He had watched Chris grow from a hyper boy to a responsible man. He smiled as he thought of how people always compared Chris to him just because of similar temperaments. Their both saying what was on their minds, not what people wanted to hear. It was nice to know that he had some influence on the boy. He also knew that it irritated the hell out of Roy.

His stomach rumbled noisily drawing his thoughts away from his current dilemma. Looking at his watch, he decided to brave the other men and grab a sandwich before calling Jennifer. He said he would and he always kept his word.

Sliding off the Rover, he walked toward the station. As he went into the kitchen, he ignored the look of disgust that was shot his way by Roberts, the station's engineer. He had expected to be treated like crap by Roberts. The guy was usually ignorant to him in better circumstances, so why would it be any better now?

Opening the refrigerator, Gage pulled out some cold cuts and threw together a sandwich. Pouring a large glass of milk, he took his meager lunch over to the phone. Turning his back on Roberts, he made the call. The phone rang once. As soon as he took a sip of milk, a breathless voice answered the phone.

"Hello?"

Gulping the milk down, Gage frowned slightly. "Jen?"

Her voice sounded extremely perky on the other end, causing him to smile. "Hi Johnny, how're you doing?"

He chuckled. "Boy, you sure answered the phone fast. It didn't even ring twice."

"I didn't want to chance mom or dad answering it and hanging up on you."

Gage's appetite for the sandwich in his hand suddenly vanished. "Is it that bad?"

"Well...not really. We had a little 'talk' this morning so you can kind of guess how that went. After I told them what I thought, I went out for a little run."

Gage smiled as he pictured Jennifer running, her long golden ponytail bouncing with every stride. He mentally chided himself for visualizing other body parts jumping in cadence with her every move. "Maybe we could go running together some time."

He could hear the teasing quality in her voice. "Do you think you can keep up with me?"

He snorted, resisting the urge to laugh outloud. "Yeah, I think my decrepit body can keep up with you."

Jennifer on the other end of the line, smiled as she got a visual of Gage running beside her, his stride a long easy lope. She knew he could easily outdistance her in the running department and she knew he was as fast as a deer. She pictured them jogging around the neighborhood, the sweat glistening on his skin.

She had spent many times watching Gage help her father in the yard and around the house. She now pictured him in a sweat soaked tank top, smiling back at her as he jammed a shovel into the dirt, helping to plant the rose bushes that now covered a gazebo in the back yard.

"Jen? You still there?"

She startled, then blushed in embarrassment. "Huh? Uh...sorry Johnny...I was thinking."

Gage smiled on his end of the phone. He knew he had distracted her some how. Just as he was about to tease her about it, Jennifer's voice dropped to a whisper.

"I have to go Johnny, dad just came in. 'Bye."

"Goodbye Princess." He could hear her huff of disapproval as he hung the phone up. Chuckling, he took a large bite of the sandwich. His lost appetite had returned.

As he turned away from the phone, he stopped in mid-chew. Roberts glared at him, his voice dripping with hate. "You know Gage, I always knew you were a piece of shit, but this tops the cake."

Gage returned Roberts glare with one of his own. If he wanted to get through this, he'd have to take a stand now and then and when it came to Roberts, the sooner he did it the better. The man was a royal pain in the ass and could make his life difficult if he wanted to.

He mumbled around a mouthful of food. "It's none of your damn business."

"Yeah, right. Everyone knows what a pig you are with the ladies. As soon as they get wind of what you're doing with DeSoto's daughter, you're history."

Swallowing the bit of sandwich, Gage walked up to Roberts, never letting his eyes leave the other man's.

"You don't know anything. You never have."

Roberts snickered, the smile on his face completely mirthless. "I know enough. You've been messing around with your partner's little girl. You'll be out of the department so fast you won't know what hit you and I for one can't wait. You don't belong here, you never have. The moron that let you in made a big mistake and it's finally going to be fixed."

With a smug smile on his face, Roberts turned his back on Gage and walked out of the kitchen, leaving him to fume and worry by himself. Taking the sandwich to the trash can, Gage dropped it in. He'd lost his appetite again.

 

*******************************

After another restless night, Gage had felt like crawling back into bed and calling in sick. The overtime shift at 19 had been one long day of pure hell and now he was certain that he was driving straight into another.

Pulling into the parking lot of Station 51, he sat in the Rover staring at the door. The moment he walked through that door and into the locker room, he knew he'd have to face Roy again.

He felt like he did the first day on the job all those years ago. Apprehensive of what was to come. How would they perceive him? Would he be rejected? The terror of not knowing what to expect caused his heart to race and his palms to sweat.

Running a hand over the steering wheel, he jerked the keys from the ignition. He might as well get it over and done with. The problems weren't going to just disappear because he wanted them to.

As he approached his locker, he hesitated. Roy stood before his locker getting dressed. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward, pulled open the locker and began getting changed.

Here was the hard part. Would Roy answer him or turn around and spit on him? He said the words, hoping that his voice didn't reveal his nervous emotions. "Mornin' Roy."

Roy answered him in a calm voice. "Morning John."

Gage took a quick peek at Roy. He had called him John, but it was better than no response at all. Maybe things weren't going to be as bad as he thought. Maybe Jennifer's talk had settled some of the issues concerning their relationship.

Quickly buttoning his shirt, he adjusted his name tag, all the while wishing that Roy would talk to him, say anything about the weather, his day off...anything! It wasn't like he could tell him about his horrible shift. What could he say? Hey Roy, everyone at Rampart and 19 thinks I'm a pervert.

Bucking his belt, he walked out to the bay and stood at the end of the line, silently waiting for roll call. He could feel the eyes of the other men on him. Never in his wildest dreams did Gage think that Chet, the man who had tormented him and played one practical joke after another on him, would be his and Jennifer's biggest supporter.

As Roy stepped into line, he stood right beside Gage. Everyone except for Gage leaned forward slightly to look at them. They had expected Roy to avoid Gage at all costs. Instead he stood calmly next to him as if nothing had happened.

 

*******************************

 

Cap walked into the bay, amazed at what he saw. He had been dreading roll call since the moment he had woke up. To find his two paramedics standing side by side like they did every other day was a relief.

As he gave everyone their duties, he kept looking at Gage and DeSoto. They never ceased to amaze him. Dismissing the group, Cap almost didn't do what he had planned on doing the previous evening, but he was the captain after all so it would be better to be on the cautious side. "John, Roy...would you please come to my office."

"Sure Cap."

"Okay Cap."

Gage and DeSoto sat down before him. Clasping his hands on his desk, Cap didn't know where to start. The idea that he had to have a talk like this with them was incomprehensible.

Clearing his throat, he began what he hoped wouldn't end up with his men fighting. He only wanted to clear the air where the matter was concerned. Nip the problem in the bud. "I think you both know why we're having this little discussion."

Roy frowned and Gage nodded his head yes.

"I need to know now if there's going to be any problems while you're on duty...concerning the current situation in your private lives."

Gage and DeSoto looked briefly at one another, neither man saying a word. Cap sighed knowing that it would be like pulling teeth to get the issue resolved. "John, do you think you'll have a problem working with Roy?"

Gage sat up straighter. "No Cap. I don't have a problem with Roy."

"Roy what about you?"

Roy wanted to scream out that yes he did have a big problem with his partner screwing his daughter, but instead he gave a bland reply. "I don't have a problem working with him."

Cap could see Roy's barely restrained anger. "Fine. I have to let you know that if problems do arise due to this little...issue, I'll have to take action, whether it be disciplinary or transferring one of you permanently to another station. Do I make myself clear?"

Gage looked from Cap to Roy then back to Cap, his expression guarded. "I understand."

Roy smirked slightly. "So do I."

Cap clapped his hands nervously together. "Good. I'm glad we're all clear on this. I'm hoping that you can resolve your differences so I won't lose the best paramedic team in LA."

Roy let out a short huff and rolled his eyes. Gage tapped his fingers on the armrest of his chair, then turned to Roy. He wanted to get it all out in the open now. The last thing he wanted was to be distracted by his personal thoughts while on a run. "Roy, I'm not going to do anything...I'm..." He ran a hand nervously through his hair in frustration. "We haven't even been on a date! How come everyone's acting like I've done something wrong?"

Roy counted to ten before turning in his seat to look at Gage, his disgust evident. "You know you really have balls, I'll hand it to you. You've been doing God knows what with 'my' daughter behind my back and you expect me to be happy? You're old enough to be her father for Christ sake!"

Gage settled back in the chair and frowned. "Well maybe if I had her when I was in high school I could be her dad, but I'm not 'that' old!"

Roy stared back at Gage, then laughed as he ran his hands over his face. "You know Gage, your sense of logic constantly astounds me."

Gage leaned forward, placing a hand on his chest. "Besides the age difference, what have you got against me and Jennifer dating?"

Roy burst out laughing and looked at Cap as he gestured at Gage. "Do you believe him?!"

Roy jerked his gaze back at Gage, his voice rising as he spoke. "You go around screwing half the nurses at Rampart and you have the nerve to ask me why I don't want you with my daughter?!"

Gage narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips in annoyance, feeling his chest growing tight. "So that's what it all comes down to huh? You think this is all about sex? Man, I can't believe you!" He gripped the arm rest, trying to keep his anger in check, but the sarcasm in his voice was loud and clear. "I haven't 'screwed' half the nurses at Rampart. Sure I've gone out with some of them. I've taken them to dinner or the movies. They're called dates Roy. Oh, but I keep forgetting, you've only been with Joanne since you were in grade school so you wouldn't have any idea what a date is."

Roy shouted back at him. "You leave Joanne out of this!"

Gage yelled back. "I'm not talking about Joanne, I'm talking about you! Have you ever thought that I care about Jen? Do you think the only reason I want to be able to see her is so we can..." He gestured about with his hands.

Roy stared back at him and grit his teeth. It was taking all of his resolve to not jump up and punch Gage in the face. "Isn't that the whole point to dating? So you can get to 'know' someone better?"

"Yeah Roy, that's right. To get to 'know' them not bang 'em!"

Roy jumped to his feet and Gage remained seated. He wasn't going to fight Roy and he had meant it. All it would do is make the rift between them grow deeper. He wanted to be able to somehow salvage their friendship, but the way things were looking the chances of it happening were slim. Fighting Roy would only cause him to lose his job and Jennifer. He knew she wouldn't put up with it.

Cap's voice was quiet. "Roy, sit down please."

Roy glared at Gage as he slowly sat back down.

Cap sighed. Maybe he shouldn't have brought them to his office after all. Things had seemed fine at roll call and all he had done was mess things up.

He had to think of something that would ease the tension. He knew their working together right now wouldn't do either man any good. It had to be done. Maybe if they spent some time apart, they'd realize just what they meant to each other.

"I can see that there's going to be some problems here whether either one of you wants to admit it." Cap looked directly at Gage. "I'm going to request that you be temporarily assigned to 110."

Gage opened his mouth to protest and Cap held a hand up to stop him. "I said temporary John, not permanent. I think both of you need to cool off and get your lives in order."

He looked at Roy. "I'll be moving you to B shift."

Roy's face fell, but he remained silent. "Once you've settled things, I can evaluate the situation and have you back on your regular shift together."

Gage and Roy sat silently, ignoring one another. Cap wanted to reach out and shake them both. He wanted to shake Gage for all of this and he wanted to shake Roy for not being more understanding of the situation, but being a father, he would have been just as upset as Roy if Gage was the one wanting to date his daughter. He shuddered involuntarily. The man simply wasn't stable when it came to the dating game. He jumped from woman to woman, never really thinking about his actions. It was like having a perennial teenager in their midst.

With a tired sigh he dismissed them. "Try and get along with each other. All I'm asking is that you do your jobs and do it professionally. Do you understand?"

Their voices answered him in unison. "Yes Cap."

They both stood and glared at one another. Gage gestured ahead of him. "After you."

Roy ignored him and left the room.

Gage looked back at Cap, like he was about to say something. Shaking his head, he turned and walked out.

Cap leaned back in his chair and looked heavenward. "Why me? Why can't I have a nice normal group of men like the other captains?"

*******************************

Dixie watched her two favorite paramedics approach the nurses station. The distance between them was painfully obvious. Roy looked irritated and Gage looked like a puppy that had been kicked one time too many. She smiled at them, hoping to alleviate some of the tension.

"Hi Johnny, hi Roy. How are you two doing today?"

Roy nodded distractedly. "Hi Dixie." He barely looked at Gage, his voice dry. "I'll be back in a few minutes, you can get the supplies."

Gage watched Roy walk to the elevator. He knew exactly where he was headed. Accounting, so he could grill Jennifer.

"Penny for your thoughts, Johnny."

Gage turned to Dixie and frowned. "They're not even worth a penny, Dix."

"It's gotten bad hasn't it?"

"Bad isn't the word. It's...man, it's beyond bad."

Two nurses walked by the station giving him dirty looks. He motioned at their retreating figures as they went down the corridor. "You see that Dixie? That's what I have to put up with. I haven't done anything and people are acting like I'm a leper."

Dixie leaned on the counter. "I'm not saying this to be mean Johnny, but you do have something of a reputation." She held a hand up, stopping him from protesting. "Deserved or not, you have one. If you're going to be dating Jennifer, people will assume the rest."

The frustration was clearly evident in both his face and voice as he talked. "Dix, I've never told anyone anything I've done or haven't done for that matter. It's my business what I do when I go out with someone. If I have a reputation, then it's all rumors."

Dixie shrugged her shoulders slightly. "I know Johnny, but rumors sometimes sound better than the truth. I'm speaking from experience."

"Yeah I know, but at least you and Dr. Brackett are still good friends. Roy..." His voice faded as he looked down at the floor.

"Johnny."

He looked back up at her, seeing the sympathetic look in her eyes only made him feel worse.

"Roy'll come around. Just give him some time." She smiled slightly, resisting the urge to reach out and hug him. "Be honest with yourself Johnny. How would you have reacted if the shoe were on the other foot?"

Gage gave her a weak smile in return. "Yeah, you do have a point, but I was hoping...man, I don't know what I was thinking when I thought things wouldn't be this bad."

Looking down the hall, he watched as Roy jogged toward him wearing a worried expression. What had Jennifer said to him that would have wound him up so much?

*******************************

Roy smacked the HT restlessly in his hands while he waited for Jennifer to come out of the office and into the hall.

As the door opened, she spotted him and smiled brightly. "Hi Dad, what brings you here?"

Looking up and down the hall, she didn't see Gage. She felt like she'd been punched in the stomach. "Something's happened to Johnny?"

Roy looked back at her completely dumbfounded. He came to talk to her and all she did was worry about Gage. It made him sick.

"There's nothing wrong with him, he's getting supplies."

"Oh...so why are you here?"

"Do I have to have a reason to want to see my daughter?"

"Well, no I guess."

"You guess?!"

Jennifer immediately knew that things had gotten worse. Something happened or her father wouldn't have been up to see her. "Dad, what's the matter?"

Roy fidgeted with the HT. Jennifer had the same penetrating stare that Joanne had when she knew there was something bothering him. The one that wouldn't allow lying.

"I don't want you seeing him."

Jennifer crossed her arms, her voice growing cold. "Why?"

Roy's anger came rushing back. "You have to ask why? Jennifer, he's old enough to be your father!"

She snorted, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Yeah, maybe if he had married Mom when he was in high school he could be."

Roy stared back at her open mouthed. His daughter, his own flesh and blood, just quoted back what Gage had said to him earlier in the day. Throwing his arms up in the air, his voice got louder with each word. "I give up! You do what you want to do Jennifer, but when he hurts you, I don't want to hear it!"

She shook her head no. "Dad, Johnny's not going to hurt me. How can I make you understand how we feel?"

"You can't. I just...this isn't right and you know it. He knows it."

She sighed and looked down at the floor, trying to contain her frustration. Looking back up, she had tears in her eyes. Placing a hand on her chest, her voice quivered slightly.

"I know it's right. I feel it in here."

Roy shook his head no and frowned. "Jennifer, I think you're confusing a childhood crush with love. You're not even old enough to know what real love is."

Her eyes narrowed in anger as she spat the words out. "No, I do know what love is. It's feeling like you're going to die if something happens to the person you care about. It's having to sit back and pretend you're a good little girl, while the man you want is out trying to find something that's right in front of his face. I'm an adult. I don't have to hide how I feel anymore and neither does Johnny." She gestured wildly with her hands. "Who's getting hurt by us being together?!"

Roy sighed. Jennifer was just as stubborn as her mother and was blinded by what she thought was the only truth. "I'm being hurt by this. So is your mom and Chris is too. Everyone at Rampart and the station think he's..." He clamped his mouth shut. He didn't want to let his little girl know what her co-workers thought.

"They think he's what?"

Roy clutched the HT tightly in his hand. Maybe if she heard what other people thought, she'd wake up and forget about the whole thing. She'd see what a horrible mistake she was making. How ridiculous it was. "They think he's been...fooling around with you for some time. Since you were in high school."

"What?!"

Roy knew he had struck a nerve. "Try and see how everyone else sees it. What if Chris suddenly said he was going to date a woman in her forties? What would you be thinking?"

Jennifer's voice was low and tense. "I'd be happy for him as long as it was who he wanted to be with. I wouldn't judge him like everyone's judging Johnny and me."

Roy laughed. "That's a crock and you know it." He pointed an accusing finger at her. "Last year when Gage was seeing that woman Beth, I remember hearing you say how much you didn't like her. How wrong she was for him. You weren't happy with who he wanted to be with."

Jennifer bit her lip. He had her cornered and she knew it, but she had also been right. Beth wasn't who Gage wanted. "She was wrong for him and you know it Dad."

"No, I don't know. I really thought that she was the one. He gave her a ring, they were making wedding plans, the whole nine yards, but you and she..." Roy's voice trailed off as it dawned on him why Jennifer and Beth had the argument, almost coming to blows. His voice was incredulous. "You were jealous. You started that fight with her on purpose to break them up."

Jennifer smirked back at her father. He was finally putting all of the pieces together. "Uh huh. I was jealous Dad. Think about it for a minute. I wanted what she had. What 'I' didn't have." She looked pointedly at him. "Until the other day, neither one of us knew how the other felt. We hid our true feelings for each other because we were afraid of what everyone would think. We were afraid of each other." She felt her throat tighten. "Do you know what it's like to finally say I love you to someone and hear the other person say it back?"

Roy felt himself go numb as the words that he'd been hearing sunk in. Gage and Jennifer were telling the truth. They hadn't been fooling around behind his back. Jennifer could tell by her father's silence that he finally believed her. Just as he opened his mouth, the HT went off.

They stood in silence, listening to the tones go off. Jennifer felt a chill run down her spine as she heard both the squad and the engine from 51 called, then two additional stations were added. When dispatch said it was a warehouse fire, the chill turned to fear.

Roy could see the fear in her eyes. She had learned a long time ago what a large fire meant. "I have to go pumpkin."

She fought to keep her voice from trembling. "Yeah, I know." Reaching out, she grabbed him and hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go. "Be careful Dad."

"I will."

Releasing him, she watched as he walked down the hall and disappeared around the corner. Letting out the nervous breath that she had been holding, she began a silent prayer for all the firemen on duty, hoping that they'd make it through the call safely and go home to their families.

Walking back to her desk, she stared blankly at the forms in front if her. Visions of her dad and Gage burning to death flashed through her mind.

Shaking her head, she chided herself. They were professionals who had been fighting fires for years. They knew what they were doing and they'd come back to the station and call her.

Picking a pencil up, she began working, trying to push aside the feeling of dread that gripped her. For some reason, she knew deep down inside that something bad was going to happen and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

*******************************

Roy jogged up to the nurse's station, motioning at Gage as he rushed past him. "We've got a call."

Gage immediately tensed up. It had to be a big one if Roy was getting excited over it. He gave Dixie a quick smile. "Gotta' run Dix, see ya' later!"

Before she could say anything, he rushed after DeSoto and disappeared around the corner. She whispered the words she had said a hundred times before. "Be careful guys."

*******************************

Hopping into the squad, Roy turned over the ignition, throwing it into gear as Gage jumped in the vehicle. Gage looked over at him in nervous anticipation.

"What's the call?"

"It's the warehouse over on West Beach."

"You're kidding?"

"No."

"We were just there last week."

"I know. Apparently someone wants it gone."

They lapsed into silence, the adrenaline coursing through them. A large warehouse fire was bad enough but when possible arson was involved, they never knew what additional problems would arise.

By the time they reached the location, they were on edge, ready to leap into action. Leaning forward, Gage looked through the windshield, the awe in his voice barely concealed. "Will you look at that."

As the squad stopped, he jumped out, grabbed his turnout coat and quickly pulled it on as he and Roy made their way to where Stanley was calling out orders over his HT. Flames and smoke rolled from the structure. Hose, equipment and men were scattered about in organized chaos, trying to battle the huge blaze.

As soon as Cap saw them, he motioned them forward, his expression serious, his voice angry.

"There's a possible victim in there. Security said he saw a teenaged boy going in, but he couldn't locate him. Once the fire started he got out of there and made the call. I want you two to assist 19. Go in, check out the second and third floors, then get the hell out of there."

Gage nodded in assent. Roy's next words caught him off guard. "Okay Cap. Come on Johnny."

He hesitated, then smiled as he jogged after Roy. Maybe it was only a result of stress or habit, but it felt good to hear Roy call him Johnny instead of Gage.

As they strapped on their SCBA, Roy looked at Gage, seeing how wired up he was getting. The barely contained excitement of the younger man began to rub off on him just like it always did.

He knew his junior partner wasn't careless, but sometimes his need to help those in trouble usually ended up with him being injured. Even though they had been doing this for years, the newness of every rescue never seemed to dim his love for the job.

Gage felt Roy's stare and looked up. Locking eyes with him, he couldn't help grinning. "Don't worry Pally, I'll be careful."

Roy smirked and shook his head. "You do that Junior."

They paused as each man realized that they had lapsed back into their old relationship. It felt right. The tension that had existed between them seemed to be gone.

Slipping their masks on, Roy patted Gage on the shoulder as they turned toward the fire. Roy definitely knew he and Gage still needed to talk, but that would have to wait until after they completed the task at hand. Once their search was done and the fire was out, there would be time to sit down and discuss the changes in their lives. Not yell or scream, but talk things over like they always did.

*******************************

As they made their way into the warehouse, Gage knew that if they found the missing boy, he'd probably be dead or in serious condition. The smoke was thick and the heat from the flames was oppressive. He could feel the sweat starting to trickle down his back, his mask fogging.

Taking the stairwell, they made slow progress. Roy's presence behind him, gave him comfort in the fact that he was there and that things were finally getting back to normal between them.

Leaving the stairwell, he felt a sharp tap on his shoulder causing him to stop and turn around. Roy motioned at him, that he would take the right sector. Nodding in understanding, Gage made quick work of checking his portion of the floor.

Meeting back at the stairwell, they yelled at the same time. "I didn't find him!"

Quick smiles were exchanged, then replaced by apprehension as a large explosion rocked the building. Gage pushed DeSoto toward the stairwell and they ran back down to the first floor.

As they came out into the opening, Donny and his partner Steve Mayo ran up to them. Each man yanked off their face mask. Donny's voice was high and fast, showing the fear that they all felt.

"This place is going to blow! Cap just told us there's a small storage of potassium chlorate somewhere in here. We'll fan out, cover this floor and bug out!"

Gage cast a worried glance in DeSoto's direction before they spread out. Potassium chlorate was highly volatile to begin with, but when involved in a fire, there was no doubt in his mind that the warehouse would go up like a rocket at any moment.

He increased his pace as he scanned the floor and behind crates and boxes. He wanted out of there in the worst way. To die rescuing a victim was one thing. To die checking out an empty warehouse pissed him off.

Rushing up to the exit, he breathed in relief as he spied Roy already standing by the door. Roy grabbed him by the arm and motioned him out. He waved him off and turned to see where Donny and Steve were. The figures of the two men could barely be made out as they jogged toward the exit. Then hell visited them.

He felt the concussion of the explosion, the heat smashing into him. There wasn't time to react as he was thrown back against the wall. He couldn't breathe as the air was forced from his lungs. What he saw before him, he would never forget as long as he lived.

There was only a short distance of fifteen yards or so separating him and Roy from Donny and Steve. Fifteen yards that meant the difference between life and death.

The blast took the other two paramedics, engulfing them in flames, throwing them across the warehouse and slamming them into a stack of crates.

Steve's body slumped to the ground, motionless save for the flames surrounding his body. He was the lucky one. Donny lay trapped beneath fallen crates, his screams loud, his arms and upper body flailing wildly against the fire burning him alive.

Every instinct told Gage to help Donny, but his training told him there was nothing he could do. If he attempted to rescue him, he would die as well. Averting his eyes from the horror before him, Gage struggled to his feet.

Grabbing Roy by the arm, he hauled him up. Together they stumbled from the warehouse as another explosion reverberated behind them. They were thrown to their knees by the force of the blast. Scrambling back to their feet, they hurried away from warehouse, relieved to have made it out in one piece.

They collapsed in a heap by the side of an engine. Pulling his mask off, Gage lay panting on the ground as the adrenaline in his system began to wane. With it's absence came a rush of pain in his side and back.

The last thing he remembered was Cap standing over him, his lips moving, but he couldn't make out what he was saying as everything faded to black.

*******************************

He could hear voices that sounded like they were coming from a distance. Muffled and jumbled they niggled at his brain. He knew the tones, but the words all ran together like an insect buzzing at his ear.

Rolling on his side, he used his hands to push away the thing that was near his face and head. At his movement, the sounds increased in volume.

Blinking slowly, Gage covered his face from the blinding light that assaulted his eyes as he was rolled gently onto his back.

"Easy there John, I have to check you over."

The light appeared again causing him to pull back. He tried grabbing the offending item, only to have his hands easily pushed away.

Things came back into focus and he saw Cap standing over him, wearing that worried paternal look of his one when of them was injured. It all came rushing back to him. The fire, the explosion...Donny and Steve being burnt to death.

"Shit." He lay for a second trying to think. Something was wrong. "Roy?!" He struggled to sit up, only to fall back as his head began to spin.

Cap's voice was soothing. "Roy's okay John." Cap looked at the paramedic treating Gage. "Let me know how he is. I need to go and talk to Daniels."

"Okay Captain Stanley."

Gage could hear Cap's retreating footsteps. Where was Roy? Cap said he was okay, so how come he wasn't with him?

He lay back on the ground, covering his face with his hands, trying to think why he was feeling so out of sorts. He remembered being thrown against the wall. His back and side had borne the brunt of it. He knew those pains were from the air tank.

What he didn't remember was hitting his head or blacking out in the warehouse. He couldn't have, considering he had witnessed the demise of his fellow paramedics. What was wrong with him?

"John?"

Hands pulled his arms back down. He looked up at the paramedic that was examining him. It wasn't Roy it was...what's his name? The young guy from the picnic. The pitcher. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't place the name. He felt the panic beginning to build. "Roy!"

"Hey calm down, he's all right. My partner's over there with him."

Greg motioned over at his partner Joe who was asking Roy questions while checking his blood pressure. It was obvious that he was all right because he was sitting on the back of an engine. He appeared calm and relaxed like he always did.

Roy looked Gage's way, noticing for the first time that he was awake and looking directly at him. He hadn't heard Gage call out to him due to the noise of the burning warehouse and the efforts being made to bring it under control. Roy immediately stood and began walking quickly over to him, pushing away Joe as he tried to pull him back.

Roy rushed over and knelt down next to Gage, his expression relieved. "It's about time you woke up Junior."

Gage tried to sit up again, only to have Roy place a hand on his chest and hold him down. "Let Greg finish, then you can think about getting up."

Joe walked up behind Roy and snorted, his voice teasing. "You need to follow your own orders DeSoto."

Roy looked over his shoulder at Joe and gave him an apologetic smile. "You were almost done anyway. Besides, there's nothing wrong with me."

Joe pointed at Roy as he looked down at Gage. "When you two were in the warehouse, how was he?"

Gage looked at Roy and frowned. "You're not okay Roy, you didn't get up right away. I had to help you."

Roy looked back at Gage and shot him a frown. "I'm fine. I didn't pass out."

Gage tried to smile and grimaced instead. He shook his head only to regret it as a sharp pain shot down his neck and back. Swallowing to keep from throwing up, he looked directly at Joe. "He was out. Maybe only for a second, but he was definitely out. He just doesn't want to go to Rampart."

Roy's frown grew bigger. "And you don't want to get stuck staying there alone."

Gage attempted to sit up again, this time Greg held him down. "Will you be still!

Shooting Greg a dirty look, Gage opened his mouth to tell him to piss off, then he quickly closed it as another wave of nausea hit him.

Greg looked from Roy to Gage and then to Joe. "Well Rampart definitely wants Gage to come in, but you have the call on DeSoto."

Joe grinned down at Roy. "Considering you left out certain parts on how you were feeling, I think a trip in with your partner is called for."

Roy rolled his eyes in irritation, then looked past the paramedic. He saw Cap talking to 19's captain.

Turning away from the sight, he shivered involuntarily. It could have been them. He and Gage could have been the ones to die. Instead they earned a ride to Rampart and another chance at life.

He looked down at his friend, noticing that Gage was staring past him at the still burning warehouse. He knew what he was thinking. "Johnny, we couldn't do anything to save them."

Gage looked away from the blaze. His eyes blurred as he thought of all the what ifs that were involved. What if Roy had been killed? What if he had died? What would have happened to Jennifer if one of them were still trapped back in the burning warehouse, nothing but charred flesh and bone left to bury?

Wiping a hand over his eyes, he sighed. "Yeah...but I wish..."

"Johnny, listen to me. We couldn't save them. You saw what happened. We had no choice."

"I know."

Closing his eyes, Gage could see Donny burning, he could hear his screams. He shivered at the memories and tried to block them out with Donny sitting in the squad with him, telling him a joke or talking about his son's latest little league game.

Those thoughts only depressed him more. Donny had a wife and son that would never see him again. There would be a big fancy funeral with all the trimmings, then they would be handed the flag from his casket and it would be all over and done with. Donny did his duty and died for it.

He thought of Steve the younger of the team. Donny and Steve were like he and Roy when they had first started out, only Steve was quiet. He hardly even knew the man. What would be left for his family to remember? He looked up at Roy, his expression growing hard.

"What about the kid in the warehouse? We didn't find him, so where is he?"

Roy frowned and he could see Greg and Joe looking quickly away from him.

"Roy?"

Roy ran a hand over his head, his voice bitter. "The police caught him five blocks from here. Someone saw him climbing a fence behind the warehouse and called it in."

Gage felt his stomach drop, then the anger stabbed him in the chest. He struggled to sit, shoving Roy's hands away from him. "You mean Donny and Steve died for nothing?!! They fucking died for shit?!!"

*******************************

Cap turned as he heard Gage's outburst. He looked back at Captain Daniels who motioned him away.

"Go talk to your men."

With a heavy heart, Cap walked away from Daniels, thanking God that all he had to do was go and talk to Gage and DeSoto about the deaths of Donny and Steve.

He didn't envy the living hell that Daniels and the rest of the men at 19 would have to go through in the next few weeks. They had lost two of their own. Sighing, he corrected himself. They had all lost the two men. Brothers forever linked in death. Now he had to go and deal with the survivors.

*******************************

Gage lay quietly on the gurney, still seething mad at the turn of events. Having heard all the details from Cap about the boy getting arrested hadn't calmed him down. He had ranted and raved rather loudly in only the fashion that he could, leaving him flat on his back practically hyperventilating.

He knew he should control his temper, but this wasn't some minor mishap. Two men had died for nothing while some punk boy would get a slap on the wrist for causing all of it.

Roy had even threatened to contact Rampart and have him sedated when he had finally caught his breath and was about to start yelling again.

As they loaded him into the ambulance, he resisted the urge to grab onto the doors to keep them from putting him in the vehicle. It always reminded him of a casket being placed in a hearse and after watching Donny and Steve die, he couldn't shake the vision of his own body being shuffled off for burial with the two men.

Curling his hands into fists, he watched as Roy and Greg climbed in and settled down. He was irked that they didn't insist that Roy be hauled around like he was.

He glanced over at Roy and could see that he was a bit upset about him basically ratting him out. Roy wasn't glaring back at him or anything like that, but Gage could tell by the set of his jaw that he was one unhappy camper.

He began to worry about his partner. Roy had a nasty habit of hiding how he really felt. Not that he wasn't guilty of doing the same thing, but people believed Roy. He was the mature one. The older, more respected part of their duo.

Roy could fool any one of the doctors at Rampart into believing that he was fine and dandy and then off he would go. Free as a bird and his injuries left untreated. If Roy managed to weasel his way out of the hospital, he'd have to say something again to make sure he received the proper treatment.

Staring up at the ceiling of the ambulance, Gage thought about what had happened back at the warehouse. Why couldn't he remember Greg's name? Why did he pass out?

Closing his eyes, he sighed. He'd have his answers soon enough. After he was delivered into the hands of whatever doctor was on duty, they'd figure it out. At least he hoped they would.

Then the panic of the situation began to slowly grab hold of him. If he told them about the memory loss, they'd keep him overnight for observation. Or even for a few days! The idea of being trapped in a hospital bed made his blood run cold. Nurses would come in and out of his room at odd hours, poking and prodding him. Asking one question after another, over and over.

Then there would be the tests. Needles jammed in his skin, drawing out blood. Hands twisting and pulling at his various body parts, sometimes so painfully that he often wondered if they were trying to create an injury so that they could keep him in there longer to try out experimental treatments. He knew they were only doing their jobs, but just once he wished they would leave him alone so that he could sleep without being woke up every fifteen minutes.

Reaching a hand up, he began to rubbed tiredly at his eyes only to have Greg pull his arm back down.

"Quit moving around Gage, you'll pull your iv out."

Shooting Greg a nasty look, he settled back again, ignoring Roy who was now looking over at him, his expression worried once more.

He knew what he would do. Maybe he had only been disoriented, not unconscious. That was it. If he kept his mouth shut, the worst he could expect would be an overnight stay. He'd stay quiet and get the hell out of there as fast as he could. Now all he had to do was think of a way to make the doctor on duty believe him.

*******************************

Roy sat on the exam bed, tracking Dr. Brackett's finger. He was still peeved that Gage had to go and say something about him blacking out. He hadn't really blacked out in the true sense of the word, he had only lost consciousness for a few brief seconds, not minutes like his partner had been out.

He fidgeted as Brackett flashed a light in his eyes. After a few questions and another test or two, Brackett smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

"Your responses are fine, but I want to keep you overnight for observation just to be on the cautious side."

Roy visibly slumped, shaking his head in irritation. Brackett's smile didn't waver as he looked Roy over.

"Roy, I know you feel fine, but you did have a period of unconsciousness..."

"I wasn't unconscious, it was more like I was disoriented."

"Maybe that's so, but that along with those nasty bruises on your back...I'd feel better if we kept an eye on you."

Flexing a shoulder, Roy felt a twinge. He shook his head no. "I'm not in any pain, I'm just a little achy."

Brackett's smile finally faded to replaced by a stern expression. "That may be true, but you know as well as I do that you don't fool around with a head injury."

He gave Roy a pointed stare. "No matter how small that injury may be, it could develop into something bigger if not properly taken care of."

Feeling chastised, Roy remained silent. Like it or not, he was going to be an over night guest at Rampart. He began to go over the list of things that had to be done. Call Joanne and let her know what was going on and for her to not worry. He hoped that Cap hadn't called her. He loved his wife dearly, but sometimes she overreacted when he was injured.

His next thoughts were to notifying his children. As soon as he thought it, he paused for a second or two. How would Jennifer react to all of this? It would be a test to see if she were prepared for this type of life. She was use to seeing her favorite 'uncle' in the hospital, but things were different this time. He wondered if she would be able to handle it.

As much as he hated admitting it to himself, he wished she would pull away from Gage like some of the women in the past had done when they realized how unstable their future would be with him. The only problem was his daughter had grown up knowing that as a fireman, each day could be the last one spent with a loved one. Things would be pretty interesting in the next few hours.

*******************************

Gage cringed as Dixie and Joe Early walked into the treatment room. He was trapped. Maybe if one of the newer resident ER trainees had examined him, he could have pulled it off, but with these two, he didn't stand a chance. Joe's eagle eyes never missed a thing and Dixie knew him so well that she could read him like an open book. All his plans of sleeping in his own bed flew out the window with their arrival.

Joe walked over to the table that Gage lay on and smiled down at him. "Well Johnny, what happened to you this time?"

As Joe began to examine him, Gage answered him. "I um...I kind of blacked out for a few seconds."

Greg who was standing at the door cocked an eyebrow at him. "It was more like a few minutes Doctor Early."

Gage shot Greg a look that could kill.

Dixie glanced back at Greg and smiled. "We can take it from here Greg. Thank you for all your help."

Greg smiled back at her. "Okay Dixie." Just as he was about to pull the door shut behind him, Greg popped his head back in the room. "Take it easy Grandpa." Laughing, he ducked out before Gage could say anything.

Joe looked over at the closed door and frowned. "Who does he think he is calling me Grandpa? I'm not that old am I?"

Gage couldn't keep the grin off his face as he looked Early over. With his silver hair and glasses he looked the part of the quintessential grandfather. "Nah, he's just ribbin' me about being old."

Joe peered over his glasses at Gage and smiled. "You're not even forty yet, you're just a baby."

Gage smiled brightly, feeling vindicated. "Yeah, but you know how it is when you're only in your twenties. You get sort of cocky."

Dixie looked down at him with a teasing smile on her lips. "That sounds exactly like someone I know."

"Aw, come on Dix, when I was his age I never acted like that!"

Joe and Dixie fixed him with stares, then burst out laughing.

"Oh all right, so I was a bit sure of myself."

Joe marked a few things down on a chart and shook his head as he remembered exactly how Gage use to be and still was at times. Headstrong, cocky and opinionated, but he had always managed to balance it out with enough humility and intelligence to make him tolerable when he'd go off on a tangent. It also didn't hurt that he was a likable person to boot. There was something about him from day one that Joe always liked, but could never quite put his finger on.

"So tell me what happened. How did you lose consciousness?"

Gage gave them every detail of the fire and the explosion except he brushed over Donny and Steve's deaths. He didn't want to let them know how horrible it had been. "After Roy and I got out of the building, the last thing I remember was Cap saying something to me. The next thing I know, I have Greg leaning over me checking me out."

Early gave him a thoughtful look and asked a few more questions, each time getting an answer of no from Gage. "Dixie, I want a full blood work up and a skull series." He noticed Gage's look of panic and almost smiled. "Don't worry Johnny, I promise I won't keep you here any longer than necessary."

"Uh huh. You say that every time."

Dixie gave Gage a playful nudge on the shoulder as she grabbed a syringe. "Then quit coming here."

After Dixie sucked enough blood out of him to satisfy a vampire, Gage found himself alone in the treatment room. He knew he was stuck. The one night stay would expand into a week if they couldn't find out what was wrong with him.

He stared at the ceiling above him, then cursed under his breath. Jennifer. He had forgotten all about her. How would she react to this? Did she even know about what happened?

If he knew the gossip mill the way he did, one of the nurses would make sure she knew about it and soon. This would be the test. Did she really love him the way she said she did or would she be like all the rest? Would she leave him the moment she realized that he could die any day, any time?

A feeling of worry gnawed at him. He hadn't even had a chance to take Jennifer out on a date and now maybe that chance would never come. With a heavy heart, he began to prepare himself for the worst.

A small chuckle escaped him. What would be the worst thing in the world to him would make Roy, Joanne and everyone else involved happy as hell. Now all he had to do is wait and see if his life continued on the path he had chosen or would he be forced off the road again.

*******************************

It seemed like it had been an hour since Dixie and Doctor Early had left him in the treatment room. Looking at the clock on the wall, he saw that it had been only a little over fifteen minutes. If time were dragging now, he knew that it would stand still the moment he was placed in a room.

The door opened and in walked Dixie carrying a tray. Setting it down next to the table that he lay on, she gave him an almost motherly look that was quickly replaced by a stern expression. "Johnny how much have you had to eat today?"

Gage thought back, then gave her a guilty look. "I had a cup of coffee this morning."

"And?"

"That's it."

"What about yesterday?"

"Um...some milk, coffee and...half a sandwich."

She frowned and shook her head as she picked up a glass from the tray. "Now I know how you've stayed thin all these years."

She motioned for him to sit up and handed him the glass. It was orange juice. He took a sip, then drained the rest in one long guzzle. Handing the glass back to her, she arched an eyebrow at him. "Do you want to know the results of your blood work?"

Looking at the glass in Dixie's hand, then back at her irritated expression he already knew the answer. He looked down at the floor and mumbled in a guilty voice. "Yeah."

"You have low blood sugar. Combined with the stress of the past few days and you getting thrown around in the explosion, you passed out."

Peeking up at her, he felt a smile coming to his face. "Does that mean I can go home?"

"No."

His head snapped up and his voice rose a fraction. "Why not?! You just said I was fine!"

"No, I said you have low blood sugar. Joe wants to keep you over night for observation."

"Aw man! Come on Dix, let me go home."

"Why? So you can sit around, brood and not eat? You're staying here where I can keep an eye on you." She handed him a plate with a couple of cookies on it.

"You can snack on these for now. As soon as we get you situated in your room, I'll have dinner sent up to you and I expect you to eat every single crumb."

Gage made a face at the thought of eating the hospital food, causing Dixie to smirk at him. "Don't blame me, you're the one that has to learn to eat better."

"I do eat it's just the past few days...I haven't had much of an appetite."

Dixie watched Gage as he munched on a cookie. The shadows beginning to form under his eyes weren't lost on her. "Have things gotten any better?" She was surprised when he smiled at her.

"Roy's talking to me."

"He is?"

"Yeah...well not exactly, but things are better." He gave her a concerned look. "How is he?"

Dixie couldn't help smiling as she spoke. "He's resting comfortably in room 302. Kel thought it would be best if he stayed over night."

Gage smiled back at her. "What room will I be in?"

"The bed next to him is open if you'd like to be his roommate."

"Thanks." Handing the empty plate back to Dixie, he stretched his arms forward, flinching at the pain in his back. He gave Dixie a sheepish look. "Can I have some pain killers?"

She gave him another smile. "Don't worry, that's on the chart. You don't have any broken bones, but you do have some deep bruising on your back and shoulder. That air tank did a nice job on you."

"Yeah, it hurts like a bi...it really smarts when you land on one."

Dixie picked up the tray with the empty glass and plate and left to get a wheelchair.

Things weren't that bad after all. One night in the hospital and then he could go home. He felt a bit embarrassed to find out that it was only stress and lack of food that dropped him like a rock, but he preferred it to the alternative. Now all he had to do was talk with Roy and more importantly, see if Jennifer still wanted to be with him.

*******************************

As soon as the door to the room was opened, Gage knew that Roy would talk to him. As Dixie wheeled him to his bed, he could see the lines of worry on his partners face. If Roy had completely ignored him, he knew he would be up a creek without a paddle. Right now he felt like he was piloting a speed boat. Everything was going to be fine.

Standing, he grabbed the back of his hospital gown to prevent Dixie from getting a view of his backside. He knew she had seen him before, hell she had seen him naked more than most of his girlfriends ever had, but he still had enough modesty to keep himself covered as much as he could.

As he slid under the covers he caught Dixie's smile. Shaking her head, she chuckled good naturedly. "Johnny, what am I going to do with you?"

Wiggling his eyebrows, he gave her a wicked grin in return. "I don't know, you tell me." He immediately froze and peeked over at Roy who shook his head. Gage was surprised to see that he wasn't upset that he was flirting with Dixie. If anything he looked amused.

Dixie pulled the covers up and all but tucked him in. Patting him on the shoulder, she leaned down and whispered in his ear. "You couldn't handle me, Johnny."

He felt his face heating up with a blush. Even though they were only teasing one another, he always managed to get embarrassed. Dixie had a way about her that oozed sex appeal and he knew that she wasn't kidding when she said she'd be a handful. If it weren't for the fact that she was more like an older sister to him, he would have taken her up on one of her 'offers' years ago.

Once he was settled in, Dixie left the room with a promise of dinner and maybe if he were lucky, some ice cream. Turning on his side, he looked over at Roy. "So how're you feeling?"

Roy shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, I'm fine. If it weren't for a certain paramedic telling another paramedic that I blacked out, I'd be back at the station."

Frowning, Gage had the decency to feel a pang of guilt, but it didn't stop him from arguing his case. "Well...you did pass out. I had to practically carry you out of there."

"Carry me?! You didn't carry me. I distinctly remember running under my own power thank you. If it weren't for you dragging me down, I wouldn't have ended up on my butt in the first place."

"I did 'not' drag you down, you collapsed."

"Johnny..." Running a hand over his face, Roy blew out a breath. Gage always seemed to see things one way. His way.

"Look, I'll admit I was disoriented, but I didn't pass out. You were the one laying flat on your back, not me. It took Greg a couple of minutes to bring you around." Roy's expression turned slightly worried. "What exactly happened to you anyway?"

Gage looked down at the floor, feeling like a complete idiot. He mumbled under his breath. "Low blood sugar."

Roy squinted his eyes and tilted his head to the side. "What did you say?"

Looking straight at Roy, he raised his voice. "I had low blood sugar."

"Low blood sugar? How could you have low blood sugar? You eat like a horse."

"I haven't exactly felt like eating much these past few days."

This time it was Roy's turn to feel guilty. He knew the reason for Gage's loss of appetite and he was one of the main causes.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them. Gage knew that he'd have to keep Roy talking if things were to keep getting better. If they could settle things once and for all, maybe life would get back to normal for the both of them. He missed talking to Roy. It had been two days of hell without him being able to tease or joke with his friend. Two days of feeling like a total outsider again.

"Did you call Joanne and let her know what happened?"

"Yeah, I'm glad I got a hold of her before it hit the news. That's all I'd need is for her to sit down and see that."

Shifting in his bed, Gage winced. His back really did hurt. He couldn't wait to get his meds along with dinner. His thoughts turned back to their two fallen comrades. "I wonder who told Donny and Steve's families?"

Roy's looked thoughtful. "I guess Daniels would do it. It's times like this that I'm glad I never took the captain's exam."

"I know what you mean. That'd be a really rough thing to do."

Roy looked over at Gage. It could have been him laying back in the building burned alive. He felt his heart begin to beat faster. Gage could have died, thinking that he hated him. The doubts that had been in his mind were replaced by a reluctant acceptance.

Would it really be all that bad for his daughter to date his best friend? It wasn't like they were going to get married. He shivered involuntarily at the thought. That would make Gage his son-in-law. Now that would be something he didn't know if he could deal with. Then he thought of Jennifer and him having children...he could feel the panic beginning to set in. "Uh Johnny?"

"Yeah?"

"You...I know you and Jennifer...well...you're going to date, but you're not thinking about...you know...marrying her or anything like that?"

It took all he had to not laugh in Roy's face. Sure he had the idea of marriage in mind. He was pushing forty and he wanted to start a family, but he wasn't about to say that to him. He had better keep those thoughts to himself for the time being. There was no reason to get Roy all worked up over something that was a long way off. "Roy, all I want to do is to be able to take Jennifer out. Go hiking or to the movies, stuff like that."

Roy looked back at him in surprise. "You don't want to marry her?"

He couldn't resist teasing Roy. "Do you want me to?" He laughed at the look of total and utter panic that appeared on Roy's face. "Roy, we haven't even gone out on a date yet, I don't think you should be planning a wedding. Besides, what if Jennifer doesn't want to get married yet? She's only twenty-one ya' know."

He said the words, but he already knew how Jennifer felt. She had talked with him so many times in the past year or so, about how she wanted to marry young and have her kids as soon as possible. She wanted to be able to enjoy things with them. Now he knew why. She had him in mind the entire time and he wasn't getting any younger. If he and Jennifer 'were' to marry, children would be the first thing on their list of things to do.

Roy's panicked expression turned to one of relief. "You're right. She is a bit young to be getting married and having kids. I mean, Joanne was...um, I mean I'm not ready to be a granddad just yet."

Roy's panic came rushing back again as a vision of little Gage's running around in the back yard filled his head. Joanne had been barely nineteen when they got married and they had Chris less than a year later. Taking several deep breaths, he willed himself to calm down.

"Roy, are you feeling okay? You look kinda pale."

"Yeah...I'm okay...I'm fine."

"So does this mean you don't mind if I see Jennifer?"

He gave Roy a hopeful look. Roy stared back at him, wondering just what in the hell he was getting himself into.

"No...I guess I don't mind." He pointed a finger at him, his voice rising. "If you do anything to hurt her..."

Raising his hands in front of himself in a defensive gesture, Gage smiled back at him. "You have nothing to worry about. I'll treat her like the princess that she is...Dad."

Roy's face went blank, then he frowned at Gage before smiling. "Don't even think it Junior."

Settling back, Gage sighed in contentment. He finally got Roy's blessing to date Jennifer. There'd be no more guilt or hostility involved. Things would go back to the way they use to be, but he'd have what he finally wanted. Jennifer in his life the way he had wanted her to be.

As soon as he thought about her, the door to their room flung open, followed by Jennifer running in. She practically threw herself into Roy's arms. Apparently someone had told her what had happened. Now he would have to see if she still wanted to be with him.

*******************************

Jennifer tried to appear calm as she walked down the hall toward the room. She counted her blessings that her friend Amy in admittance had told her what had happened at the fire. Her dad wasn't hurt, he was only being kept overnight for observation. When she had heard of the deaths of the two other men, all she could think of is what if it had been him?

Her thoughts shifted to Gage. Amy hadn't said anything about him, so she assumed that he was back at the station. At first she was surprised that he hadn't come to see her and tell her what had happened, but she knew that if he were on call, he couldn't take the time out to chit chat. All the years of watching her mom hang the phone up without getting to finish a conversation with her dad had taught her that.

The closer she got to the room, the faster her heart beat. Her dad could have died. He'd never get to see her marry or have a family. He'd be gone forever.

Shoving the door open, her sight narrowed down to Roy laying in bed. The moment his eyes made contact with hers, she lost it. Rushing forward, she grabbed him in a tight hug, thanking God that he wasn't the one dead.

It made her feel guilty thinking it, knowing that someone else was grieving, but she didn't care, her dad was alive and safe. Blinking hard, she held her tears back. She swore she wouldn't cry.

Roy held her, rubbing his hand over her back in soothing circles. "It's okay Jennifer, I'm okay."

"I know." She took a shuddering breath. "Amy told me and I came right down. Did you call Mom and Chris or do you want me to?"

"I already called her. She'll be here as soon as she gets a hold of Chris."

Taking a deep breath, she let out a shaky sigh as she let go of her hold around his neck. The tears that she had tried to hold back, slipped out and slid their way down her cheeks. She wiped a hand hurriedly across her face. She was getting too old to be crying like a baby. She'd seen him hurt before, she should have been use to it by now.

As she went to sit on the edge of the bed, she saw Gage calmly looking at her from the other bed. Her voice was a shrill yell. "What are you doing here?!"

Forcing a fake smile to his face, Gage tried to keep things light. "I'm visiting your dad."

She looked from him, then at her dad and then back to him again. She could have lost the both of them. One run and two of the people that she loved the most in her life would be gone forever.

She didn't care what her dad thought as she stood and moved to the other bed. Standing over Gage, she frowned down at him, her voice quivering from barely restrained anger mixed with fear.

"When were you going to tell me, Johnny?"

"I was going to page you after your shift was over."

Crossing her arms, she gave him a look of disapproval. "That's not for another hour or so. What if someone else had told me?"

She looked back at Roy, the anger growing. "And for that matter, why didn't 'you' tell me?"

Roy looked uneasy. Jennifer acted too much like Joanne when she was about to begin a lecture. "I was going to have your mom come up and tell you."

She looked at the two men as they fidgeted nervously before her. She felt like reaching out and smacking the both of them upside the head. She wasn't a little girl who needed to be protected from the harsh realities of life. They should have told her right away. Just as she opened her mouth to yell at them, the door to the room opened and Dixie of all people came in with a dinner tray.

"Well hello there Jennifer, I see you've met our star patients."

Dixie moved past her and went about setting the tray up in front of Gage. He glanced at Jennifer, then quickly chose to inspect the meal sitting before him.

Gage frowned at the plate of food. Taking a fork, he poked at what was supposedly chicken, then he pushed at a pile of peas. There was something similar to stuffing next to the chicken, but he couldn't decide what it was. The standard cup of Jell-O and container of juice were there as well. True to Dixie's words, there was a large bowl of ice cream on the tray as well.

Dixie frowned at Gage as he inspected his meal. "Does everything meet your standards Sir?"

Gage looked up at Dixie, the sarcasm in her voice totally lost on him. "What's this?" He poked at the small pile of mystery food next to the chicken.

"It's stuffing."

"No really Dix, what is it?"

Reaching forward, she snatched the fork from his hand and scooped some of it up. "Open your mouth."

"Uh uh. That is 'not' stuffing. I know what stuffing looks like." He looked over at Roy. "Joanne makes great stuffing. Remember last Thanksgiving when she..."

Dixie cleared her throat, bringing Gage's attention back to her. "You need to eat. Remember what I said to you downstairs? Every last bite. If you don't, I'll make sure they feed you intravenously."

Gage caught the gleam in Dixie's eye and immediately knew she wasn't playing around. Reaching out, he took the fork from her and shoveled the food in. Making a face, he quickly swallowed it. "Man, this is awful!"

Jennifer looked at Gage, the anger returning. He was trying to side track her. She'd watched him do it for years with her mom and dad and now he was trying to do it with her. Maybe everyone else fell for his tricks, but she wouldn't. "Excuse me! Why are you here!"

Three pairs of eyes looked back at her.

Dixie smirked slightly before excusing herself. "I'll be back in a bit to pick up that 'empty' plate."

Roy slouched down in bed, pulling the covers up, the smile in his eyes never reached his face as he clamped his lips tightly shut. Jennifer was about to grill Gage and he was going to get to sit back and enjoy the show.

Gage looked over at Roy, his eyes pleading for help. As he saw the look on Roy's face, he knew he was sunk. Looking back at Jennifer, he gave her a small smile as he stabbed a piece of the chicken and popped it in his mouth. Chewing slowly, he tried to think of a way to tell her without sounding like a complete idiot.

*******************************

Slowly chewing, Gage could see that Jennifer was about to either burst into tears or yell at him, but he couldn't tell which. Until recently he had never had to deal with her on such an intimate emotional level. Before it had always been balanced out with him being the uncle who granted her every wish or whim and her being the favored niece who loved him no matter what. He never had to deal with saying no or doing something that would disappoint or upset her. Swallowing, he took a sip of juice before speaking. His mouth suddenly felt dry. "I'm here because I kind of...blacked out."

Her voice had a higher pitch than normal. "From what?!"

Looking at Roy, he could see that his partner was enjoying his predicament. If he were going to have a relationship with Jennifer, then he'd also have to deal with everything else that went along with it.

Deep down inside he knew he wasn't prepared for this. He never had to worry about what his girlfriend would say about his job, because frankly he didn't care.

Jennifer on the other hand was different. She had grown up being surrounded by the department. She knew what to expect and what was involved in a relationship with a fireman. The only reason why things wouldn't work out would be because of him and there was no way he was going to screw this one up. He had waited way too long for this. "I had low blood sugar from not eating enough." He said it blandly, like it was an everyday occurrence.

Jennifer narrowed her eyes as she looked at Gage. "Wait a minute. You're telling me that you're in here because you passed out because you didn't eat enough?"

"Uh huh."

The look of relief that he was expecting never came. Instead she took a step forward and yelled at him while she poked a finger in his chest. "You're telling me, you almost got yourself killed because you didn't eat?! What's the matter with you?! You're a grown man, you should know better!"

"Um Jen...hon..."

"Don't you hon me, John Gage."

Roy let out a small snort, barely concealing his laughter. Jennifer spun on her heel and gave him a withering glare. "You think it's funny? You and he could have both died and you're laughing? Wait until Mom gets here and we'll see how funny you think it is."

Roy went to yell at his daughter for being smart with him, then it hit him. She was right. When Joanne found out all the little details, she wasn't going to be a happy camper. If anything, he was on the hot seat and when Joanne wanted to be a bitch, she could do it well.

Jennifer turned back to Gage. He wore a dejected puppy dog face, the one that he used to wheedle and spin his way into getting anything he wanted. It was hard ignoring him when he was like this, looking all cute and hurt, but she knew if she let him get away with it, he'd keep doing it for as long as they were together. Considering she planned on being with him the rest of her life, she was going to put a stop to it now. "Oh no you don't, you can't fool me. You know you're wrong and I don't feel the least bit sorry for you." She knew exactly where to hit him. "I think I'll tell Dixie that you complained about being dizzy. She'll make sure they keep you here for a day or two."

Gage frowned, then smiled. "Go ahead. I'm sure your 'dad' will tell Dixie the truth."

"Not if I tell her that 'Dad' wasn't feeling all that well either and that you're both trying to cover for each other because neither one of you wants to stay here."

His face fell. She was playing dirty. "You wouldn't."

"Wanna bet?" She ran a hand through her hair, brushing it back off her face. She couldn't help but notice how his eyes followed her movements. Some times he was such a dog. She didn't mind though. Even if she were mad at him, at least he was looking at her and not some crummy nurse.

His response caught her off guard. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I said I'm sorry. It's just that I haven't felt like eating much lately because of everything that's been going on and it kinda' caught up with me when I least expected it."

Roy looked at Gage in surprise. He was being totally honest and open. No bluffing or hiding behind excuses were being given. This wasn't the John Gage that he knew. The man he knew wouldn't have lied, but he would have stepped around the real reason why he did what he did.

He looked from Gage to Jennifer and then back again. Come to think of it, he had always given Jennifer straight, direct answers for as long as he could remember. Jennifer's response startled him as well.

"Okay, I accept your apology." She waggled a finger at him. "I expect you to eat from now on and when you aren't feeling good, you have to tell me. Deal?"

"Deal."

Reaching down, she took one of his hands in hers, intertwining their fingers. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, she gave him a small smile. "So you're only here overnight?"

"That's what Dixie tells me."

"Do you maybe want to go out to dinner tomorrow? Being that you haven't been eating right."

"Dinner? I guess it'd be okay." He looked over at Roy. "Would it be okay if we went out to dinner tomorrow night?"

Roy froze. Gage had put him on the spot and was testing him at the same time. "Uh...sure...dinner sounds fine."

Jennifer could see her father's discomfort. She could also see that Gage was enjoying this moment a little too much. "How about you and Mom join us? We could make it a foursome."

Gage's hold on her hand tightened. She smiled innocently back at him.

"Well, I don't know. Wouldn't you and Johnny like to have dinner alone?"

She waved a hand at him. "We can go out alone another time."

Roy noticed the teasing smile on Jennifer's lips and the look of disappointment on Gage's face. He choked back a smile of his own. She was tormenting Gage. That was his daughter, a chip off the old block.

"That's okay pumpkin, your mom and I can go out to eat with you some other time."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

The door to the room opened, revealing a harried looking Joanne. She pause briefly as she saw Jennifer standing by Gage's bedside holding his hand. Moving forward, she enveloped Roy in a tight hug.

Gage felt like he was intruding as he watched Joanne and Roy hold one another. When she finally let go of Roy, she dug through her purse and quickly wiped the tears from her face. "I'm sorry...it's...you understand Johnny."

Nodding his head yes, he gave Jennifer's hand a squeeze. He wondered how many times he would put her through something like this. Would she be this strong all the time? How would she act if something serious ever happened to him?

Jennifer could see the look of worry that came across Gage's face. Giving his hand a small tug, she leaned closer to him and smiled. Everything was fine, there was no reason for him to feel down or upset about anything any more. She decided to move the conversation away from them and the accident. "Mom, where's Chris?"

Joanne made a tired face and smiled. "I don't know. He left this morning to go to the beach with some friends. He was supposed to be home by now."

Johnny smiled and shrugged his shoulders. Chris was a lot like him in that respect as well. He was always on the run and never without a date or in the pursuit of one. "You know how Chris is. He's probably still at the beach chasing...um...swimming."

Joanne smirked at Gage. She knew as well as he did that Chris didn't go to the beach to play in the surf. "You're probably right. I left a message on his answering machine. Hopefully he'll hear it before someone tells him about all of this. You know how these things get blown out of proportion."

Gage nodded in understanding. One time he had been injured on a run and by the time the rumors had gone around some of the stations, he had been mangled, maimed and left for dead, when in reality all he had was a dislocated shoulder and a broken arm.

Joanne pulled up a chair and sat close to Roy's bed, envying the way Jennifer was able to stay close to Gage. She looked relaxed as she leaned against the bed, her hand still firmly wrapped around his. She knew without a doubt that Roy loved her, but he wasn't into public displays of affection. Gage was more touchy feely and it appeared that he would have no problem in letting people know how he felt about Jennifer.

They talked about everything and anything, but they all avoided talking about the upcoming funerals, preferring to focus on every day life.

Joanne was a bit shocked when Jennifer informed her of her plans to go out to dinner the next night and she was even more surprised that Roy took it all in stride.

It was strange how things had changed within the past week. One moment they were all a happy family, then the next things were torn apart by the change in Gage's relationship with Jennifer. Now it was if nothing had happened as they eased back into a normal conversation about mundane everyday things. Joanne accepted it all. What else could she do?

*******************************

Jennifer rushed around her room looking frantically for a gold hair clip that she wanted to wear. Kneeling on the floor, she looked under the bed. Her face lit up in a triumphant smile as she spied the small box that she kept some of her hair things in.

Pulling the box out, she dumped the contents on the carpet and immediately found the clip. Snatching it from the pile, she pulled her hair back and fastened it in place.

She looked at the mess on the floor that she had created in getting ready for her first real date with Gage. The clips and bows on the floor had joined various pants, jeans and shirts. She had even gone as far as trying on different bras.

Not that she expected him to try anything with her so soon, but she wanted to be prepared if he did. It would have been too embarrassing if she were caught wearing an old dingy bra the first time she ever made out with him.

Looking at the clock on the dresser, she jumped to her feet. He would be coming to pick her up any minute. Grabbing a pair of sandals, she jammed them on, flinching as the tender skin between her toes made contact with the stiff leather.

"Okay Jen, slow down. It's only dinner." Taking a deep breath, she shook her hands out, trying to get rid of the bad case of the jitters that she had.

She was finally going to get to go out on a real date with Gage. No mom or dad, no Chris or anyone else for that matter was going with her. It would be only her and him, sitting alone, eating dinner.

They had decided on something casual and picked a small restaurant by the beach. Neither one had wanted to make this night overly stressful or romantic, all they wanted was a chance to spend some time together. She squealed happily as she did a little dance around the room.

Checking her appearance in the mirror over the dresser, Jennifer smiled at her reflection. She had to admit to herself that she looked pretty damn good.

Her hair hung over her shoulders and down her back looking like a shiny mass of gold. Her jeans were faded to just the right shade and fit her like a glove without making it hard to breath. She picked at the tight low cut white shirt that she had picked out, wondering if she should have worn something less revealing.

Just as she opened the door to the closet to look at another shirt, she heard the sound of a car pulling up out front. Racing to the window, she grinned as she watched Gage step out of the Rover and walk up to the house.

He wore a pair of faded comfortable jeans, boots and a white polo shirt. Snickering, she backed away from the window. Her white shirt would stay. She knew it would annoy her dad that she and Gage would be wearing matching clothes.

She almost grabbed her boots from the closet to wear, but they made her feet hurt and it was way too hot for them. Comfort won out over irritating her dad.

The door bell rang and she practically flew down the stairs, yelling as she ran for the door. "I got it!"

Grabbing the doorknob, she smiled as she jerked the door open. "Hi Johnny, come on in."

Her smile grew wider as she watched him walk into the house. He was looking her over like she was a horse he was about to buy. She should have been offended, but instead, she was giddy. He definitely didn't think of her as a little girl any more.

*******************************

The nervousness that he had felt all day settled into a feeling of happiness. The realization that he was going on an actual date with Jennifer and not going out to dinner with the family had finally sunk in.

Roy and Joanne wouldn't be going with them. He hadn't even seen Chris to know what he thought of all of this and frankly he had reached the point that he didn't care what Chris or anyone else thought. He had Roy's approval and that was all that mattered.

Pulling up front of the house, he stepped out of the Rover and made his way up the sidewalk. Taking a deep breath, he combed his fingers through his hair, hoping he looked presentable.

Ringing the doorbell, he expected to wait a minute or two, but the door swung open immediately. Jennifer stood at the entrance, her lips moved, but he didn't hear what she said as he walked into the house. All he could do was stare at her.

Her jeans fit like a well worn glove. His eyes rested on her breasts that strained against the material of the tight white top that she wore. The crowning glory of it all was her hair. The golden mass that was pulled back from her face cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. He wanted to grabbed her and nuzzle his face into it's softness, wrap his fingers through it as he kissed the flesh of her neck.

The room was getting a bit hot. Clearing his throat, he finally greeted her. "Jen...are you ready for dinner?"

"Oh, I'm more than ready Johnny."

He didn't mistake the double meaning of her words and grinned back at her like a fool. Shaking his head, he lowered his voice. "Don't let your dad hear you say that."

She gave him an innocent look. "Say what?"

"You know exactly what. If they catch you talking like that, I'll be eating dinner alone."

"Okay, I'll watch what I say around them. Will that make you happy?"

"What would make me happy is us going. I'm starved!"

"And whose fault is that?"

He gave her an exasperated look. He knew she would never let him forget that he could have died if he had passed out in the building. A dark feeling began to settle over him as he thought of the funerals that would be held the next day. Two men from the same department being buried on the same day. It would be a large somber affair and he didn't know if he was ready to deal with it. Thank God, he wasn't involved in any of the ceremonies.

"Johnny?"

He blinked as he realized that he had been staring off into space. "Sorry...I was thinking about tomorrow."

Taking his hand in hers, she began pulling him toward the kitchen. "Don't think about it. We're going to have a nice dinner together, then a walk on the beach. Let's go and say good bye to mom and dad.

He let himself be lead into the kitchen, resisting the urge to pull his hand from hers as he watched Roy look first at their joined hands and then at his daughters tight shirt.

As Joanne looked up from the carrots she was cutting, her hands stilled as she took in the sight before her.

Wiping her hands off on a dishtowel, Joanne looked pointedly at Jennifer's shirt. "Honey, don't you think you should wear something warmer?"

"I'm not cold."

"Maybe you should go get that blue sweater you bought last week just in case."

"But Mom..."

Gage removed his hand from Jennifer's hold and pushed her gently toward the living room. "Go ahead and get it."

Rolling her eyes, Jennifer stomped from the room, wishing her parents would start treating her like the grown up that she was.

Gage smiled nervously at the two of them as they took in his casual dress. "We're going to that place on the beach."

Roy's voice was bland. "Which beach is that?"

"Venice. You know the one where we had that rescue a few weeks back. The scalded waitress."

Roy relaxed slightly. It was a seafood place. Not in the least bit romantic. He remembered that the tables had been covered in paper, the decorations plain. "I remember it. They were supposed to have good food."

Before Joanne could say anything, Jennifer bounced back into the room, the sweater hanging over her arm.

"Okay, let's go Johnny, I'm hungry." She rushed forward and gave Roy and Joanne quick kisses on the cheeks. "We won't be late, I have to get to work early tomorrow so I can take time off for the funeral. 'Bye!"

Grabbing Gage by the hand she proceeded to pull him from the room, his goodbye lost as they made their way out of the house.

Gage laughed as he pulled at Jennifer's hand. "Slow down! They're not going to tie us up and keep us from going out."

Jennifer pulled him forward again. "You don't know mom as well as you think you do."

"Jennifer, you're being ridiculous."

"No, I want to go to dinner, not play dress up."

Letting go of his hand, she stood by the passenger side of the Rover. She smiled as he opened the door and ushered her in with the wave of his hand. Climbing in, she settled happily back against the seat. Her smile widened as he got in. Their first date had officially begun.

*******************************

As they walked into the restaurant, Jennifer felt goose bumps appear on her skin as Gage placed a palm against her lower back and directed her to their table. Her nerves were on edge. Thinking of going on a date was one thing, but actually doing it was another.

As always, he pulled a chair out for her. Sitting down, she looked directly across the table at him as he took his place. They both quietly regarded one another. Gage was the first one to break the silence. "Nervous?"

His eyes indicated the napkin she was twisting between her hands. Dropping it, Jennifer giggled. "A little. It's nice, but it feels kind of...weird. Not in a bad way, but I feel like I have to watch what I'm doing in case someone we know comes here."

"I know what you mean. I keep waiting for your mom and dad to come running in here, saying they've changed their minds."

Picking up their menus, they tried to decide what to eat. The silence between them began to worry Jennifer. Usually Gage had to be told to shut up, the energy of the man never seemed to stop. Now he remained silent, occasionally peeking over at her.

A feeling of dread started in the pit of her stomach. Him not talking was definitely a bad sign. She dropped the menu on the table and spoke at the same time as he did.

"Johnny, you're not..."

"Jen, you're not..."

They stopped speaking and looked cautiously at one another.

"You first Johnny."

"No, ladies first."

She breathed in deeply trying to keep her emotions in control. "You're not having second thoughts are you?"

He leaned back in his chair and laughed. "Man, we're quite a pair."

She gave him a confused look.

Reaching across the table, he took her hands in his. "I was going to ask you the same question. You've been so quiet...I thought maybe you changed your mind...about us."

"I thought you were thinking the same thing." Squeezing his hands, she smiled brightly. "How about we stop second guessing ourselves and order dinner."

Giving her hands a squeeze back, he withdrew them and picked the menu back up. "That sounds like a plan."

*******************************

They ordered dinner and drinks, then chatted the way they always had. By the time dinner arrived they were both starving.

Gage grinned as he picked up a crab from the large plate they shared. "This better be good. I'm so hungry I was about to pass out..." His voice trailed off and he shrugged his shoulders as Jennifer cast a pointed glare at him.

"We're not going to have to have another talk are we?"

He shook his head no as he popped a hunk of crab meat in his mouth. He decided it would be safer to shut up and eat.

*******************************

Jennifer picked up a crab, then dropped it back on the platter. "I can't eat another bite. I'm stuffed." She looked at the mess they had made of the table. Shells lay strewn across the surface practically covering it.

Gage quickly swallowed the food in his mouth. He knew he had a habit of talking with his mouth full and now was as good as a time as any to try and stop doing it. "I hope you don't mind..." He plucked the crab up that she had dropped. "...but I'm still hungry."

Jennifer grinned at him and shook her head. "I don't know how you do it. You eat three times as much as dad, but you never gain any weight."

Cracking open a claw, he smiled back at her. "I do a lot of physical activities that your dad doesn't do."

She stared back at him, her mind wandering off to think just what those activities would be and if maybe she would play a part in them. Gage's laughter caught her off guard.

"Jennifer DeSoto, you are one nasty minded girl."

She could feel her face heating up from the blush that slowly stained her cheeks. "What do you mean?"

"I was talking about hiking and running, not..." He gestured about with his hands throwing crab juice around. Setting the claw on his plate, he grabbed a napkin and wiped his hands off.

Jennifer's voice rose slightly in indignation at having been caught thinking what she had been thinking. "I wasn't thinking about 'that'!"

"Yeah right. Then why're you blushing?"

"I'm 'not' blushing!"

His smile was blinding as he shook his head yes. "You are too blushing and might I add it looks very nice on you."

Tucking her head down, she slowly raised her eyes to look at him. Pushing a sandal off, she ran a bare foot up one of his jean clad legs. His smile faded to a curious look that was mingled with something else. Edging her foot up further, she smiled at him.

"I'm not blushing."

She grinned as he grabbed her foot before she could go any higher. "What's the matter Johnny?"

The hint of a sultry smile appeared on his lips, sending shivers down her spine. "Not here."

She slowly pulled her foot from his grasp, then leaned forward and rested her chin in her hands. She resisted the urge to ask when and where, but she knew it would make her look too eager...too trampy. "When you're done eating can we go for a walk on the beach?"

She saw him look out the window, then he smiled at her, a look of mischief in his eyes made her look out the window as well. It was dark outside. Looking down at her watch, she found that they had been sitting there for longer than she had thought. A feeling of nervous excitement began to build inside her.

He gave her another smile. "I think a walk would be just the thing we need. You do know that exercise is good for digesting food."

He signaled for the waiter to bring the bill and waved her off when she opened her purse. "Don't even try it. When you're with me, I'm buying."

"What's the matter Johnny? Can't stand the idea of a woman buying dinner?"

"Not if that woman is 'my' date."

Jennifer let the subject drop. She knew that in some ways Gage was extremely old fashioned. If he wanted to pay for their dinner, then she'd let him. She'd figure out a way to even things up another time without him ever knowing.

Paying the waiter, he stood and pulled her chair out for her. Taking her hand, they walked out of the restaurant and onto the beach. As they made their way down to the water's edge, Jennifer knew exactly how some of her payment would be made and it wouldn't cost her a cent.

*******************************

They walked down the beach, staying close to the waves as they rushed onto the shore. Jennifer stopped and took her sandals off, enjoying the feel of the cool sand as she walked on it.

It felt perfectly natural for them to be strolling hand in hand like any other couple would. She still found it hard to believe that it was real. He was with her as her boyfriend not her uncle.

Her face screwed up in a thoughtful look. Glancing at him, she decided that calling him her boyfriend seemed a bit ridiculous. He was far from being a boy and it just didn't sound right. "Johnny, how do you want me to introduce you to people?"

"Huh?"

"You know. When we go places what do you want me to tell people?"

"I hadn't thought about that." He grinned. "How about...this is John."

She smacked him on the arm with the sandals, then quickly pulled her hand from his to wipe the sand from his skin.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get you dirty." She looked up at him, her expression serious. "No really Johnny. It doesn't feel right me saying you're my boyfriend."

"Why? Because I'm so ancient?"

He dodged another swipe at him with the sandals.

"You know why! It just doesn't seem right."

"I'm serious Jen, just introduce me as John or Johnny, whatever. People will figure things out for themselves." His voice lowered to a teasing whisper. "Besides, they're all going to call me cradle robber anyway."

Gage jumped away from Jennifer, anticipating her taking another swing at him. She on the other hand didn't prepare for him moving away so fast. Stumbling forward, she fell down, yelping in shock as a cold wave of water splashed over her.

Looking up, she glared at Gage who could only stare at her in surprise. When he began laughing, she threw her sandals at him, watching as he ducked and moved, effectively avoiding them. Leaning his hands on his thighs, he smiled down at her. "You know you're beautiful when you're wet and mad."

"This isn't funny."

Tears of embarrassment began to form in her eyes. She ruined the entire evening by being a klutz, but what made matters worse was the fact that he was laughing at her, adding insult to injury. She'd fix him. "Are you going to just stand there and laugh at me or are you going to help me up?"

He took a hesitant step in her direction. "You're not going to splash me are you?"

Rolling her eyes, she yelled at him. "No, I'm not going to 'splash' you!"

Reaching down, he grabbed her outstretched hand, yelling in surprise as she jerked him forward, bringing him down into the surf beside her. "Hey!!!"

She grinned evilly as he rolled over and sat up. At first she thought he was going to yell at her, instead he smiled.

"I guess I deserved that."

"Yes, you did. You shouldn't have laughed at me."

Standing, he shook the water from his arms, then frowned as he looked at a wave rolling over his boot tops. Shaking his head, he reached down and easily pulled her up.

After taking a few steps forward, he unceremoniously flopped down in the sand and pulled his boots off. As he peeled his socks off, he looked up and gave her a teasing smile. "You feel like taking a swim?"

She looked down at him, her voice squeaking as she spoke. "Now?"

"Yeah."

"I, uh...I don't have my bathing suit."

"Neither do I."

She could tell he was playing with her. She knew he thought she wouldn't take him up on his offer. Looking at him, then to the waters edge and then back at him, she gave him a small smile. "Okay."

She reached down and pulled her shirt off, grateful that she had decided to wear a new bra after all. She laughed inwardly as Gage's mouth dropped open. Her fingers shook slightly as she unbuttoned her jeans.

"Jen."

She began to slowly unzip them, then stopped. "If you're going to swim Johnny, you have to take off your clothes."

She walked away from him as she shimmied her way out of the wet jeans, hoping that he didn't see how nervous she really was. He was probably use to women undressing in front of him, but the only man she had ever undressed for was her doctor and he left her alone with a nurse when it came down to her completely disrobing.

Looking back over her shoulder, she turned and gawked at Gage as he stood and pulled his shirt off and dropped it to the ground next to her shirt. Her eyes were instinctively drawn to his hands as he undid his jeans and pulled them down and off, taking his boxers with them. She stared at him, not knowing what to say or do as he walked toward her.

When he stopped directly in front of her, she looked away, her voice showing her nervousness. "I...do you want me to...I mean..."

Talking her chin, he directed her to look him in the eye. She couldn't help, but peek down. She could feel another blush coming on.

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

With shaking hands, she reached behind her back and undid the clasp of her bra. She looked around, praying to God that no one else was out on the beach at this time of night. As she slid a skimpy strap from her shoulder, Gage moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her shivering figure.

Her breaths came in short pants as he hooked a finger around the remaining strap. She heard the bra make a soft sound as it fell to the ground. She couldn't believe she was doing this. With him! It was what she wanted wasn't it?

All her thoughts faded as he cupped her chin and brought her face up, his lips gently caressing hers. Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

Maybe it wasn't right, but it sure felt like it was and for once she was going to follow how she felt, rather than doing what she thought would be the right thing to do.

*******************************

Gage felt his mouth drop open as Jennifer peeled her shirt off and dropped it to the ground. When she reached for the button of her jeans, he thought he was going to have a heart attack.

He hadn't thought that she would be so bold, so ready to move things forward between them. Yes he wanted her, but he was surprised that it was going to happen so soon.

He said her name and she teased him, daring him to join her. If that was what she wanted, he sure in the hell wasn't going to argue with her.

He kept his eyes locked on her as she moved away and pulled her jeans off. In the darkness that was softly illuminated by the moonlight, he could make out the lines of her body, the curve of a hip. Standing, he watched her turn to look at him. Reaching down he pulled his shirt off and dropped it to the ground.

He stared at her, trying not to smile. She was standing completely still, clad in only her underwear. He decided it was time for him to take charge of the situation. She had called his bluff and then some, now he was going to throw his cards on the table and see if she would up the bid.

Reaching down, he undid the button of his jeans. Unzipping them, he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down and off along with the jeans. He got the reaction he was looking for.

Walking toward her, he could tell she was trying to not stare at him or specifically a certain part of his anatomy. He always loved the first time with any woman he had been with. The excitement of seeing them exposed, the way they would look at him, appraising him like he was a side of beef they were buying at the market.

Jennifer seemed more timid, more reserved. He had to remember that she probably wasn't all that experienced and the fact that it was him would make things different as well.

Standing directly in front of her, he urged her to join him. She hesitated, then began to undo her bra with agonizing slowness. Again he wasn't use to it being like this. Lately it seemed the woman he had been with had grown more aggressive, ready to screw at the drop of a hat. Jennifer's hesitation was driving him crazy.

Running a finger under the remaining bra strap, he pulled the flimsy material away and let it drop to the ground. Taking her chin, he drew her toward him, kissing her lips gently. Then Jennifer made the kiss more demanding, sexier. He drew her tongue into his mouth as her arms wrapped themselves tightly around his neck.

Sliding his hands down the curve of her back, he cupped her ass, pulling her tightly against him, letting her know exactly how much he wanted her. He trailed kisses down her neck as Jennifer skimmed her hands down his back barely touching him. When he nibbled at the of juncture of her neck and collarbone, she dug her fingers into his back.

Gasping, he jerked away from her, the pain causing stars to appear before his eyes. Jennifer almost fell to the ground as he had pushed her roughly away.

Arching his back, he took deep breaths as he waited for the pain to subside. Jennifer rushed over to him, wanting to comfort him, but at the same time afraid to touch him. "Johnny...I'm sorry! I forgot! Damn. I'm sooo sorry."

Leaning forward, he rested his hands on his thighs and tried to relax. "It's okay Jen, you're not the only one who forgot."

She looked at his back, noticing the dark bruises that mottled his skin. Making sure he wasn't paying attention to what she was doing, she leaning back slightly to get a better look at his ass. She couldn't help smirking. It was just as cute naked as it was in tight fitting denim.

"Jen!" Gage's voice was indignant as he straightened and turned to look at her. "I can't believe you. Here I am, in great pain mind you, and you're checkin' out my butt!."

She smiled, then let her eyes drop downward. "Wellll..."

Gage crossed his arms and looked pointedly at her breasts, which she promptly covered by crossing her arms. She stuck her tongue out at him, then walked away, keeping the image of his body in her minds eye.

Grabbing her jeans from the ground, she shook them out and began pulling them on, frowning as the sand rubbed against her skin.

Picking up Gage's jeans she walked over and held them out to him. He took them from her and smiled as she quickly turned away after looking downward again.

She found both their shirts and pulled hers on. Walking back to Gage, she held onto his shirt until he got his jeans pulled on.

He looked out at the ocean and sighed. "Well, so much for swimming."

Handing him his shirt she couldn't help feeling both relieved and disappointed. "We can always come back when you're all better." She smiled at him, watching his hands as they tucked the shirt in.

When he buttoned and zipped his jeans, she vowed to herself that they had to come back here some time to finish what they had started.

Reaching down, she plucked the bra and sandals up, clutching them tightly in her hands. She really did want to do it with him. The not knowing what it was all about, the wanting to know him in a way that seemingly hundreds of other women had, it irritated her to no end.

With a disappointed sigh, she took his outstretched hand and followed him back to the restaurant parking lot, into the Rover and then they headed back home.

*******************************

Pulling the Rover up to the DeSoto's, Gage reluctantly left the motor running. He wasn't about to go into the house and let Roy and Joanne see him in damp sand covered clothing. He knew they would get the wrong idea and freak out on him. Jennifer had voiced the same thoughts on their way to the house and between the two of them it was decided that it would be easier for her to 'sneak in' and go to bed.

He could see that she was reluctant to go. Hell, he didn't want her to go! He would have rather taken her back to his place and made love to her all night. Then his thoughts turned to the next day and all ideas of love disappeared. They had funerals to attend. "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."

Jennifer looked down at her lap, feeling guilt and shame. Here she was contemplating how she could get him to make out with her in the Rover and he was thinking about the funerals. She had forgotten all about them.

How could she have been thinking what she was thinking when there were two fireman that were to be buried the next day? Two men that could have easily been her dad and the man sitting beside her.

"I'll be there. I have to work, but they understand...I'll get there as soon as possible. I have to make the service."

Leaning across the seat she gave Gage a subdued good night kiss. Getting out, she made her way up the front walk. Waving to him from the door, she watched as the Rover pulled away from the curb and quickly disappeared into the night. Walking into the house, she closed the door, relieved to find no one waiting for her.

Tip toeing her way up to the bathroom, she quickly disrobed and showered, happy to get the sandy grit off of her skin. She started giggling as she thought of where the sand would have gone if she and Gage had gotten to the point of making love on the beach.

Her giggling faded and she admonished herself. Five minutes hadn't gone by and she had already forgotten about the funerals again.

Depositing her clothes in the hamper, she quickly dried off and made her way to her room. What in the hell was the matter with her? How could she be thinking the things she was thinking at a time like this?

Snatching her personal journal from its new hiding place, she quickly wrote down her thoughts and feelings before laying back and slipping into a restless slumber.

*******************************

Standing in front of the mirror, Gage wondered for the ninth time if he should have gotten his hair trimmed. Placing the hat on his head, he frowned. Adjusting it several times, he sighed in frustration before taking the hat and flinging it across the room.

He hated wearing his uniform hat. They had told him over and over again that it was the right size, but no matter how many times he wore it, he knew it didn't fit right and today he wanted to look his best. He had too.

His eyes went to the newspaper that lay folded on the bed. There had been an article in the back pages covering the warehouse fire. Small words that meant virtually nothing to him.

The reporter could have gone on forever about the bravery of Donny and Steve, but what good would it have done? Nothing would bring the two men back to life. They would have to be remembered through the actions of others. He would be one of many who would make sure the two fallen comrades were never forgotten.

Bringing a leg up, he quickly repolished a shoe, then he walked over and picked the hat up, tucking it under his arm. As he made his way out of the room and down the stairs, he listened to the sounds around him. Or the lack of them. He could hear the birds outside, a breeze blowing through the leaves of the tree by one of the side windows, but it was still too quiet.

Walking into the living room he looked around. Everything was tidy and neat, giving the appearance of a home more suited to a country magazine than that of a bachelor.

He hated to admit it to himself, but he had become rather anal when it came to his house. Everything had a place. Everything was centered and neat. When in the hell had he become a neat freak? He knew he had too much time on his hands.

Then his thoughts went to Jennifer. If they eventually did go beyond the dating stage she would make the house into a home. There would be a family here instead of one person rambling about in a big empty house. He could easily picture himself playing with his own children in this room the same way he had when Jennifer and Chris were little.

Walking over to the fireplace he looked at a photo resting on the mantel. Chris was in his turnouts standing between himself and Roy. He remembered running to his locker, grabbing his camera and shoving it into Chet's hands, asking him to take the picture.

Chris had been substituting for Marco for some reason or another and they had just returned to the station after a run. It wasn't every day that all three of them got to work together and he didn't know when it would happen again. Chris and Roy had hemmed and hawed for a few minutes before letting Chet snap the photo.

He still hadn't gotten a chance to see how Chris had taken the news of him and Jennifer being together. Roy and Joanne hadn't mentioned anything and Jennifer hadn't said a peep about what Chris thought. Maybe he didn't care. It would be nice if he would be one of the few people to accept them without any problem. He'd find out today. Chris would be at the DeSoto's.

They were all going as a large group to the church for the funeral mass. The families had agreed to have Donny and Steve's services together, then Donny would be taken to his family plot, while Steve's ashes would remain with his family to be taken back home with them.

Gage grimaced as he thought of an urn resting on his mantel. How would he feel if it were him burying a son? What type of agony would it be for Steve's parents to see the brass container, day after day, year after year, knowing that their son's ashes were in it?

Turning away from the fireplace, he made his way out of the house and hopped into the Rover. Tossing the hat on the seat beside him, he drove to the DeSoto's, his mind playing over the explosion and the deaths of Donny and Steve.

Tightly gripping the steering wheel, he tried to block out the sound of Donny's screams of agony. Why couldn't he have died like Steve? Quickly, without ever knowing what had happened. Why did he have to suffer through the horror that he did before finally dying?

He hoped that when his time came it would be quick. The idea of being pinned beneath flames, his skin and flesh slowly burning away...he shuddered and rolled the window down taking deep gulping breaths. He had to stop thinking about it or he would drive himself up a wall.

Making a mental note, he knew he'd have to make an appointment with the departmental psychiatrist. As much as he hated seeing the guy, he knew he needed to talk to someone and he knew it couldn't be Roy or anyone he was friends with. It just wasn't the same.

Before he knew it he was standing in front of the DeSoto's home ringing the doorbell. He could hear the quiet murmur of voices coming from inside. The cars lined up along the street gleamed brightly from being washed and polished. He smiled slightly at the sight. It was strange how people immersed themselves in cleaning and cooking when it came time to bury someone. It was as if they were desperately trying to do normal everyday things to prove to themselves that they were still alive.

The door opened and Chris stood before him. Gage couldn't read the emotions on the younger man's face, but was relieved when Chris ushered him in without causing a scene.

"Dad, Uncle Johnny's here!"

Chris gave him a thoughtful look, then turned away without saying another word and walked out of the room.

Chet who had been standing in the kitchen entrance walked over to him and shook his hand. "Hey John."

"Chet."

They stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Each man knew the other really didn't want to talk about the reason they were here, but they both knew they would. Death was weird that way, both appalling and fascinating at the same time. They knew that one day, no matter what they did, death would come for them, but in what manner and how long they would have to wait was a total mystery.

Chet grinned and pointed at the hat in Gage's hand. "I see you brought your favorite girl with you."

Gage smirked at Chet. "It doesn't fit Chet. I know they ordered the wrong size again."

Chet shook his head and took a sip of soda from the glass in his hand. "You've been bitching about your hat for years. I think it's your head. It's shaped funny so nothing will fit right."

Gage opened his mouth to make a smart retort, but stopped as a hand slipped into his. Turning away from Chet, he smiled down at Jennifer. He couldn't help looking her over, then he felt guilty for doing it. Here he was going to a funeral service and he was drooling over her. She looked too sexy in the simple back dress.

He reached out and fingered the diamond necklace that hung around her neck. "It looks really nice on you."

Jennifer dropped her head slightly as she smiled coyly back at him. "Yeah, it does look pretty good on me."

Chet's snort made them turn to look at him. "You two need to watch yourselves. I don't know if anyone will appreciate you two ogling each other right now."

Jennifer shrugged her shoulders and held tightly onto Gage's hand that he had tried to pull away from her. "They'll have to get use to us being together sooner or later."

"I know, but try and tone it down some. I mean you're at a funeral, this isn't a date."

Gage narrowed his eyes slightly at the smaller man. "I thought you were on our side."

"I am man, why do you think I'm telling you to cool it? Some people aren't ready to accept you two together and if they're feeling all emotional and weird, they might take it out on one of you. You know how it is."

Jennifer stared back at Chet for a second, then squeezed Gage's hand. "I hate to admit it, but you're right."

Gage frowned at Jennifer. "He is?"

She let her hand slide from his, but she didn't move away from his side. "I'm not going to act like I don't care about you, but maybe we should be careful about how we act around each other until after the funeral is over. I'd rather not give anyone ammunition against us."

Gage brushed his hair back before exhaling loudly. "Okay Chet, you're right. Are you happy?"

Chet surprised him. "Not really. I wish things would be easier for you guys, but you know how people are."

Jennifer and Johnny knew exactly what Chet was talking about. They had found out the hard way the past few days what he meant.

"Uncle Johnny can I talk to you for a minute? In private?"

All three of them turned to find Chris standing by the stairwell, his posture guarded, his expression wary. Jennifer opened her mouth to say something and Gage cut her off. "Sure Chris." He gave Chet and Jennifer a slight smile before following Chris up the stairs.

Chet gave Jennifer a wide eyed look. "What do you think he's going to say?"

Jennifer bit her lip and shook her head. "I have no idea. Chris hasn't been around much and we haven't had a chance to talk yet."

She resisted the urge to follow Gage and Chris. What ever her brother's feelings were about all of this she'd have to wait and find out.

*******************************

Gage followed Chris up the stairs and into his room. He could see the tension in the younger man's shoulders, his face was drawn and tired.

Chris motioned behind Gage. "Could you shut the door please."

Softly closing the door, Gage prepared himself for an onslaught of angry words. He watched in silence as Chris paced back and forth across the small room, his hands nervously clenching and unclenching. When Chris turned and spoke, Gage was surprised to see that he looked as if he were on the verge of crying.

"Look...I know about you and Jen. I can't say I'm happy about it." He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, his voice growing a bit louder as he suddenly stepped forward, his face a mask of anger and confusion.

Gage held his ground. He knew if he backed down from Chris concerning this, he'd never be able to face him again.

"Why? Why her?! Why'd you have to go and mess around with Jen?!" His hands balled into tight fists. "You know when I first heard it, I thought it was a sick joke. I mean they were talking about you and Jen....doing it. God, I felt like popping someone right then and there. You'd never do anything like that or at least that's what I thought."

Chris turned away from him and began pacing the room again, keeping his hands close to his side. "Do you know what it's been like for me? I've had to listen to all sorts of shit because of you. The guys at the station are talking about you, they're talking about Jen...do you know what it's been like to have to defend Jen and not know if what the people were saying was true or not?"

Gage cocked his head to the side. He hadn't even thought about what people may have been saying to Chris. "What exactly have you heard?"

Chris stopped his pacing and smirked at Gage, his expression hard. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

Chris chuckled humorlessly. "Okay...the guys at some of the stations think Jen and you have been fucking around since she was about fifteen. How's that for some information? And you know what? I almost began to think it was true. I mean you and Jen...you're like this every time you're together." Chris had crossed the fingers of one hand and pointed them at Gage.

Gage frowned and shook his head. People could be so cruel. When they didn't know the truth or understand what was going on, they always managed to make up stories that satisfied their curiosity. "Chris, you know me..."

"Do I?!!" Chris yelled at him, then turned away to go and stand at the window. His shoulders shook as he fought to control his emotions.

"Chris...I can't stop people from speculating. I can't make you believe me if you don't trust me. All I can say is Jennifer and I have never done anything. Hell, I didn't even know how she felt until the day of the picnic."

Chris snorted and kept his back to him.

"Chris, I know this is hard to deal with. Heck, Jennifer and I are having problems believing it ourselves, but we're trying to work things out. We want to make it work."

Chris wheeled around and stared at him. "Make it work? Why? What's there to work out? Either you're banging her or you're not."

Gage narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice. "Don't talk about her that way."

"Why not? Why should I defend my sister if she's whoring around with you?"

Before he knew what he was doing, Gage stepped forward and pinned Chris against the wall, his face only inches from his. "Don't you ever and I mean 'ever' talk about Jennifer like that again."

Chris tried to push him away and found himself held tighter. He resisted the urge to spit in Gage's face, but the words that came out were just as disgusting. "Why? What's the matter? Does the truth bother you? Does knowing that everyone thinks you're a fucking pig and Jen's a whore bother you? Maybe you should have thought twice before you fucked her brains out. Maybe you should have..."

Chris's words were choked off as Gage placed a forearm against his throat and pressed down, effectively cutting off his air supply. Gage grit his teeth as he spoke. "I said knock it off!"

Chris grabbed a hold of his arm and tried to pry him off. They struggled for a few minutes, before Chris finally stopped trying to move. The lack of oxygen was beginning to take it's effect. Gage frowned and spoke in a calmer voice. "Are you done?"

A curt nod was his only reply from Chris.

He slowly released the pressure on Chris' neck. "Jennifer and I haven't done anything. We're dating and that's it." He jerked his arm away and moved to stand by the door. "I can't force you to accept us being together, but I do expect you to keep your mouth shut and respect your sister. I don't give a shit if people hate me or not, but don't go hurting her, she doesn't deserve it."

"Yeah, well she deserves more than being with someone who's going to die!"

Gage blinked a few times in confusion. "Die? Who said I'm going to die?"

Chris began laughing. "You will, dad will, I will...we're all going to die one of these days. Don't you think Jen deserves someone who'll be there for her? Someone who won't go away?"

Now Gage was thoroughly confused. "Chris what are you talking about?"

Chris took a deep ragged breath. "I knew Steve. He's only...he 'was' my age. He's dead. You and dad could have died too. Don't you think she'd be better off with someone who'll be there for her? Haven't you seen what it's done to Mom all these years? Didn't you even think?!"

A light bulb went off in Gage's head. This wasn't about him and Jennifer doing anything, it was about Jennifer being with someone like him. A fireman. Someone who could be here one moment and in the next second be gone. "Chris, I'm not going to die."

"Yeah right! Tell that to Steve!"

Running a hand over his face, Gage tried to think of the right words to say. Words that even he didn't know were true or not. When he looked back at Chris he knew what he was saying was right, he only hoped that Chris would accept them. "No, I don't know if I'm going to die. I could get killed today, I could die tomorrow, I could die in another forty years for all I know. None of us knows when it going to happen or where, but we can't let it rule our lives. Chris, you know as well as I do that each day on the job could be our last, but we can't stop and think about it or we'd never go on another run again."

He looked Chris in the eye. "Why'd you become a fireman?"

Chris looked confused for a second, then he stood straighter. "You know why."

"Do I? I mean what sane person would want to do a job where they might get killed every day? Why didn't you become an accountant like Jennifer and work at the hospital pushing papers?"

Chris frowned. "That's not what I wanted to do. You know I've always wanted to be like Dad and yo..." He clamped his mouth shut.

"Like what Chris? Like your dad and me? You wanted to run around and play hero?"

"Damn it, you know that's not why!"

Gage smiled slightly. "It's not? Then how about you tell me 'exactly' why you signed up to be a firefighter."

Chris's anger began to fade. Sitting on the end of the bed, he ran his hands over his head, his voice cracking slightly as he spoke. He looked so much like Roy when he was younger that Gage felt like he was going back in time to when he and Roy had discussions like this.

"I want to help people. I've watched you and Dad and the other guys and I've always wanted to be like you. Do the things that you do." He looked up and smiled. "You never got to see how happy Dad was sometimes when he came home. I knew he loved what he was doing. I wanted to feel the same way that he did."

"Then what's so wrong about Jennifer being with me if I'm a fireman?"

Chris's expression grew tense again. "You also never got to see what Mom went through. She didn't think I ever heard her, but I did. Do you know how many times I had to sit in this room and hear her cry? Do you know how many times I've had to watch her suffer because she'd seen a news break on the tv telling about some big fire? Every single day she'd say goodbye to Dad and she'd wonder if he was coming back. Why'd you have to go and do that to Jen? Why couldn't you have left her alone?"

Leaning against the wall by the door, Gage crossed his arms and looked down at the floor. "I tried Chris, really I did." He looked back up and directly at Chris, hoping he'd understand. "What if I quit being a paramedic and became an instructor, would that make things better?"

Chris stared back at Gage. "You wouldn't do that."

"Maybe I would. If it would make Jen happy, I'd do it, but you know what? I could still die."

Chris gave him a confused look.

"Okay Chris...how many runs have you been on to people's homes? How many times have you gone to an office, the zoo, a park? How many office workers, electricians or whatever have you had to rescue or scrape off the pavement because they've died on the job? There's not one single person who's safe. Death can happen to anyone at anytime. Sure you and I may face it day to day, but more often than not, we're the ones that make sure that other people live. We're the ones that come home at night, not them."

Chris looked down at the floor, his voice shaking. "I just don't want Jen to be like Mom." He looked back up, his eyes tearing. "I don't want you or Dad to die."

There was a knock on the door, causing them to jump.

"Is everything all right in there?" It was Roy's voice that came from the other side of the door.

Both Gage and Chris gave each other panicky looks before bursting into laughter. Chris answered him. "We'll be down in a minute."

There was a moment of silence then Roy's voice answered him back. "Okay. You'd better hurry up though, we've got to get to the church."

They waited until his footsteps moved away before they relaxed. Chris looked at Gage and gave him a sheepish look. "No matter how old I get, he always makes me feel like I'm a little kid."

Gage smiled back. "I know what you mean. I could be sixty-five and I bet he'll still be callin' me junior."

Chris fingered the comforter on the bed. "Look...I know you love Jen, but I don't want her to get hurt."

Gage could see that Chris wasn't as opposed to him being with Jennifer as he thought. It was his way of life. Their way of life. Chris knew the dangers, he knew what could happen...but so did Jennifer.

"Chris, if Jen didn't want to be with me or any other guy in the department, don't you think she would have made it known a long time ago?"

Chris stood and frowned, then sighed. "I know, but she doesn't really know what it's like. She hasn't seen the things we've seen."

"Chris, she's seen enough. She knows what she's getting into."

"I don't know."

They stood in silence again, neither one of them knowing what else to say. A voice called from downstairs. It was Roy again. "Johnny! Chris! Let's get moving or we'll be late!"

Gage gave Chris a wry smile as he opened the door. "Let's get going before he sends Joanne up."

Chris smiled as he stood. Roy sending Joanne up to the kids rooms was the ultimate punishment for them as a child. It was when things had reached the breaking point.

As he walked past Gage, he felt him place his hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. He knew Gage was right about Jennifer, but it still didn't change the way he felt. He knew that someday Jennifer's heart would be broken and then he'd be the one left to pick up the pieces.

****************************

Tossing his hat on the counter, Gage loosened the tie around his neck, then he undid the top two buttons of the collar of the dress shirt. Shrugging his jacket off, he hung it on the back of one of the kitchen chairs.

Roy backed away from the refrigerator and held a beer out to him.

"Thanks."

Twisting the top off, he dropped it on the table top, then he took a swig of the cold brew. He wasn't one for using alcohol as a crutch, but this was one of those times when all he wanted to do was get drunk to the point where he could forget everything.

Leaning back against the counter, he brought the bottle back to his lips and quickly drained it. As he set the empty bottle down, Roy raised an eyebrow at him. "Thirsty Junior?"

He gave Roy a weak smile as he tugged the tie off, wadded it up and tossed it with his hat. "A little."

Roy knew exactly how Gage felt. The funeral had been agonizing. Having to watch the pain that the two families were suffering and then feeling the guilt from thanking God that it wasn't his family going through it all had left him feeling old and drained.

He shuddered slightly and pulled open the refrigerator and grabbed another beer. He held it out to Gage. "Yeah, I'm kind of thirsty myself."

Pulling out a chair, Roy sat down and Gage followed suit. They sat across from one another drinking their beers, staring down at the table top, lost in their own thoughts.

The house seemed eerily quiet with all of the guests having finally gone home. Chris had decided to join his fellow shiftmates at a bar to 'honor' Steve's memory. The death of such a young fireman had hit the other younger members hard, making them realize just how quick the end could come for them all.

Joanne walked toward the kitchen and stopped in the doorway as she found the two men sitting in total silence. She didn't like it when they were quiet, it wasn't normal.

She was about to walk in and start some idle chatter to distract them when it occurred to her that maybe they needed this quiet time. It also occurred to her that she could use this down time as a chance to talk with Jennifer.

Her daughter may have thought that she was ready for a relationship with Gage, but to Joanne, Jennifer was in way over her head. Gage wasn't some twenty year old just beginning his life, he was a middle aged man set in his ways.

There was a side to Gage that she knew Jennifer had never been privy to. The petty belligerent side. The narrow-minded, old fashionedness that he sometimes possessed. She had never seen him go off on an angry rant that would have made her young daughter's ears burn.

To Jennifer, he had always bent and moved to her every wish or whim. She probably expected it to continue now that she was 'involved' with him. Joanne felt that Jennifer was in for a rude awakening and knowing Gage's mood swings, it wouldn't take too long for it to happen.

Without saying a word, Joanne turned and walked out of the kitchen and headed up the stairs. Coming to Jennifer's room, she tapped lightly on the closed door. "It's mom, can I come in?"

"Um...sure."

Joanne opened the door and walked into the bedroom. Looking around, she noticed the same things that she had always seen. A prized doll rested on the pillows of the bed. Other dolls and much loved toys sat on shelves around the room.

Pictures of Jennifer and the family at various stages in her life adorned the walls. The one thing Joanne did notice that was different was a picture of Gage hugging Jennifer at her graduation. Instead of sitting on a corner shelf, it was now prominently displayed on the vanity where she was sitting brushing her hair.

Jennifer had changed from the clingy black dress into a pair of old faded jeans and a t-shirt, effectively transforming her back into the young girl that Joanne was use to seeing every day. Joanne felt a twinge of sadness in the pit of her stomach. Why couldn't she have stayed little for a while longer? When had her baby turned into a woman?

With a heavy sigh, Joanne sat on the bed and picked the doll up, straightening the frilly dress that it wore. An over due chat that she should have had with Jennifer was about to begin.

"Jennifer, we need to talk about a few things."

Jennifer stopped brushing her hair. She knew eventually her mom would start prying into her personal life, she might as well get it over with. "Sure Mom." Setting the brush down, she prepared herself for the embarrassing questions that she knew her mom was about to start asking. The first one was a doozy.

"Jennifer...I don't mean to be nosy, but...are you still a virgin?"

"Mom!"

Joanne could feel her face turning red, but she pushed on. They had to have this talk. "I'm only asking because Johnny...he's going to expect certain 'things' from you that I...I don't know if you're prepared for them."

Running a hand through her hair, Jennifer bit her lip. It really wasn't anyone's business if she was a virgin or not, but she also knew that if she didn't give her mom some type of answer, she'd keep badgering her about it.

"Mom, I know Johnny has a certain reputation, but he's not going to expect me to do something that I don't want to do." Her moms reaction startled her.

Joanne snorted, then started laughing. Covering her mouth she shook her head.

"Mom?"

Joanne waved her off, laughing as she spoke. "I'm sorry honey, but you...you really have know idea what you're saying."

Jennifer frowned and Joanne laughed again. "What you think he'll want from you and what he'll expect from you will be an entirely different thing." She set the doll down on the bed and leaned toward Jennifer. "I think you're still a virgin and you have no idea what Johnny's going to want from you. Your father..."

Jennifer held her hands up and her voice rose in volume. "I don't want to know!"

Joanne smirked. "You will sooner or later. Sex isn't one way Jennifer. It's not just hugs and kisses. There's so much more to it."

Joanne took a deep breath. She was embarrassed as hell, but she wasn't about to stop now. Jennifer needed to know certain things. "Have you ever performed oral sex?"

"Mom!!! I can't believe you!"

"Honey, it's a fact of life. Men love oral sex and they have no problem wanting you to do it."

Jennifer made a disgusted face as she thought of what her mom was implying.

Joanne raised an eyebrow at her. "You said you know Johnny's reputation. Are you going to sit there and tell me he's never asked a woman to do that for him?"

"Mom..." Jennifer shook her hands out. "...you're being gross."

Joanne smiled again. "No, I'm trying to be open about this with you. You know he has and you know he's going to expect the same thing from you." She decided to shift gears in the conversation to one that she felt was more important. "What about birth control? Are you on the pill? Do you know if Johnny uses condoms?"

Jennifer stood up and yelled. "I don't know!"

"You don't know if you use birth control?"

"Mom, we're only dating."

"Right. Do you honestly think that you'll be only 'going out' with him. That you won't be sexually active? You aren't ready for this. He's a man and you're...Jennifer, I think you're not ready for what he wants."

Jennifer frowned, trying to keep the anger out of her voice. "I'm not a little girl. I know he's going to want to be with me. I 'want' to be with him. The other night..." Her voice trailed off as she realized that she had almost started talking about what she and Johnny had done on the beach.

Joanne eyed her, a small smile touched her lips. She had suspected something had happened the night of their date when she found Jennifer's damp sand coated clothes in the dirty clothes hamper.

"Jennifer, you need to be careful. I don't want you to get hurt."

Jennifer rolled her eyes. "Mom, Johnny loves me, he's not going to do anything to hurt me."

"I hope not, but...just don't be in such a hurry to grow up. Why don't you date around, see what life has to offer you."

Jennifer's voice dripped with sarcasm as she crossed her arms and stared down at her mom. "Oh...like you did?"

"Jennifer, your dad and I...that's different."

"How? You said you knew that Dad was the one for you. You said you knew when you were in grade school that he was the one you were going to marry. Well, I know that Johnny's the one for me. If he wasn't, then he'd have been married by now. It's not like he hasn't had the opportunity ya' know."

Joanne sighed. She gave up. It appeared that Gage was the only man that her daughter had set her sights on. She wasn't going to change her mind all from a little talk with her.

"Okay...fine...whatever. You're going to date Johnny, you'll be having sex, get married and have a few children, then you'll live happily ever after."

Jennifer's voice rose again. "Isn't that the idea? Get married, have a family and be happy together?"

"You should also try living a little too! You're only twenty-one for God's sake!"

"So what?! You married Dad when you were eighteen and it's because you 'had' too!"

Joanne's face paled slightly making Jennifer feel guilty for throwing that fact in her mom's face, but she pressed on.

"Yes I'm twenty-one, but unlike you, I've gone to college and I have a job outside the home. What's wrong with me wanting to get married and start a family of my own?"

Taking a deep breath, Joanne looked Jennifer in the eye. "What makes you think Johnny's ready to settle down? He's thirty-eight Jennifer. Do you think he's going to want to get married and have children at his age? You've seen his house. He's picky about what goes where. Do you think he wants to have a bunch of kids running around and tearing it up?"

Jennifer smiled and shook her head yes. "Don't you remember how his place use to look? Do you remember what the living room looked like after the nights that Chris and I stayed over? Mom, he loves kids! I know he wants to have a couple of his own."

Joanne frowned. "Having someone else's children spend the night is entirely different than having one of your own."

Jennifer ran a hand over her forehead. She was starting to feel a headache coming on. "Mom, please. We're only dating. Maybe eventuality we'll get married, then you can start talking about the pitfalls of having children. Until then, I don't want to hear it."

"What if you and Johnny have an accident? What happens then?"

"Mom..." Her voice was pleading and at the same time she let enough of her anger come through. She had enough.

Joanne threw her arms in the arm in resignation. "Fine! You do what you want, just promise me you'll be careful when you and Johnny..." She gestured weakly with her hands and Jennifer tucked her head down.

They stood in the room eying one another. Jennifer's stomach growled. It was the perfect escape. "I'm going to get something to eat."

Joanne stood up from the bed. "Fine, I'll join you."

Mother and daughter walked down the stairs and headed for the kitchen. What they found, neither one of them expected.

*********************************

Roy watched Joanne turn and walk away. He had expected her to come in the kitchen and start talking to them, but he knew where she was headed. He silently thanked her for giving him time alone with Gage and he doubly thanked her for going and talking to Jennifer. He knew he should have talked with her earlier about certain things, but discussing sex with his daughter gave him the willies.

Looking across the table, he smiled slightly. Hell, he had trouble talking to Gage about anything sexual. He'd know the man for years now and he doubted that they had ever traded descriptive conversations about what either one of them did with their partners. Sure he had a stable relationship with Joanne and he loved her dearly, but there were times that he envied his younger friend, knowing that he had been with a variety of women. What were they like? How different had each experience been?

His slight smile turned into a frown as his thoughts turned to who his current 'woman' was. Jennifer was the reason for the difficulties between them at the moment.

It wasn't actually Jennifer's fault, it was his if he wanted to be honest with himself. The idea of Gage being with his baby scared the hell out of him. He quickly suppressed any ideas of him and Jennifer together. The last thing he wanted was a visual of the pair, grappling and moaning.

Taking a long drink, Roy knew they needed to get things back to the way they use to be. Things needed to be smoothed over. He watched Gage as he drained his second beer in a few guzzling swallows.

"Don't you think you should slow it down a little Johnny?"

Setting the empty bottle down, Gage smiled as he stood and made his way to the refrigerator. "Nope."

Taking another beer out, he twisted the top off and took a long draught. Swallowing, he frowned. "Roy did you see Steve's mom? Did you watch Donny's wife? I don't know..."

"You don't know what?"

Gage took another swallow of beer, thinking of what it would be like for Jennifer if he had died. "How do you do it Roy? How do you leave Joanne every day knowing that she might have to go through that?"

Roy looked at the bottle in his hands, then quickly drained it. Gage grabbed another beer and handed it to him. Roy twisted the cap off and took a few drinks. He shrugged his shoulders, not really having much of an answer. "I...you just do. You get up and go to work and try and not think about what might happen."

Looking at the floor, Gage sighed. "Man...she looked so old sitting there...holding that flag." He lifted the bottle and drained it, ignoring the burn that it made as it went down his throat. "He's dead and all she gets is a flag to remember him by."

Roy felt a trail of panic beginning in the pit of his stomach. He didn't want to think of things like this. He wanted to forget what he had seen in the warehouse. He wanted his life to go on the way it had for years. Him loving Joanne, holding her, being with her.

Standing, he made his way over to a cabinet above the refrigerator and dug toward the back. His hand made contact with his intended target. He hesitated, then his grip tightened around the object. He needed this as much as Gage did. Sure it was a crappy way to deal with how they were feeling, but right now he didn't want to be aware of the feelings that he was having. He wanted to forget it all.

Pulling the bottle of Jack Daniels out, he grabbed a pair of shot glasses from another cabinet. Gage arched an eyebrow at him, surprised to see what Roy was doing.

"Mixing?"

Roy looked at the bottle then back at Gage, a small smirk tugged at his lips. "Why not?"

Gage grinned back at him. "Okay...fine by me."

Roy relaxed a bit. Drinking was bad enough, but at least he wasn't drinking alone.

They sat back down at the table and Roy poured them both a healthy portion of the amber colored liquid. Roy held the glass up to the light, watching it sparkle. "You know the last time I opened this?"

"No."

"That time you got hit by the car."

"You're kiddin' me?!"

"No, I'm not."

Instead of getting maudlin about the past and remembering the horror of things that had happened, Gage shocked Roy with a bright smile. "Man, this will be some good shit then."

Roy shook his head and found himself smiling back at his friend. Leave it to Gage to see the bright side. He raised his glass toward the younger man. "To life."

Gage's smile never wavered as he clinked his glass against Roy's. "To life."

They downed the liquor, both making faces, sucking in air. Gage shook his head, his voice sounding stained. "Man, I forgot how this stuff bites."

Roy rubbed at his watering eyes. "You're not kidding!" He coughed, then held the bottle questioningly out. "Want another?"

Sniffing, Gage blinked a few times. "Sure, what the hell."

The downed the second shots, laughing at the faces that each of them made as the alcohol burned paths down their throats. Gage was feeling the effects of drinking so much in so short a time and he knew that Roy had to be feeling a bit looser as well.

Neither man drank all that much and they usually had the common sense to stop after a beer or two, but for some reason it seemed okay for them to be getting drunk together. They were at Roy's house and weren't going anywhere so why not? It was better than going home alone and dwelling over the day's events.

He watched as Roy poured a third shot. He knew he wasn't going to be able to do much of anything soon. Three beers and three shots did not make for a functioning body. His mind was already beginning to drift. A smile came to his face as he remembered a time when he and Roy had been drinking in this kitchen a few years back. Back when his life was less complicated.

"'Member that time Jo went to see her mom for the day and we had that poker party here?" Gage poked a finger heavily on the table top, each word was slow and deliberate.

Roy chuckled, his own voice beginning to slur as the alcohol made it's way through his system. "How could I forget? I was digging pretzels and bottle caps out of the furniture for weeks." Roy snickered. "Joanne said you puked so much that she said it made 'her' sick."

Gage grimaced, then smiled. "How was I to know she was gonna want to use the bathroom and ya' know...well, I don't drink alot and it kind of upset my stomach."

Roy shook his head and chuckled. "I think the five roast beef sandwiches are what upset your stomach, not the beers."

Gage snickered. "Yeah, I did eat a lot then."

"Then?! Junior, you eat alot period!" Roy patted his thickening waistline as he eyed Gage's still trim body. "I wish I had your metab...metib...I wish I were able to eat a lot like you."

Gage patted his stomach and smiled. "You eat a lot...you just don't do the stuff I do."

Roy looked at the empty glass in his hand. He wasn't feeling much pain and he knew his partner was probably on cloud nine by now. "Ya' know Junior, this isn't the way we shoulda'...should deal with this."

Gage waved a languid hand at him. "Aw why in the heck not? I mean when's the last time we got drunk?"

Roy squinted his eyes as he thought. "Um...last year..." His face brightened when he remembered. "Last year at Chet's barbie...Chet's picy...the party he had in his yard."

A small leer appeared on Gage's face. "Ooooh yeah, I remember that. I got Jen with a water balloon right in the..."

Roy held a warning finger up. "Don't. Don't even talk about my daughter like that in front of me."

The leer slipped from Gage's face and he looked down at the table. "Oh...okay." He twirled the shot glass idly between his fingers. "Ya' know Roy...I really do love her."

Roy poured himself another shot and downed it, sucking the air between his teeth as it made a burning path over his tongue. When he looked back at Gage, he nodded his head yes. "Yeah, I know you do."

Gage lifted his head to look at Roy, then he pushed his glass toward him. Roy shook his head no. "No more...we've had enough."

"Aw come on. Just one more. I can still feel my teeth."

Roy snickered, then poured another shot for them both, spilling a bit of the liquor on the table top. He used his free hand to swipe the damp spot off.

Gage downed his shot and Roy followed suit.

Leaning back in his chair, Roy sighed. "You know I wanted to kill you when you told me that you and Jennifer...that you wanted her...wanted to date her."

Gage gave him a lopsided grin. "Why didn't cha'?"

Roy looked down at the table. "'Cause I couldn't...you're my best friend. I couldn't hurt you."

Gage leaned back and rolled the sleeves of his shirt up. "I'm glad you didn't. I think it would've upset Jen too much." Resting his head in his hands, he smiled. "You know how Jen feels about fightin'. She would've never gone out with me if I beat you up."

"Yes, she would, she...hey! What do you mean you would've beat me?! I can take your skinny butt anytime!"

Gage laughed at the look of indignation on Roy's face. Roy shot him another look before a smile appeared on his own face. "She would have still gone out with you. She'd yell at me, then she'd yell at you and 'then' she'd want to take care of you 'cause I beat you up so badly."

Gage laughed again, knowing Roy was right about Jennifer wanting to mother him. She had been doing it ever since she was a little girl. He leaned forward and smiled at Roy. "'Member that time I broke my leg?"

"Which time and what leg?" Roy chuckled at the dark look that Gage shot him.

"The time my rope broke and I fell from that scaffolding."

"Oh yeah. I thought we lost you that time."

"Anyway...do you remember you made me stay here?"

"In the kitchen? No I didn't, you slept in Jennifer's room and she bunked with Chris!"

Gage rolled his eyes. Maybe they did have too much to drink. "No, no no! You made me stay here instead of stayin' at my place."

Roy smiled and nodded his head yes. "Yeah, sure. What about it?"

"Jen acted like my personal nurse the entire time. She was so cute."

Roy smiled back at him as a picture of Jennifer at the age of fourteen came to mind. She had run around the house, waiting hand and foot on Gage.

"She would have tried to bathe you if Joanne hadn't told her you had to be naked for her to do it."

Gage's eyes widened slightly. "She said that to Jen?"

Roy smirked back at him. "Uh huh."

Gage's face screwed up and he mumbled to himself. "So I scared her that much huh?"

He didn't talk low enough for Roy to not hear him. "I guess so. Jennifer stopped asking Joanne if she could bathe you."

Gage shook his head no and frowned. "No, I'm not talkin' about Jen, I mean Joanne."

Roy squinted at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Gage was oblivious as to what he was saying. "I guess her seeing me naked made her leery of lettin' Jen see me."

"What?"

Gage's voice was matter of fact. "Joanne never told you?"

Roy narrowed his eyes. "Told me what?"

His intoxicated mind finally caught up to what he was saying and Gage began backpedaling. "Uh...nothing."

Leaning over the table, Roy eyed Gage suspiciously. "When did Joanne see you naked?"

Gage looked at the floor, the table...anywhere but at Roy. "Um...well...remember that huge picnic all the stations from the nearby states went to?"

"Yes."

"Well, the changing rooms for the beach were full and we all changed by the cars."

"Yes."

Gage looked at Roy and knew he was digging himself in a hole, but he didn't know how to get out of it, short of running out of the house. "Well...Joanne...she kinda' snuck up on me...you know Roy, she had no idea it was me. She thought I was you 'cause I was by your car."

Roy was still staring at him. "And?"

"Well she jumped out and...surprised me."

Roy took a deep breath. "And just how did she surprise you?"

*******************************

Joanne and Jennifer walked into the kitchen, the both of them a bit shocked to find the two men obviously inebriated. Joanne walked over and grabbed the bottle from Roy's hand. "Roy DeSoto, just what do you think you're doing?"

Roy's voice rose as he shot her an accusing look. "Why didn't you tell me you saw Johnny naked?!"

Joanne's eyes widened and she gave Gage a 'you didn't tell him did you' look.

Jennifer's mouth dropped open in surprise.

Gage gave them all a sheepish look and shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry Jo...it kinda' slipped out."

Roy's head jerked to look over at Gage. 'What slipped out of where?!"

Joanne snatched the shot glass from Roy and poured herself a glass. Downing it, she gasped as the liquid burned her throat.

Jennifer looked at her in shock. "Mom!"

Roy tapped his fingers on the table. "Well?"

Joanne looked at Jennifer's shocked face, then she glared at Gage who quickly dropped his head down. Looking at Roy, she swallowed nervously. "I...um...I thought that Johnny was you and I...it was an honest mistake Roy. It happened years ago!"

Gage jumped in. "She's tellin' the truth Roy. I don't think she would've grabbed me like that if she thought it was me."

Jennifer stared at her mom and Roy's voice rose a few octaves. "You grabbed him? Where exactly did you grab him?!"

Joanne shot daggers at Gage who blinked in confusion. He was only trying to help. "It...it was an accident Roy. Honestly, I thought he was you. He was standing by our car."

Roy lowered his voice. "Where'd you grab him?" He looked in Gage's direction and saw that his face was a bright red. "No...no you didn't. Jo tell me you didn't."

"Honey, it was an accident."

Jennifer looked at Joanne, then at Gage and then back at Joanne. "You're yelling at me about being with Johnny and you...you...you've touched him? There?!"

Joanne ran a hand over her face. "I told you it was an accident. I would have never done that if I had known it was Johnny."

Roy and Jennifer both looked at Gage who squirmed in his seat. "Why're you lookin' at me?! She's the one who did it!" He nodded his head in Joanne's direction and her mouth dropped open.

Roy and Jennifer turned to look at her. "It was an accident!" Shaking her head, she walked over to a cupboard and put the bottle of Jack Daniels away. "Honestly you two! You shouldn't be drinking in the first place."

Gage pushed himself up from his seat and swayed slightly. "I guess that's my cue to leave."

Jennifer rushed over and grabbed him by the arm. "Oh no you don't! You're in no condition to go anywhere."

Joanne nodded in agreement, thanking God for the change in subject. "She's right Johnny, you're in no shape to drive."

"Then let Jen drive me home." He grinned down at Jennifer and hugged her to him.

Roy jumped up and swayed, grabbing the table to keep from falling back in his chair. "Over my dead body she's going home with you!"

Joanne smiled, then cleared her throat. "Johnny, you can stay here until you sober up. Roy, you and I need to go and have a little talk. In private."

She held her hand out to Roy who in turn held his hand out to Gage. "Keys Junior."

"Huh?"

Roy tried to snap his fingers and failed. He shook his hand at him instead. "Your keys. Hand 'em over."

"Aw mannnn. You can't be serious."

"Johnny. Keys. Now."

Jennifer rolled her eyes at the belligerent look on Gage's face. Turning around in his hold, she jammed a hand in his pants pocket and withdrew the keys. Gage yelped in surprise as she made contact with a certain part of his anatomy while she was digging about.

He frowned down at her as she smiled sweetly up at him, then she deposited the keys in Roy's outstretched hand. Joanne then snatched them away from Roy.

"I'll take care of these Johnny. You'll get them back when I feel you're sober enough." She smiled at Roy as she pulled him from the room. "Come on party boy."

*******************************

As soon as Gage was sure that Roy and Joanne were out of ear shot, he glared at Jennifer. "And just what do you think you were doing?"

Jennifer arched an eyebrow at him. "I figured since you let Mom feel you up then you wouldn't mind me doing it."

Gage sighed. "Jen honey, I didn't...she thought I was Roy. Your dad."

"Uh huh. Like she'd ever mistake you for him."

"Jen come on, you honestly don't think she'd do it on purpose?"

Jennifer turned away from him and smiled. She could tell that he was getting desperate and she knew he was telling the truth. When he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up against him, she tried to not giggle. He was being cute and pathetic. She should have been annoyed, but she couldn't bring herself to be angry with him.

She smelled the alcohol on his breath as he whispered against her cheek. "Aw come on sweetheart, it was an accident. You know I wouldn't do anything with Jo...your mom...she's like a sister to me." His voice had a pleading tone to it, but it was mingled with a teasing lusty tone as well.

She squirmed slightly as he kissed her neck, then nibbled at her skin.

"Johnny...Mom and Dad are here."

He placed another kiss on her neck. "They're upstairs."

She smiled as he rubbed her shoulders. "They'll be coming back down soon."

Gage chuckled as he turned her around to face him, then he backed her up against the counter. "They'll probably be busy for a while."

Jennifer's eyes widened at what he was implying. "That's disgusting!"

Leaning down, he brushed his lips against hers. "Is it?" Pulling back, he eyed her, the hint of a smile played on his lips. "So you think this is disgusting?" He pressed against her as he wrapped his arms around her back and neck. Her heart rate picked up as he ran his fingers down her spine.

Her voice shook as she spoke. "Well...it is if it's my mom and dad."

"So I guess this is okay then." Leaning down, he captured her mouth in a soul searing kiss. When he pulled back, she found herself panting. She felt both lightheaded with desire and scared to death. As he reclaimed her mouth, she weakly pushed at his shoulders before giving in to the feeling that grew within her.

Running her hands through his hair, she clung to him as they maneuvered their bodies against one another. When he snuck a hand under her shirt and cupped a breast, she moaned into his mouth. She wanted him. She had to have him now.

Snaking a hand down his hip, she wedge it between them. Just as she reached her intended target, the front door slammed shut. All thoughts of sex fled from her mind as she shoved him roughly away from her.

Gage stared back at Jennifer in shock. Her voice squeaked as she danced in place. "It's Chris! He's home!"

Grabbing Gage by the arm, she drug him over to a chair and forced him to sit down. Grabbing his hands she shoved them in his lap. He looked at her in a blind panic as his alcohol soaked brain finally processed what was happening. Unless they played it right, they were busted!

*******************************

Making his way up the sidewalk, Chris stopped and stared at the house before him. He'd lived here for most of his life and had always felt safe and secure, but not tonight. Today had brought his own mortality smack dab in his face.

Steve had been his age. He'd gone to bars and other functions where he had met the paramedic. Steve was...he mentally corrected himself...Steve 'had been' likable, smart, popular with the ladies. He had reminded Chris alot of what Gage had been like when he was younger except he didn't have the bad temper or cockiness that his uncle had.

Now it was over, Steve's life was snuffed out before he even had a chance to marry or have a family of his own. He'd be forever young. Dead.

Fighting the panic that began to well in the pit of his stomach, Chris hurried up the walkway and yanked open the door, slamming it shut behind him. He was angry. Angry at the kid who set the fire. Angry that his dad come close to dying. Angry that Steve and Donny did die.

Stomping his way through the living room and into the kitchen, he stopped as he spied Gage sitting at the table. He looked the older man over and could tell that something wasn't right. Gage looked guilty as hell, but of what, he didn't know.

Turning his attentions to Jennifer, he eyed her. She looked like she was about to have a heart attack, like he'd caught her doing something that he knew she'd get in trouble for.

Looking slowly back and forth between the pair, he knew that he had some how interrupted something between them. He stared blankly at them, the anger that he had been feeling slowly fading as he realized that he could have some fun with them. He had acquired Gage's temper, that was a well know fact, but along with it came a bit of Chet's influence in the tormenting department.

He waggled a finger at Jennifer, taking a wild stab at what he thought was the reason the pair appeared the way they did. "Does Dad have any idea you two are in here messing around?"

Jennifer frowned at him, her posture and voice unsure even as she tried to bluff her way out of her current situation. Chris hadn't seen anything so why should she admit that she and Gage had been playing around? Besides, it wasn't any of his business.

"We are 'not' messing around. Do you see us doing anything?"

Chris smirked at her. Just by the tone of her voice, he knew he had hit his mark. Like a shark circling an injured fish, he pressed on. "I don't have to 'see' you doing something to know that you did."

Gage pushed himself to his feet and fixed Chris with a glare. "Don't you hafta' go to bed or somethin'?"

Chris stared back at Gage, then burst out laughing. "You're drunk!"

Jennifer walked over to the slightly teetering Gage and pushed him back down in his seat. "So what. He and Dad were drinking and..."

"Get out! Dad's drunk too?! Where's he at?" Chris couldn't help laughing some more. There was nothing funnier than his tightly controlled dad getting drunk. He'd say and do things that he never would when he was sober.

Jennifer smiled slightly and pointed at the ceiling.

Chris looked above his head and Gage snickered. "Man Chris, you need to get a clue."

Chris looked back at Gage and felt his face heating up when he realized what Jennifer and Gage were implying. A smile quickly worked its way back to his face. "So I guess Mom and Dad are doing what you two were doing in here?"

Gage shook his head and mumbled under his breath. "Don't I wish."

"Johnny!" Jennifer's stared back at Gage, both appalled that he would say something like that outloud and pleased that he wanted her that badly.

Gage flinched and gave her an apologetic look while Chris made a disgusted face.

Jennifer crossed her arms and glared at Chris. "Is there a point to you coming in here?"

"Uh...sure...I needed a drink." He walked over to the refrigerator pretending to look over the selection of drinks. With a small smile, he picked up a bottle of beer and closed the door. Twisting the cap open, he took a swig and smiled at them.

Jennifer frowned. "You know Dad doesn't like you drinking."

"Oh yeah. Let them..." Chris gestured at Gage with the bottle. "...get shit faced, but I can't have one beer? Uh huh, that's a bit hypocritical."

"You have your drink, can't you leave us alone?"

"Why so you two can make out again?" Chris made another face.

Gage stood up. Slowly walking over to him, he took the beer from Chris's hand and pointed in the direction of the living room. "Out. Now."

Chris stood for a second or two, trying to decide if he wanted to push a few more buttons. The only problem was he wasn't so sure how Gage would react in his current state. Did he want to take a chance on starting a fight or would it just be better to go up to his room and leave them alone?

With a resigned sigh, he turned away from them and walked out of the kitchen and made his way up the stairs and toward his room. As he placed a hand on the door knob, he could hear laughter coming from his parents room, then a soft moaning sound. Shoving the door open, he quickly closed it. There was nothing more disgusting than having caught his parents doing the nasty.

Flopping down on the bed, he stared up at the ceiling and frowned again. He knew that his sister and Gage were probably all over one another again. One part of him was grossed out when he thought about his sister and 'uncle' together, but a larger part of him was jealous. He didn't have anyone to talk to or be with. Maybe it was time he thought about settling down.

Closing his eyes, he tried to relax, then he yanked his pillow over his head, trying to block out the sounds of his parents lovemaking in the room next to him.

*******************************

Jennifer breathed a sigh of relief as Chris made his way out of the kitchen. She had thought that Gage and her brother were about to get into a fight and that was one thing she didn't want to see.

Looking at Gage, she shook her head and smiled at him. He looked both confused and irritated at the same time. "What's the matter Johnny?"

"I don't know...he...why'd he leave?"

"You asked him to."

"Yeah, I know I did, but he just...left. Like that!" He snapped his fingers and frowned again. "Chris never backs down. Somethin's wrong." He moved to leave the kitchen and Jennifer snagged him by the belt.

"Wait a minute! Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Huh?"

"You wanted Chris to leave and he left."

"Ooooooh yeah." A wicked grin made it's way to Gage's face as he twisted around and began walking Jennifer back up against the counter. Pinning her with his body, he placed an arm on either side of her, effectively trapping her. "Now I remember why."

"Johnny, we can't..."

Her words were cut off as he leaned down and picked up where they had left off when Chris had interrupted them

Jennifer mumbled against his lips. "Johnny, we...can't..."

Making his way to her neck, he nuzzled a path along her skin, taking small nips at her jugular. "Why not?"

Threading her fingers through his hair, she leaned her head back so that he would have better access. "Uh...because...um.." Her voice became a breathy whisper. "Oh yeaaaah...that feels good."

Moving his hands around her waist, he continued his gentle assault on her flesh. Closing her eyes, Jennifer sighed as she felt her body relaxing in contrast to the rapid beating of her heart.

She let out a small squeak as he picked her up and set her down on the counter, his hands holding her under the arm pits as his thumbs caressed the sides of her breasts through the thin t-shirt that she wore.

He looked into her eyes and smiled as he moved his hands down to her waist and took the hem of the t-shirt in his fingers. As he slowly drew the material up, she held her breath, wondering whether she should stop him or not. She wanted him, but they were in the kitchen of her parents house.

Her eyes trailed upward to look at the ceiling. Her mom and dad were upstairs doing God knows what and Chris had left to go to his room. As the cool air hit her skin, she closed her eyes, praying that no one would interrupt them again. She'd have to keep her ears open for the slightest noise. If they were caught...

She drew in a sharp breath as Gage kissed a breast through the material of her bra. Her heart began to race. What was she thinking? She had to be crazy to let him do this! Any thoughts she had of stopping him fled as he pulled the material back and took a nipple in his mouth, gently suckling it.

Drawing her toward him, he rolled the small nub between his lips and tongue, smiling inwardly as Jennifer moaned and arched her back. When her hands wrapped around his head and didn't push him away, he knew he would have her.

Her skin was warm and silky, the smell of her clean and musky. He continued his ministrations, using one hand to hold her steady while the other gently caressed the skin of her back.

One part of his mind screamed for him to stop, the other half in its drunken stupor cackled maniacally and ignored the logical part. She felt wonderful and he wanted more. He had waited so long to be able to touch her, make her his and finding that she was more than willing to give herself to him...he knew they'd finally join.

He spent a few more minutes enjoying the sounds of her soft sighs and moans as he continued to gently suckle each breast in turn. When he trailed his lips down her smooth tight belly, he felt his groin tighten painfully. The part of his mind that had nagged at him to stop, now screamed in protest. He couldn't. Not here. There would be too much to lose if they were found here.

He pulled away from her, breathless and shaky. "Jen...we...I can't..."

She opened glazed eyes to look at him, nodding her head absently in agreement. "I know...they might...they might find us."

Hugging her to him as he nuzzled his face against a breast, he sighed as she clung tightly to him. Every beat of his heart made him aware of just how much he wanted her. Pulling her off the counter, he let her body slowly slide down the front of him. He groaned softly as she pressed a hand against him.

It was sheer torture what he was putting himself through. This was ridiculous. If he were sober he'd have his keys and he could take her home with him. He could possess her body, hoping that her soul was already his. With a frustrated sigh, he gently took her hand away from him.

Jennifer looked up at him, remembering what she and her mom had talked about. "Johnny...I could...you...I could do something...for you...for us."

He gave her a curious look, then it dawned on him what she was suggesting as her fingers found his belt buckle. Gently taking her hands in his, he shook his head no. "Not here. We'll have time later."

His hands shook and his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. He couldn't believe that she had offered to pleasure him orally. He really couldn't believe that he had turned her down! It was something that he had dreamt about often and felt oh so guilty about.

Her voice was small and unsure. "But I thought...I mean..."

He gave her a small smile and squeezed her hands in his. "I don't want you to unless I can reciprocate."

Her eyes widened at what he was implying. She hadn't even thought about him doing something like that to her. Her mouth went dry at the same time as she felt a sudden flash of heat in her groin. The idea of him doing 'that' to 'her'...her mom had never even mentioned that. Did her parents do those things? She shuddered at the thought.

With a heavy sigh, Gage moved away from Jennifer, mentally kicking himself the entire time. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted a woman before, but he also valued his relationship with Roy and Joanne. Running a hand through his hair, he blew out a ragged breath. "You should go to bed. I'll sleep on the sofa."

Jennifer moved away from him finding her legs shaking slightly. The heat that flooded her body screamed at her to forget that there were other people in the house. She wanted him so badly. She wanted to feel his lips and fingers on her body, touching her everywhere. Drawing a deep breath in, she backed away from him. "Okay. I uh...I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Moving quickly, she jumped forward and gave him a kiss before bolting out of the kitchen before she could make the mistake of staying and continuing what they had been doing.

Wiping his hands over his face, Gage took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was all he could do to not follow her up to her bedroom. Drunk as he was, he knew he could still show her exactly how he felt about her. Weaving his way out to the living room, he flopped down on the sofa.

Staring at the ceiling, he started to think about how her skin had felt beneath his fingers and tongue. He could feel the heat heading straight to his groin and he groaned in disappointment. Taking a few deep breaths, he tried to think of other things. The last thing he was going to do was jerk himself off on his friends sofa like he was some out of control teenager.

Getting his breathing under control, the events of the past few days and the alcohol he consumed finally caught up to him and he passed out on the sofa into a restless slumber.

*******************************

His head pounded in a throbbing rhythm. Slowing opening his eyes, Roy closed them as bright sunlight assaulted his vision. With a soft groan, he rolled over, immediately regretting the movement as his stomach churned and the bed began to spin. Flinging the sheet back, he ran to the bathroom, dropped to his knees and vomited.

Hugging the toilet, he rested a cheek against the smooth cool porcelain surface, thanking God that he was at home and not at a crusty bar. As he went to stand, his stomach protested the movement. Grasping the rim of the toilet, he heaved himself up and proceeded to regurgitate the remaining contents of his stomach. The sweat ran down his back and his entire body shook. Now he remembered why he didn't get drunk all that often.

Pushing himself up, he made an unsteady path for the shower. Maybe the water would make him feel better. Turning on the water, he adjusted the spray before stepping in. Resting his forehead against the wall, he closed his eyes, letting the water soothe his body. He didn't move for some time, hoping the nausea would leave.

His skin began to shrivel when he finally moved away from the wall. Taking the bar of soap, he made a half hearted effort at washing himself. His face screwed up in concentration as he tried to remember the previous night's events.

He had been drinking with Gage when he had found out that...that Joanne saw Gage naked! He dropped the bar of soap. His wife had seen his best friend naked. And she had admitted to touching him! Or at least that's what he thought he remembered them saying that's what happened.

He also remembered Joanne bringing him upstairs. She could be pretty persuasive when she wanted to be and boy had she done some persuading last night! He smiled as he thought of some of the things she had done and said. Then he frowned. He couldn't remember if they had taken any precautions.

Rinsing off, he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. Did they or didn't they? The last thing he needed at this point in his life was a baby. This was supposed to his and Joanne's time together. Chris and Jennifer were on the verge of leaving home. Chris had mentioned his possibly moving out by the end of the year. Jennifer wasn't going anywhere, but she was independent enough that they weren't tied down any longer.

A baby would mean diapers. A baby would mean sleepless nights, various illnesses and bills. They had finally reached the point where not every spare dime had to be spent on school payments or medical expenses. It meant not having to work a ton of overtime if he wanted to do something nice for Joanne. A baby would end everything that he had dreamed of for so long.

Dressing, Roy took his time, praying and basically begging God to not let him throw up if he promised not to drink again. He swore he heard God laughing at him. 'Sure Roy. I know how you keep your promises.' By the time he dressed, his head was back to its insistent pounding. He kept thinking about last night. Shaking his head, he tried to clear his thoughts. He immediately regretted it.

His stomach churned again and he swallowed several times. Yanking open the top drawer of the night stand, he dug around looking for the antacids that were kept there. He froze as he spied a packet of pills, the relief flooding through him. They were Joanne's pills. Breathing a sigh of relief, he continue searching through the drawer. There would be no baby. He'd forgotten that Joanne had gone on the pill a few months ago.

Finding the antacids, Roy popped three of them in his mouth. Tossing the bottle back in the drawer, he closed it and made his way out of the room and down the hall. As he passed Jennifer's room, the panic and tension came back. Was she on the pill? What if she got pregnant? Did she and Gage do anything last night?

Rushing down the stairs, he grimaced in pain. His head was killing him. He needed aspirin in the worst way. Walking into the kitchen he was greeted by a smiling Joanne.

"Well, good morning stud muffin." He smiled back at her as he opened a cupboard to get the aspirin. Her voice was teasing. "What's the matter studly? You have an itty bitty hang over?"

Looking back at Joanne, Roy gave her a cautious look, then he scanned the kitchen, noting the lack of anyone else. "Where's Johnny?"

She snorted and went back to cleaning the counter top. "Your partner in crime went home an hour ago. I deemed him fit enough to drive." She snickered. "He was begging me to let him go." Turning to Roy she looked him over. "He looked worse than you do."

Opening the refrigerator, she grabbed a can of tomato juice. Pouring a glass, she handed it to him. "Drink up. I know you were throwing up."

"How'd you know?"

She smiled and shook her head. "I heard you, honey. I swear I don't know who's more dramatic, you or Johnny."

"He was sick too?"

"As a dog."

For some reason knowing that Gage wasn't feeling all that well either made him feel better.

Taking a cautious sip of the juice, he tried to appear casual. "Where's Jennifer?"

Joanne smiled again as she filled the sink up to do the dishes. "She's at the beach. Johnny told her he'd be no fun today so she might as well stay here. Not five minutes after he left, Stacey called her and asked if she wanted to go to the beach."

"Oh."

"What do you want for breakfast? Creamed chipped beef or scrambled eggs and salsa?"

Roy paled and shook his head no, then flinched as it throbbed.

Joanne's laughter filled the room. "That's what you get for drinking. Don't you ever learn?"

Giving her a sheepish look, he smiled back at her. "I guess not."

She opened a cupboard and scanned the contents. "Seriously honey, what do you want to eat?"

He stared at the way her pants clung to her ass as she reached for a container of baking soda on an upper shelf. If he wasn't feeling so sick, he would have said her. Instead he took another sip of the juice and prayed his head would quit aching.

"Roy?"

"Huh? Oh...nothing. I'm not really hungry."

"Okay, suit yourself. You know you should at least eat a muffin. It'll soak up the stomach acid."

"Yes mom."

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "I'm not your mother. I think last night would have proved that." She gave him a wicked grin and turned away from him.

Taking another sip of the juice, he made his way over to the bread drawer and grabbed a muffin. Without even toasting it, he took a small bite and chewed it as he watched Joanne move around the room. She was still as beautiful and trim as the day they were married. She was still his everything. No, she wasn't his mother and for that he was grateful.

*******************************

Rolling over on his side, Gage stared at the empty space beside him and sighed. He had wanted so much to ask Jennifer to come home with him, but what good would that have done? He still felt queasy and it wouldn't have been fair for her to waste her day off.

Slowly sitting up, he ran a hand over his face and through his hair. When would he learn that he shouldn't drink like that? A slight smile came to his lips as he thought of how Roy must be feeling. Roy drank less often than he did, so he had to be one hurting puppy.

He showered and dressed in a ragged pair of jeans and beat up old work boots. Pulling a faded t-shirt over his head, he made his way down to the kitchen for a quick lunch. It was almost two in the afternoon and he had wasted too much of his day sleeping off the effects of the alcohol.

Downing a cup of coffee, he practically inhaled the sandwich he made. Stepping outside he was greeted by his neighbors large German Shepherd. He had wanted a dog of his own, but with his schedule and the hours that he kept, he didn't feel it would have been fair to the animal. Happily he had been 'adopted' by two cats and Dutch, the dog that bounced happily around him.

Rubbing a hand over the silver tinted fur, he chuckled as Dutch jumped up and placed his paws on his chest, almost looking him in the eye. "Are you sure you aren't a pony? Huh? Are you sure?!" He grabbed Dutch by the ruff and playfully tugged at his neck. Dutch latched onto his arm and bit down, but not enough to break the skin.

The ritual of rough play that they had developed had become a standard greeting for them both. The only time Gage regretted this bond of friendship had been when he had brought a date home and had to listen to her scream when she thought that Dutch was a wolf and was attacking him.

Playfully cuffing the dog on the side of the head, he made his way out to the small barn toward the back of the yard. The lawn was in need of trimming and he might as well do something productive with his time. Between mowing the grass and trimming everything, his afternoon would be filled.

*******************************

Jennifer unfolded the old quilt and flung it out so that it settled on the sand. Stacey looked down at the quilt and shook her head. "That thing is sooo ugly Jen. It's totally uncool ya' know."

Jennifer looked at the quilt as she kicked her sandals off. Dropping her bag on a corner of the quilt, she shrugged her shoulders. "So, at least I have room to lay down without getting sand all over me."

Reaching down, she peeled her shirt off, her shorts quickly followed revealing a skimpy black bikini. Stacey snickered and Jennifer blushed as she noticed a couple of boys a few feet away from them gawking at her.

Flopping down on the quilt, she turned her back to them. Stacey quickly sat down next to her, elbowing her hard in the ribs. "Are you crazy! Didn't you see how they were looking at us?! We could have dates tonight if we play our cards right."

Grabbing a bottle of suntan lotion, Jennifer began coating her golden skin, trying to sound casual as she spoke. "I don't need a date."

Stacey looked at her blankly, then grinned. "Don't tell me. Chris fixed you up with that cute fireman where he works?"

Jennifer smiled slightly. Stacey was half right, she was involved with a cute fireman. "You're close."

Stacey grabbed a container of baby oil from her bag and began coating herself with it. Jennifer gave her a look of disapproval. "You know you shouldn't use that stuff. It'll fry your skin and you'll get skin cancer..."

Stacey cut her off as she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know you worry too much." Stacey smiled broadly. "So who is it?"

"Who's what?" Jennifer grinned as she lay down on her stomach and pulled out a magazine from her bag.

Stacey stretched out beside her and snagged the magazine from her hands. "Spill it DeSoto. Who's the lucky guy?"

Jennifer could feel her cheeks heating up. Biting her lower lip, she looked sideways at her friend. "Well...you've met him before."

Stacey huffed and rolled her eyes. "It could be anyone. You know a ton of guys that I know." Stacey tapped her fingers on the magazine cover. "Let me guess. Um...Tony?" Jennifer shook her head no. "How about...Ralph!" Jennifer made a face and stuck her tongue out. "What's the matter with Ralph? He's cute!"

"Yeah, if you like blockheaded football players with necks bigger than their I.Q.s."

Stacey snickered. "So what if he's dumb. He's cute and I hear that the pro scouts are looking at him."

"Better them than me."

"You know what your problem is? You're too picky. No one's good enough for perfect Jennifer DeSoto."

Jennifer frowned at Stacey. "I never said I was perfect."

"You might as well have the way you keep blowing off the guys that ask you out."

Jennifer picked at a nail. "So. I was just waiting for the right guy to ask me that's all."

Stacey grew excited again. "Okay, who is it?! I know...it has to be Andy. He's wanted to go out with you forever and I know you think he's hot."

Jennifer shook her head no and smirked. "Andy's too immature."

Stacey giggled. "I hate to break it to you, Jen, but we all are. What did you expect? Some older guy would come along and sweep you off your feet?" Stacey's giggles faded as Jennifer smiled smuggly back at her. "No way! Not uh! He didn't!"

"Yes, he did." Jennifer kicked her feet back and forth and laughed as Stacey stared back at her open mouthed.

"You're lying! If he...you're nuts! If he asked you out, your mom and dad would have locked you up in your room and never let you out again!"

Laying on her side, Jennifer propped her head up on a hand. "Well, they did freak out a bit when we told them..."

"He and you 'told' your mom and dad about you two?!" Stacey's voice squeaked as she spoke. "And your dad didn't kill him?! Jen, he's twice your age and he's your uncle! Are you nuts!?!"

Jennifer raised an eyebrow at Stacey, then smiled. "If being in love is nuts, then that's what I am and he's not really my uncle and you know that."

Stacey licked her lips as she peered around them. Lowering her voice, she gave Jennifer a serious look. "Have you...have you done 'it' with him yet?"

"Stacey! I swear, you're worse than my mom!"

"Wellll...have you?"

Jennifer turned away from her and lay back on her stomach.

Stacey's tone was teasing. "You haven't even touched him, you big chicken."

Whipping around, Jennifer glared at her. "I have so!" She quickly looked away as Stacey began laughing loudly.

"You are such a virgin it's not even funny."

Casting a glare at her friend, Jennifer huffed out her reply. "At least I haven't slept with half the football team."

Stacey sat up and glared back at her. "At least I'm not some tease who gets guys all worked up and then says no!"

They glared at one another for a few seconds, then Stacey stood up and moved over to her blanket. Flopping down, she turned her head away from Jennifer.

Jennifer's voice was low. "I'm not a tease."

Stacey turned around, jumped up and flopped back next to her. "Yes you are. Look at you. You have the skimpiest bikini on the beach. You always wear the shortest skirts and you're always smiling and flirting with all the guys. That's a tease."

Sitting up, Jennifer narrowed her eyes. "The clothes a person wears doesn't mean a thing and if being nice is wrong then sue me. And look who's talking! Your bathing suit is smaller than mine!"

Stacey looked at her bikini top and frowned. "Yeah, but you have more to fill it with so yours looks smaller."

Jennifer looked down at her chest and crossed her arms. A blush quickly appeared as she thought of what Gage had done to her last night.

"I see that your...ahem...lover likes the fact that you're big breasted." Glancing sideways, Stacey smiled. "The guys next to us like it too."

Jennifer looked past Stacey, feeling her cheeks growing hotter as she locked eyes with one of the boys staring at her. His blue eyes looked into hers and he flashed her a smile of perfect white teeth from a perfectly tanned face. His short blond hair was cut in the latest style.

Breaking their eye contact, she stood and began walking down to the waters edge. The last thing she needed was some over sexed beefcake making the moves on her. She hated being ogled and treated like she was nothing more than a body.

Wading out into the water, she let the surf lap at her knees. She smiled as she thought of the short time she and Gage spent on the beach the night they went out for dinner. He was who she wanted. There had always been something about the way he looked that tugged at her heartstrings.

The coal black hair that was a bit too long. His hazel brown eyes that always held a mischievous sparkle in them, hinting at what lay beneath the surface of what people saw.

He was always accused of being too thin, but she liked his lean athletic appearance. It was as if he were in constant motion even when he was sitting still, which wasn't all that often.

Snickering to herself, Jennifer knew it was true love. She knew that everyone felt that she was in over her head. He was too old, too thin, too poor, too far out of her league. All she knew is that they were all wrong. He was what she had wanted. He was perfect. She giggled. Well, he was far from perfect, but she knew that he was the one who she'd spend the rest of her life with and be happy.

Wading back out of the water, she made her way back to the quilt and flopped down. Stacey rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you blew that guy off. He's gorgeous!"

Smiling Jennifer picked up the magazine that she brought out earlier. "Yeah, he may be perfect, but he's 'not' Johnny." Swinging her feet back and forth, she decided that she and Gage needed to spend some time alone with one another soon. She wasn't a tease and she meant to prove it with the right man.

*******************************

Moving about the bedroom, Jennifer bounced to a tune playing on the radio. Grabbing a lightweight jacket, she rolled it up and stuffed it in the backpack that lay on her bed. Looking out the window, she smiled. It was a beautiful sunny day and she was going to Gage's house, then from there they were going on a hike.

They hadn't seen much of each other in the past week with the way his work schedule had gone. All they had were a few minutes of chatting together while he waited for her dad to come downstairs and a quick kiss shared before anyone entered the room.

Then there were the phone calls that always managed to be interrupted by him being taken away by a call. Now she understood her mom's frustration at having to hear the tones go off in the background and then getting a quick 'I love you' muttered before the dial tone hummed in her ear.

Today was their day. No parents, no friends, no tone outs, just the two of them hiking through the hills and fields of California.

Strapping her pack shut, she jogged downstairs and dropped it by the front door. Making her way into the kitchen, she saw the usual scene that had been played out over the years. Her mom was busy making breakfast, her dad sat quietly at the table reading the morning paper.

As she moved around the kitchen, she could feel their eyes following her. She knew they were curious as to what she was doing and the questions that they wanted to ask were coming, so she might as well get it over with.

Trying to sound nonchalant, she grabbed a slice of cinnamon raisin bread and shoved it in the toaster. "If Stacey or Trish calls, tell 'em I'll be back later tonight. Johnny and I are going for a hike along the ridge behind his house." There. She told them what she was doing, with who and where.

Joanne pictured Jennifer and Gage hiking, enjoying themselves in the outdoors. Then she remembered when she and Roy were younger and what they had managed to do when they went out on solitary hikes. She couldn't keep the nervousness from her voice. "Oh? Well...it looks like a nice day...for a hike."

Roy peered over the top of the paper, first at Joanne, then at Jennifer. He tried to think of a reason why his wife sounded a bit unnerved. Then he remembered their hikes when they were teenagers trying to find some private time together. He dropped the paper on the table. "Isn't it a little deserted out there? Wouldn't it be better if you went hiking at the park?"

The toaster popped the slice of bread up. Grabbing it, Jennifer slathered it with butter. "Dad, we're only going hiking on the ridge. Johnny's taken me and Chris there a million times."

Joanne looked at Roy and he picked the paper back up, trying to think of a way to keep his daughter in a more populated area. "It's just...well you know how Johnny's a disaster magnet. I'd feel better if you weren't in the middle of nowhere all by yourself."

"He is not a disaster magnet! Just because he has an occasional accident, it doesn't mean it's his fault."

Roy dropped the paper back down. "I didn't say it was his fault, he just seems to attract trouble."

Shooting a small glare at him, Jennifer bit into the slice of bread. Taking a large gulp of milk, she smiled. A light bulb went off. Her parents weren't worried about anything happening to them, they were thinking of what they might do. "I guess it'll be up to me to make sure Johnny's well taken care of."

She could see both of her parents cringe slightly, but her mom's cringe was joined by a soft snicker. Jennifer felt like jumping up and down doing a victory dance. Her mom was finally getting use to her and Gage being together, even if it gave her the hebbies. If she could win her mom over, then her dad would follow without argument.

Stuffing the remainder of the bread in her mouth, she guzzled the milk, spilling some of it down her chin. Wiping it off with the back of her hand, she froze as Roy stared at her, then shook his head. "You're starting to eat like him now. That's just great."

She would have yelled something smart if she hadn't seen his smile before he pulled the paper up to block his face. Maybe she had been worrying too much. Maybe both of her parents had finally accepted the way things were going to be from now on.

Rushing out of the kitchen and up the stairs, she brushed her teeth. The knocking on the front door signaled that Gage was there to pick her up. Running back down to the kitchen she gave Roy and Joanne quick kisses and hugs, preventing any awkward conversations at the front door. "I'll see you later tonight. Love you both." Leaving the kitchen, she grabbed her pack and flung the door open, grabbing Gage by the arm and dragging him quickly away from the house. She was eager to get to his home so they could begin their day together.

*******************************

Joanne spooned eggs onto a plate and set them before Roy. Sitting next to him at the table, she picked at her food. "Honey, why do they have to grow up so fast?"

Looking up from his plate, Roy gave her a sad smile. "I don't know. It seems like only yesterday when she was riding her tricycle and now she's driving a car."

With a resigned sigh, Joanne straightened up. "Oh well...there's always the grandchildren to look forward to."

She burst into laughter as Roy's fork clattered to the floor, his expression one of shock and surprise. Taking one of his hands in hers, Joanne squeezed it. "I wouldn't worry honey, I think they'll use good judgment." Releasing his hand she sat back. "I mean, look at all the women Johnny's been with. I'm sure he knows the correct precautions to take or we'd be seeing a few little Johnny's running around."

Roy shook his head and made a sour face. "Just because he doesn't have any kids that we 'know' about, it doesn't mean he's all that careful. This is Johnny we're talking about. He's just been lucky so far."

"Oh don't be silly. I'm sure he knows what he's doing." She quickly corrected herself when Roy raised an eyebrow at her. "That's not what I meant and you know it. I'm sure he knows to use the proper..." She waved a hand in the air.

Roy leaned toward her. "Jo, do you remember how careful we were when we went on our hikes?" He stared at her. When her eyes widened in remembrance, he frowned and nodded his head. "Exactly. Once they're out there, they aren't going to be thinking of taking precautions."

Joanne sat at the table, her breakfast completely forgotten. It was one of their hikes that had ended up producing Chris.

*******************************

It was a nice day for a hike or so that's what the weatherman had said. As he hefted his backpack over his shoulders, Gage looked out past the ridge behind his house. In the far distance he could see the clouds building. Their fluffy whiteness would soon turn to gray as they converged over the mountains. Maybe the station's radar called for clear skies all day, but he knew better.

"Jen, if we hurry up we can get a short hike in before the storm."

Jennifer looked over at him and smirked. "Johnny, it's not supposed to rain."

He grinned back and pointed at the clouds rolling in from the west. "By this afternoon we'll have a nice sized storm."

"That's not what the weatherman said."

"Well, the weatherman probably can't see those clouds."

"Okay, fine. You say it's going to rain? How about you and me making a little bet?"

He eyed her clingy t-shirt knowing exactly what he wanted to wager.

She caught his stare and quickly dropped her eyes to look at her boots as she laced them tighter. It was no secret what he wanted to wager. Well, she was ready. Or at least she thought she was, but to be honest with herself, she was a bit terrified at the prospect of having sex. It wasn't that she didn't want him, God that's all she thought about! What scared her was the actual act. She'd heard all sorts of 'first time' stories from her friends and all of them involved pain.

The other major worry for her was she knew she would be awkward. He had been with so many women who probably would do anything and everything sexually and could do it well. The closest kind of sexual contact that she had was the night of her senior prom when she had let her date fondle her breast. When he had stuck his hand between her legs and touched her, she had freaked out on him and that had been the last date she ever had with him. He had yelled at her, called her a tease among other things.

Maybe people thought she was a tease, but at twenty-one she was still a virgin and damn proud of it. Looking back up at Gage, she smiled. "Okay...if it rains...I'll give you a massage."

He crossed his arms and gave her a wicked grin. "And if it doesn't rain?"

She paused for a second, her smile growing brighter. "Then you can give 'me' a massage."

Gage suddenly began wishing the storm would pass them by. A massage would mean he could touch her everywhere and not feel the least bit guilty doing it. It would also be a chance to find out what turned her on. "Deal."

He held his hand out to her. When she clasped it, he pulled her to her feet and into a hug. He held her for a moment, loving the feel of her in his arms. Giving her a quick kiss, he reluctantly let her go. He would have preferred staying home and making love to her all afternoon. With a sigh, he picked her pack up and handed it to her.

Jennifer hefted the backpack over her shoulders and strapped it in place. As she followed Gage off the porch, she began praying for a downpour.

*******************************

Cutting a path through a field Gage paused to look at the ominous clouds gathering in the sky. It looked as though he would be the one losing the bet or at least that was the way he saw it. Technically he would still win because of the rain because Jennifer would be giving him a massage, but his hands ached to touch her.

He pictured running a palm softly down her shoulders to rest at the small of her back, then over her firm ass and thighs. The vision of her long golden hair pulled back to the side, laying in a pool of silk made his heart race. Mentally shaking himself, he got back to the task at hand.

"Jen, we better pick up the pace if we want to stay dry." He looked at the blackness heading their way. "We definitely better get going. It looks like lightning."

Jennifer looked up the clouds. "Oh come on Johnny. How can you tell..." She stopped talking as the sky lit up in the distance as a jagged bolt of lightning cut across the horizon.

With a cocky grin on his face, Gage looked pointedly at her.

She frowned back at him. "Okay, so you're pretty good at predicting the weather."

"Oh, so my little princess is getting cranky. I think when we get back to the house, you should take a nap." He resisted the urge to smile as Jennifer glared up at him.

She grit her teeth as she spoke. "I don't need a 'nap' and I'm not your 'little' princess."

His mouth dropped open as Jennifer shouldered past him. He stared at her rapidly retreating figure as she rushed down the trail. It looked as though he had pushed things a bit too far. Apparently she was more sensitive about their age difference than he was.

With a small smile on his face, he jogged to catch up with her. He walked slightly behind her, watching her ponytail swish back and forth with each angry step she took. His attention was drawn away by a large flash of lightning, the sound of sharp thunder assaulted his ears.

Without meaning to, he walked right into Jennifer who had stopped to gawk at the darkened sky. They tumbled to the ground with Gage landing on top of her. Propping himself on his arms, he pushed away from her to crouch on the ground beside her.

Leaning over her, he checked to see if he had hurt her. "Jen are you okay?"

To his surprise, she rolled over and shoved him in the chest, knocking him backward. Landing heavily on his back, he lay stunned as a sharp pain held him motionless.

As Jennifer pushed to her knees, she yelled at him. "What do you think you were..." Her voice trailed off as she watched him slowly roll over on his side, pain etched on his features. "Oh geez...I'm sorry...I forgot. Are you okay?"

Pausing to catch his breath, he cautiously sat up, trying to see if he had aggravated his injury from the warehouse explosion. The last thing he wanted to do was make another trip to Rampart.

He sat in silence before leaning forward and stretching. Relief flooded him as he felt no more pain. As he moved to stand, Jennifer scrambled to her feet and grabbed him by the arm to help him up. Her voice was small, the guilt on her face obvious. "I'm sorry Johnny, I didn't mean to do that. It's just...you make me so mad sometimes."

Adjusting his pack, he looked down at her, seeing the tear-filled eyes that had won him over when she had been a child. Any irritation that he may have felt totally vanished. It was his fault that he teased her. Maybe if he treated her like a woman instead of someone who had to be coddled and protected, she would see how he really felt. That even if he called her his little princess, she was much more than that to him. Taking her by the hand, he gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm fine." Looking at the sky, he frowned. "We better get going, it looks like it's going to be pretty bad."

Jennifer looked at the sky as another jagged bolt of lightning streaked across the sky. "I think you're right."

They began quickly walking down the trail, knowing that they were going to be caught in the middle of the storm if they didn't hurry. Jennifer breathed a sigh of relief as they came over the familiar ridge and could see Gage's small ranch house in the distance.

"Aw man!"

Her smile faded as she turned to look at what he was staring at. "Crud."

They began running, even though they knew there was no way that they could escape it.

The rain came rushing at them like a black curtain being pulled across the sky. When the rain pelted down on them, Jennifer was surprised at how cold it was. She was shocked by the sharp sting of it as it hit her skin.

As the rain enveloped them, she could barely see three feet in front of them. The only thing she was sure of was the well worn path below her feet and Gage's hand on hers as he pulled her forward.

It seemed to take forever before they stumbled onto the porch. They stood for a moment, trying to catch their breath.

Gage looked at Jennifer and smiled. Her shirt clung to her like a second skin, her hair was matted and plastered to her shoulders. He watched as her chest heaved with each gasping breath she took.

Moving behind her, he helped her removed the pack from her back before taking his off and dropping it to the floor. When she reached down to take her pack inside, he stopped her by taking her by the hand and drawing her inside the house.

Leaving the screen door open so that the cool air from the storm could come in, he motioned for her to stay before disappearing into the kitchen. He reappeared, holding two large towels.

Jennifer jumped as a large flash of lighting and a crack of thunder struck close by. The light in the room flickered, then went out, the only illumination left was the light coming in from outside, which wasn't much at all.

Setting the towels down, Jennifer took Gage's cue as he began unlacing his boots. As soon as they got them off, he handed her the towels. She watched as he walked over to the fireplace, then smiled as the room lit up from the soft light of a hurricane lamp.

Walking back to her, he took one of the towels from her. As he dried his arms off, he watched as Jennifer lightly patted the water from her skin. Dropping his towel to the floor, he briefly hesitated before unbuttoning his soaked shirt. Hanging it from one of the coat hooks by the door, he could feel her eyes on him.

He knew it was time. Something deep inside of him nudged him forward.

Walking behind her, he reached around to take the towel from her hands. Gathering her hair, he began to gently dry it, slowly trailing the terry material over her neck. Taking a deep breath, he reached down and slowly edged his fingers under the hem of her t-shirt and began to draw it upward.

He felt her tense slightly, but she didn't stop him or protest. Pulling the shirt up and over her head, he let it drop to the floor. Toweling her back and shoulders, his hands shook in anticipation. As he unhooked her bra and slipped his fingers underneath a strap, he heard a soft inhale come from her. Again, she didn't stop him.

Letting the small scrap of material drop to join the discarded shirt, he resisted the urge to turn her toward him so that he could look at her. He would take things slow, letting her get use to what they were doing. There wasn't any reason to rush things. No one was around, they were utterly alone, and he intended to savor each moment between them.

Letting the towel fall from his grasp, he rested his hands on her bare shoulders. He gently kneaded her flesh as he placed butterfly kisses on her neck. Moving closer, he slid his hands forward, cupping her breasts as he pulled her against him so that they molded together.

She leaned into him, sighing as he ran a thumb over a nipple. As she slowly turned in his hold, he bent down to capture her mouth in a kiss, loving the feel of her breasts flattening against his chest. The ache in his groin grew as she sucked at his tongue, showing that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

They continued to kiss as they slowly backed into the living room, the golden light of the lamp casting their shadows against the wall. As he lowered her to the floor before the fireplace, he felt her stiffen in his hold, but she soon relaxed again as he placed kisses on her throat and nibbled teasingly at her neck.

Kissing a path downward, he took a nipple in his mouth, suckling it gently, he let his tongue flick over it until she moaned in delight. He listened to her small panting breaths, smiling as she ran her fingers through his hair, her touch light.

Taking a breath he held it, not knowing how she would react to his next move. Moving further downward, he placed kisses on her stomach, dipping his tongue into her navel. She squirmed under his touch as she rested her hands on his bare shoulders.

She tensed as he unbuttoned her denim shorts. Taking his time, he tugged them down, bit by bit, giving her ample time to stop him. When she didn't protest and began relaxing, he kissed her thighs.

What he wanted, he knew she would enjoy, but he wasn't sure if she had even experienced it. He knew he'd have to take it slow until he found out what she had done and more importantly what she hadn't done.

As he trailed a finger along the edge of her underwear, she shivered at his touch. He froze. Something wasn't right, he could feel it. He hesitated before slowly moving upward, pulling her to him, cradling her body against his chest.

He felt the rapid beating of her heart, heard her panting breaths. He could tell the difference. She wasn't ready no matter how many times she had said she was. The fear emanated from Jennifer making him feel as though he had done something horrible.

Kissing the top of her hair, he held her tighter, hoping that he offered her some form of comfort. "I'm sorry Jen."

Jennifer moved slightly away from Gage to stare into his eyes. He saw sadness and guilt mingled with her fear. Reaching a hand out, she ran her fingertips lightly over his face. "It's not...there's nothing wrong, it's...Johnny will you promise me, you won't be upset?"

He gave her a confused look as he took one of her hands in his. "Jen honey, why would I be upset? You're not ready. I can wait."

Shaking her head no, Jennifer tried to not laugh or cry as she spoke. She felt like such a fool. "I 'am' ready, it's just that...well...I've been waiting for 'you'." She gave him a look, hoping he would get what she was saying. He only stared blankly back at her.

Letting her breath out in a nervous exhale, she gave him an unsure smile. "I've never done this before." There. She got a reaction from him.

He tensed, his eyes widening in surprise. "You mean...you've never? Ever?!"

Her voice was practically a whisper. "No."

Letting Jennifer go, Gage rolled onto his back and away from her, the shock on his face letting her know that he had been completely clueless. Bringing his hands up to his face, he rubbed at his eyes. "Man, I am such a pig."

He sat up and looked in irritation at her, his voice sounding peeved. "You were going to let me...you weren't even going to tell me?!"

Jennifer gave him another guilty look. "I wanted it to be a surprise. I wanted you to be the first, the..." She wanted to say she wanted him to be the only one, but that would have made her look like a whiny teenager living the Cinderella syndrome.

Looking down at herself, she felt like a complete and utter fool. Crossing her arms, she covered her breasts. She had managed to ruin everything. The tears began to track their way down her cheeks before she could stop them.

"Aw Jen, don't cry."

She found herself enveloped in a hug. Resting her damp face against his chest, she knew what she wanted, but it still didn't stop the fear that she was feeling.

Now that he knew, she figured he'd push her away, let her 'save' herself for the 'right' man. Shoving her fear aside, she knew that it had to be now. She had to make him understand how she felt.

This wasn't some crush, it wasn't puppy love. She wanted him heart, body and soul. She knew she already had his heart and soul, the physical aspect would be the final step in their bonding.

Running a hand down his chest and stomach, she placed it over his crotch, letting her fingers feel him through the material of his jeans. He gasped, then grabbed her hand to slowly draw it away.

"Jen, you don't have to do this."

Pulling her hand from his grasp, she placed a kiss on his chest before resting her cheek against the smooth skin. "I know I don't have to. I 'want' to. Can't you understand? I'm afraid because...I know it's going to...hurt."

She looked into his eyes. "I love you and I want to be with you. It's not you that I'm afraid of."

"Jen..." He let out a heavy breath. "This isn't something...you have to be sure. Once it's gone, it's gone."

Running her fingertips, lightly across his stomach, she gave him a small smile. "I know that. Why do you think I waited so long?"

Moving away from her, Gage stood and took a throw blanket from the back of the sofa. Reaching a hand out, he helped her to stand, then draped the blanket around her shoulders. Leading her up the stairs, he drew her into the darkened bedroom, the occasional flash of lightning their source of light.

Brushing a kiss across her cheek, he turned and walked over to a dresser. She watched his shadowy figure, then heard the sound of a match being lit. The initial bright light was soon transferred to a candle where it softened, casting a warm glow throughout the room.

Her eyes followed every motion that he made from his hand coming up, to his lips pursing as he blew the match out. When he turned to face her, she felt her stomach clench. The way that he looked at her was entirely different than she had ever seen. It was though he were someone else. This was the man that she never knew, that she was going to get to know this night.

With each step that he took toward her, her heart picked up in it's beating. Standing before her, he gave her a smile that was both gentle and...sexy. Her eyes dropped to look at the floor as her heart raced.

Untangling her fingers from the blanket, he took her hands in his, running his thumbs over her skin. She shivered as he brought them up to his lips and kissed them. She was sure she was shaking and that her fingers must have felt like ice, but he didn't give any indication that he even noticed.

His hands let go of hers to run his palms up her arms and over her shoulders, pushing the blanket off, it dropped to the floor. She had never felt so exposed in her life. A hand cupped her chin and brought her face up so that she looked at him. He gave her small smile as he led her to the bed.

"I think we need to relax."

She nodded her head yes, too afraid to say anything and more worried about saying something stupid or childish.

Pulling back the comforter, she settled on the bed, then crossed her arms self-consciously across her chest. He gave her a look, then a sly smile crossed his lips.

"I think you'll feel better if you lay on your stomach."

She gave him a curious look, but did as he requested. Rolling over, she propped her chin in her hands. He was right, she didn't feel like she was totally naked this way. Just as she relaxed a fraction, she heard the unmistakable sound of a zipper being pulled down.

Turning her head, she stared at him as he began to tug the wet denim down over his hips. "What are you doing?"

He chuckled as he placed a hand over her eyes. "No peeking Jen."

She felt a small bit of irritation creep past her fear. "I wasn't peeking. Besides, you've seen me, why can't I look at you?"

This time he laughed. "Oh no you don't." He turned her head away from him, then she felt the heat rise in her as he leaned over her back, his breath hot on her neck as he whispered in her ear. "Not yet Jen...you're still a bit overdressed."

Her heart began to race again. Trying to calm herself, she concentrated on the softness of the sheet beneath her. She listened to his movements, the sound of wet denim hitting the floor seemed overly loud. When his hands touched her to trace a path down her back, she held her breath.

The bed sagged as he lay down beside her, the heat from his body contrasted with the chills that she felt as his fingers played teasingly with the elastic of her underwear. She thought that he was going to remove them, instead he began to softly rub at her lower back again, working his way up to her shoulders. She felt herself beginning to relax and at the same time she felt the need to pull away and grab him.

He knew exactly what he was doing to her as his hands made a path down her back again and moved to her thighs. He rubbed and kneaded her flesh until all of the tenseness in her muscles were replaced by a tenseness within her. She ached for him to touch her in a more intimate way.

She wanted him so badly, but a part of her was still afraid. She was afraid to ask more of him. Afraid that he would think she was...what? A whore? She almost laughed outloud at the thought. A virgin whore. That would be a first.

Her musings disappeared as his lips brushed light kisses over her shoulders. Moving closer, he tucked against her body, drawing her into his embrace. She felt the heat of him against her skin. The blood pounded in her ears as he pressed his hardness against her thigh.

Turning in his arms, she faced him. So many feelings rushed through her as she stared into his darkened eyes. Leaning in, she brushed her lips against his. She was a bit surprised when he returned her kisses just as light and soft. She had half expected him to pounce on her like a cat about to devour a mouse.

He could feel her hesitation, her unsureness. The part of him that wanted to protect her was slowly being overrun by the part of him that wanted to possess her. Holding her tighter, he drew her in for another kiss, deepening it, pleased when she responded in kind. The tenseness had left her body as she practically wrapped herself around him.

With each kiss and touch, he knew he was bringing her closer, making her want him more than she feared what they were about to do. Running a hand down her back, he slid his fingers under the material of the silk underwear that she wore as he kissed a path down her throat.

Bit by bit he edged the material down until he slipped them off. Dropping them over the edge of the bed, he ran a hand over the soft downy hair between her legs. She stiffened against him, then relaxed as he moved his hand away.

Each kiss and touch by her was driving him nuts. He wasn't use to having to restrain himself like this. He was use to 'jumping into the fray', never having to worry about whether or not he would be hurting his partner or if they had ever done any of the things that he was about to do.

Kissing her deeply, he smiled inwardly as slowly her legs spread slightly, invitingly. Slipping a hand downward, he gently touched her center, finding it moist and hot. She gasped into his mouth, then moaned as he rubbed his fingers against her. Every movement he made was slow and deliberate, designed to tease her into arousal.

When she pressed herself against his touch, he took it as a sign to move forward again. A soft sigh escaped her lips as he edged a finger into her very core. He took his time, letting her get use to this invasion before he began to move it in and out of her, each time coming out to rub against her center, then softly sliding back into her heat.

She jerked against him as he hit a particularly sensitive spot. Moving a hand down, Jennifer resisted the urge to push him away. Her mind and body warred with one another. One part of her wanted it all so badly that she thought she would faint, the other part wanting to jump up and run away, back to the safety of childhood.

With each soft stroke of his fingers, she could feel her body tensing. When his fingers moved to play with her clit, she moaned and arched her body even closer, pressing herself against him wantonly. Their kisses were still light and teasing, just as his fingers were.

She could feel herself getting closer to her release, but having only had her own self-exploration to go by, she wasn't so sure if she was ready for this. Pleasing him was one thing, but her own sexuality was an unknown that scared her. She was always the good girl. The one who always said no. Moving her hand to cover his, she pushed him away.

Gage let her take his hand away, but he wasn't about to let her end this. He knew she was unsure, it was expected. He wanted her to know that what they were doing wasn't wrong. "Jen, it's okay. You have to relax. It's not dirty or disgusting to want me to touch you."

Giving her a kiss, he worked a path down her throat, stopping to again pay special attention to her breasts. Yes, he had to admit they had always been his favorite part of any woman, but from the way Jennifer responded, she enjoyed him touching them just as much, if not more.

He spent more than a few minutes indulging in preferred area before he began his path downward. Placing soft kisses on her belly, he glanced up at Jennifer's face. Her eyes were closed, her mouth slightly parted as she took short panting breaths. With a slight smile on his face, he quickly moved downward to settle between her thighs. Keeping his eyes trained on her face, he kissed the inside of her thigh before moving to his intended target.

Jennifer's eyes popped open in shock, then quickly shut as she moaned in pleasure and surprise as Gage played her center with his tongue. She never thought something that seemed so dirty could feel so good. Gripping the sheets in one hand, she twisted them. Reaching down, she threaded her fingers through Gage's hair, resisting the urge to push his head closer. Instinctively she thrust her hips toward his questing mouth as the tightness in her groin grew. In a few short minutes, a loud, keening wail erupted from her throat as she came, the intensity of pleasure shocking her. Never in her life had she felt something like this.

With a satisfied smile, Gage released his hold around her thighs. Wiping his chin off on the sheet piled next to him, he pulled himself up to lay beside her. Propping his head on his hand, he gave her a smug smile. "So I guess by your reaction, you liked that?"

Jennifer gave him an embarrassed smile. The idea that he had that done to her...that he was the one to do it...and yes she enjoyed it. She more than enjoyed it. In fact, she could get use to him doing that to her anywhere, anytime. Not that she would tell him that. Or should she? "Um...yes. I did...a lot." She looked away, feeling her face heating up. God, this was so awkward for her.

He took her chin in his hand and made her look back at him. Smiling, he rubbed a thumb over her lower lip. "Get use to it then 'cause I like to hear how you sound and feel when I make you cum." Reaching forward, he claimed her mouth in a deep kiss. Pulling her against him, he hooked a leg around hers so that they were intertwined. As their kisses grew in intensity, Jennifer grew bolder. If Gage could do something like that for her, then she could show him how she felt.

Moving a hand between their bodies, her fingers found him. She tentatively explored his length, smiling as he groaned softly at her touch. His hand moved to cover hers, urging her to close around him. Her unsureness was replaced by a sudden sense of power. The same feelings that he instilled in her, she could easily bring in him.

Locking an arm around his neck, she brought her lips to his again as she began to slowly tug and pull at his arousal. The kiss became one of total passion and lust, leaving her stunned by it's intensity.

Rolling Jennifer beneath him, Gage broke her contact with his body. Her cheeks were flushed a deep pink, her mouth slightly parted as she breathed heavily. Never in his life had the need to have a woman so overwhelmed him.

He nudged her legs apart, then frowned. Some part of his mind still functioned in a logical way, screaming through the sexual haze that he needed to do something important. He closed his eyes briefly, groaning before pushing away from her.

Jennifer grew confused as Gage hopped off the bed leaving her feeling alone and abandoned.

"Johnny is something wrong?"

He quickly rejoined her and she grew embarrassed as he held a condom up between two fingers.

"Your mom and dad aren't too happy about us being together. Think of how unhappy they'd be if I got you pregnant."

"Oh." She felt like an idiot again. She hadn't even though of that. Thank God, he had the sense to remember or they'd find themselves in a predicament that neither one of them were ready to face just yet.

She was about to stop him to say that she would try and pleasure him orally, but instead she watched in fascination as he sat back on the bed and ripped the small foil packet open. He noticed her intently watching him. Smiling slightly he held the condom out to her.

"Would you care to do the honors?"

She tried to smile, but it faltered. "Um...no thanks. I really don't know how they...I mean...uh....you do it."

He caught the apprehension in her voice, the worry in her eyes. As much as he wanted her, he didn't want her to feel forced to do this. "Jen, we don't have to do this."

Feeling even more stupid than she ever thought possible, she nodded down at his erection. "Are you sure that it'll fit over you..." Her face flamed as he began laughing.

He continued snickering as he expertly rolled the condom on, then moved to lay beside her. "Jen hon, you're doing wonders for my ego."

Tucking against him, she sighed in frustration. "I feel like such an ass."

"Well how about I make you feel better?"

Capturing her mouth in a tongue probing kiss, she moaned in delight, then immediately tensed again as she found herself beneath him once more. As he eased himself between her legs, he pushed them further apart, making her feel both panicky and excited beyond belief.

Leaning over her, he rested his weight on his forearms as he looked into her eyes. His voice was both seductive and soothing. "You have to let me know if I'm hurting you, okay?"

Her voice was small as she answered him. "Okay."

Leaning down, he gave her a gentle kiss, then another. As she relaxed, he deepened each kiss. Moving slowly, he rubbed his erection against her center before gently edging himself between her moist folds. His body trembled with the effort of holding back. Pushing in further, he stopped as Jennifer gasped, her hands pressing against his chest.

"Ssh. It's okay Jen. I won't go any further." Pulling back, he bit his lip before slowly sliding back in until he felt her hands press against him again.

He moved slowly, feeling a trickle of sweat run down the side of his back. Each time he reached a certain point, she would stop him and he knew why. Shifting his position slightly, he took her hands and pinned them over her head causing her eyes to widened in panic.

"Relax Jen." He pushed further in, watching her eyes close tightly in pain, before pulling back again. She lay beneath him, her face coated in a light sheen of sweat, her mouth parted as she took panting breaths.

"Jen hon...this is gonna hurt a little...I'm sorry."

Opening her eyes, she stared up at him for a moment before nodding her head yes. As he moved his hips backs, she automatically curled her hands into fists, anticipating the pain that her friends all talked about.

His body shivered as he thrust his hips forward, Jennifer's small cry of pain making him feel like some type of criminal. In this one moment he had taken her innocence.

She lay beneath him breathing heavily, her form looking small and delicate. Pulling slowly back, he moved into her. The discomfort for her was obvious, but this time she didn't cry out. Releasing his hold on her wrists, he half expect her to slap him, instead her hands clutched themselves around his neck and pulled him downward for a kiss.

He began to pump into her, trying to establish a smooth careful rhythm, watching to see if she was even enjoying their joining. As much pleasure as he was feeling, he could see that it wasn't the same for her no matter what he did.

He gave her a kiss, moving his lips to her ear. "I love you Jen...I didn't want to hurt you."

Her fingers threaded their way into his hair and pushed him back enough so that she could look into his eyes. How could he feel so guilty about what they were doing? She loved him and in this simple act he was finally hers. They were completely together the way she knew they should be.

Yes, there was still pain and discomfort, but she knew that he was experiencing feelings that she couldn't even fathom and it was all because of her. It was a revelation of sorts to her. The slightest touch, a movement, could bring him to the point of losing all control, just as he had done to her.

She drew him down for another kiss, hoping to chase his feelings of guilt away. Running a hand down his back, she suckled at his neck, placing small bites and kisses on his skin. She could feel the muscles beneath his skin flexing and tensing under her caress.

His movements suddenly quicken when she wrapped her legs around his back, drawing him closer to her. When she reached between them to touch him, she smiled as he moaned. His thrusts became erratic, then without warning, he pushed deeply in, drawing a small cry from her, his entire body straining against hers.

He stopped moving as he dropped his head onto her shoulder, the sound of his heavy breathing the only noise in the room. She concentrated on how she felt. How he felt. Mingled with the dull pain between her legs, she could feel him. With each beat of his heart, she felt it within her as well.

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly. They lay together like this for a few moments before he pulled away from her. She felt him slide out and was surprised at how it made her feel. She had almost expected to feel relief from him leaving her, but instead it made her feel empty. Already she yearned for him to fill her once more.

The feeling of emptiness evaporated as he lay beside her and pulled her into his embrace. Nuzzling his face in her hair, he breathed in her scent before he moved back to look into her eyes. He didn't see disappointment, only love looked back at him.

Giving her a smile, he leaned down and kissed her, trying to convey how much he loved her in each touch and gesture. When she returned his smile and kiss, he knew what they had done was right.

*******************************

He played with her hair, curling some of it around his fingers. Even in the low light cast by the candle on the dresser he could see its golden sheen. After all his searching, he finally had what he wanted.

A feeling of contentment seeped through his body as Jennifer ran her fingers lightly over his chest. Never in all the times he had been with a woman had he felt like this. The emptiness was finally gone. Wrapping his arms around her, he cuddled a bit closer.

Closing his eyes, he decided a nap was in order, but Jennifer had other ideas. Or at least her body did as her stomach rumbled noisily.

"You hungry?"

Jennifer felt embarrassed, something she seemed to be doing on a regular basis. Of all the time for her stomach to start complaining for food. "Um...kind of."

Untangling himself from her arms, Gage sat up. Giving her a kiss, he stood and made his way to a dresser. Grabbing a pair of jeans, he pulled them on. Looking back at the bed, he smiled as he caught Jennifer staring at him. She quickly looked away.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to stare."

Walking back to the bed, he sat down beside her, running a hand through her hair. "Jen hon, you can look as much as you like, there's nothing wrong with it."

Sitting up, she pulled the sheet up to cover herself. For some reason she felt weird sitting and talking to him naked. Considering what they had just done she shouldn't have cared, but years of hiding herself couldn't be washed away from one encounter. "I know there's nothing wrong with it, I...it just doesn't seem right." She gave him a sheepish look, then noticed his small look of worry.

"You're not regretting what we did are you?"

"No! No Johnny, that's not it, it's...I don't know. I guess mom and dad beat it in my head for so long that seeing a guy naked wasn't exactly the best thing for me to be looking at."

Gage snickered as he stood again. "Yeah and I bet looking at me naked would be a big taboo."

Going to another dresser, he pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Handing them to Jennifer, he smiled. "They may be a bit big, but until the power comes back on and I can dry your clothes, they'll hafta' do for now."

Taking the clothes, she quickly pulled the t-shirt over her head. As she moved to get off the bed, she flinched. Her friends had been right. It had been painful and now she was sore as hell.

She made quick work of pulling the sweatpants on, thankful that they were loose. The last thing she wanted was anything rubbing against her tender skin.

As she turned to straighten the covers on the bed, she felt her face heat up. In the candlelight the light smears of blood on the white sheets were plainly visible. She jumped as Gage walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "I didn't mean to...I mean...your bed...the sheets..." She stammered as she spoke, feeling embarrassed, stupid, idiotic...so many emotions ran through her.

"It's okay Jen."

"No it's not okay, they're ruined." A tiny voice inside her brain echoed her thoughts. She was ruined. Just like the sheets, she was stained. Everyone would know.

As Jennifer slowly turned in his hold to hug him tightly, Gage felt the guilt return, only this time it was tenfold. He hadn't expected something like this. He knew that maybe Jennifer would have been a little regretful, but her being on the verge of tears surprised him. As he held her, he rubbed her back. "I'm sorry Jen. I knew we shouldn't have done anything."

She tucked tighter against him, her voice shaky. "It's not that. I just feel...I feel like I let mom and dad down."

"Jen, you didn't let anyone down. They're always going to be proud of you no matter what you do."

"God, I feel so stupid." Moving away from Gage, she wiped a hand across her face. Looking back at the sheets, she grabbed the comforter and pulled it up, hiding both the blood and her feelings of self doubt.

Going into the bathroom, they quickly cleaned up, neither one of them speaking. Jennifer resisted the urge to cry. She was making everything so awkward. Taking one of his hands in hers, she pulled him from the room. He followed her down the stairs, letting her lead him through the house. Coming to the kitchen, she let go of his hand and walked to the door where she stood staring out at the rain as it continued to fall from the sky. "It doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon."

Walking to stand behind her, Gage resisted the urge to hug her again. "Yeah, it's going to rain for a while." Moving away from her, he began opening some cupboards. "I can make some sandwiches, but that's about it. Until the electricity comes back on, dinners going to be a bit limited." Just as he said it, the light in the room popped back on. "Well, I guess that settles that. What do you want to eat?"

Turning around, Jennifer walked over to the table and sat down. Rubbing at an imaginary spot on the table, she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. You decide."

Opening a few more cupboards, Gage glanced at Jennifer, then smiled as he found what he was looking for. "How about pancakes and eggs?"

Jennifer looked up at him, a slight smile coming to her face. Pancakes for dinner at Gage's house had always been considered a treat by her and Chris as they had been growing up. Her mom and dad would never make them, saying they were breakfast food only. "Sure. That sounds great."

Without even thinking about what she was doing, she stood and made her way to the refrigerator. Taking the eggs, she brought them over to the stove and held them out to Gage. She could feel the tension slowly melting away as the comforting feeling of doing something so familiar settled over her.

As they made dinner, they talked about little things. Their work, what they might do the following week. She found herself noticing small things about him that she never really paid much attention to before. The way the muscles in his back moved under his skin. The small lines that were beginning to form around the corner of his eyes. The scars from injuries and burns.

She also noticed the things that she had seen all of her life. The teasing smile that he always seemed to wear when he was around her, the sparkle in his eyes when he talked about his job.

She had been right. It had been time for them to move forward in their relationship. All the old feelings were now joined by new ones, making the bond between them stronger than before.

As they sat down at the table to eat their meal, she knew that what had been started this day between them wouldn't end until the day that one of them died. With a small shiver, she brushed away the morbid thought and smiled at Gage across the table.

*******************************

Sitting in the Rover out front of her parents home, Jennifer rested a hand on Gage's thigh as she leaned over to kiss him goodnight. As the kiss deepened, she inched her hand upward to caress him.

His hands worked their way through her hair, pulling her head back, he nibbled a path down her neck before pulling away. Taking her hand from him, he let out a ragged breath and shook his head no. "We gotta' stop. I'm not going to have Roy or Joanne catch us out here." He peered around them into the darkness. "And there's no way I'm going to give your neighbors anything to talk about."

Jennifer couldn't help laughing. She knew he was right, but even though she didn't have any intentions of letting things go as far as they did earlier in the day, she didn't want him to leave. "Why don't you come in for a while. I'm sure Mom and Dad are still up."

This time Gage was the one to laugh. "Oh no, you're not getting me to go in there now." He held his watch up to her and tapped it. "It's past your bedtime young lady." Her scowl made him laugh some more. "Come on Jen, you know I'm only teasing you."

Sticking her tongue out at him, she moved to get out of the Rover only to be pulled back in to receive another kiss. By the time he let her go, she was breathless. Releasing her he gave her a winning smile. "Rule number one. Never go to bed angry."

She smiled back at him. "I thought that only applied to married couples."

He cocked his head to the side and gave her a wicked grin. "So's what we did this afternoon, but I didn't hear you complaining then." He froze as he noticed a shadowy figure pulling at the curtain of the large bay window of the DeSoto home. "I guess I better be going Jen. Your dad's checkin' up on us."

Jennifer frowned, then smiled. "The let's give him something to think about."

She grabbed him and practically climbed into his lap, giving him a soul searing kiss that left them both feeling a little more worked up than either of them cared to admit.

Gage reluctantly pushed Jennifer away. He wanted to take her back home and make love to her all night, but with Roy waiting at the door, he knew if he valued his life, he'd better get moving. "Jen hon, you can't be doing stuff like that. Your dad'll have a coronary."

"No he won't and if he did, you'd save him. Besides, it'll teach him to not spy on us. You know he's grossed out by now." She moved away, then opened the door only to have Gage stop her from leaving again.

"I'll call you tomorrow." Leaning across the seat, he kissed her again, only this one was less demanding. "'Night princess."

She rolled her eyes and shut the door. Smiling up at him, she bowed slightly. "Goodnight my sweet prince." Turning, she reluctantly made her way up the walk.

Opening the front door, she waved to Gage to let him know she was in. She could barely make out him waving back to her, then he pulled away. Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself for battle as she stepped into the house.

*******************************

Walking quietly into the house, Jennifer tried to act as normal as possible. Roy and Joanne both glanced up as she came through the door. She felt like she had a big sign hanging from her neck proclaiming that she had sex.

"Hi Mom, hi Dad." As she headed for the stairs, Joanne stopped her.

"Did you and Johnny have a nice hike?"

With a feeling of dread and defeat, Jennifer dropped her pack down on the floor and made her way over to the sofa. Gently lowering herself down, she resisted the urge to cringe. She still felt a bit sore. "Yeah, it was nice, but we had to cut it short. There was a big storm."

Roy frowned. "It didn't rain here."

"Well, it poured out on the ridge. We got soaked."

She watched as they looked her over. Her clothes were dry, her hair wasn't stringy or frizzy. "Uh...I got a shower while Johnny washed my clothes." She didn't lie about that part, all she neglected to say was it happened after they had sex and dinner.

There was an uncomfortable pause and Jennifer knew exactly what her parents were thinking and they were right in doing so, but there was no way she would ever admit to either one of them what she and Gage had done. "Well, I'm kind of beat so I think I'll head up to bed." Pushing up and off the sofa, she walked over to each one in turn and gave them a goodnight kiss.

Even though she was an adult and had made a conscious decision as to who and when she had lost her virginity to, the idea that somehow her parents knew made her feel as though she had hurt them in some way.

She knew why her parents had married early so that was one of the reasons why they worried so much about her, but she was confident that it wouldn't happen to her. Gage was even more cautious and levelheaded about taking precautions than she had expected.

She trusted him completely before they had been involved and that trust had carried over to the bedroom. She had trusted him to be careful and he had done everything that she had hoped for and more.

Walking over, she picked up her pack and made her way up the stairs and to her room. Dropping it by the bed, she felt a little guilty as she unbuckled it and withdrew a t-shirt. Unraveling it, she held it up to her face and breathed in deeply. It smelled like him.

If Gage would have caught her taking one of his shirts, she was sure he would have laughed at her, but she wanted to be able to feel as though he was with her when she went to sleep. Taking her clothes off, she pulled the shirt over her head, grinning at how ridiculously big it seemed on her.

Peeking out of her room and down the hall, she scampered to the bathroom to take care of business. After brushing her teeth, she went to go to the bathroom and rolled her eyes at the blood that lightly stained her underwear.

With an irritated sigh, she pulled them off and wadded them up. Looking at the wastebasket, she debated on throwing them away, but she couldn't do it. They were brand new and made of pure silk.

A smile came to her face as she remembered how Gage had run his hands over the silk material as he had kissed her neck. With a small shiver, she quickly decided to try and salvage them. The stain wasn't all that noticeable. Tossing them in the hamper, she made her way back to her room.

Grabbing an old pair of cotton panties, she pulled them on and climbed into bed. Laying back, she hesitated. She wanted to write in her diary, but she was too tired. All she wanted to do was sleep. With a resigned sigh, she reached out and turned the light off and lay back.

She fidgeted, then began tossing and turning as she remembered how it felt to cuddle up against Gage. To feel his heart beating beneath her hand. She loved the way he had held her against him. The way he had nuzzled his face in her hair.

She knew this wouldn't be enough for either one of them. She wouldn't be happy until she spent all of her nights with him and she knew by the way he had acted, he felt the very same way.

*******************************

Walking through the living room, Gage turned off the lights and made his way up the stairs. He laughed softly to himself as his two adopted cats dashed past him and up to the bedroom. They knew it was time to sleep so they headed for the room to fight over the best spot near the window.

Stripping down, he flopped down on the bed and pulled the covers up. Staring at the ceiling, he knew tonight would be another restless evening of sporadic naps. He hadn't told anyone of his constant dreams of seeing Donny and Steve die over and over again.

If Jennifer were with him, he could have at least been able to run his fingers through her hair and hold her close to him all night. He pictured her laying next to him, keeping the image of her in his minds eye.

Closing his eyes, he thought of how soft and golden her hair was. How smooth and supple her body has been beneath his. How hot and tight she had been. His eyes flew open and he took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

He knew he had been right. Jennifer was completely his...now and always. Then he remembered one major roadblock to it all. Roy.

He'd have to face him tomorrow at work. Would his friend and partner somehow know that he had 'defiled' his 'little girl'? He knew Roy would have a heart attack if he even got an inkling as to his plans of wanting to marry Jennifer.

Throwing an arm over his eyes, Gage began formulating a plan. It would take some time, but he was use to waiting for the things that he wanted. If he did things the right way, he and Jennifer would be together in less than a year.

END


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